Short essay from Lorraine Caputo

QUIRIGUÁ

A rocky road studded with jade and copper-blue rocks cuts for several miles through banana plantation, heading for the heart of the Maya past. This land formerly of Cuauc Sky, Jade Sky … formerly of the United Fruit Company, now (in this late-December of 1993) of DelMonte.

A hedge of clavel separates road from field. Their bright red flowers cascade towards the dustraised by passing trucks and tourist buses. Three men ride up on bicycles, a small bunch of bananas slung from the handlebars. They pass a sign. PROHIBITED TO CUT RACIMO DE BANANO.

The finca stretches to either side, laced with irrigation ditches and overhead cable lines. Broken sunlight shifts on the ground with each sway of the broad green leaves splitting into thick frays. Large purple and red teardrop flowers bow. As each aged petal curls away, the delicate fingers of a new bunch of bananas is revealed. The growing racimo is protected from sun, dirt, rain by blue perforated bags. Trees are tied to one another with a thin white cord to keep them erect beneath the weight of heavying fruit.

Four workers emerge from a field. One has a small bundle of bananas in hand. Their loose rubber boots slap against calves. The lunchtime silence interrupted by birdsongs and the sound of water erupting from upright black pipes. A circulating sprayer pounds it down upon the leaves like a torrential rainstorm. The road wettens, muddies. It continues through a guarded gate. HALT PRIVATE PROPERTY BANDEGUA.

An old rail line passes through its own yellow and black barrier. Across the road and rusty tracks lie the ruins of Quiriguá.~

~ Upon entering the site the banana forest gives way to palms and amates, ceibas and almond trees. Elaborately carved stelae rise seven, eight, nine meters towards a rain-threatening sky.

This Quiriguá once was a colony of Copán only 50 kilometers away as the cuervo flies.But Cuauc Sky chose independence. He captured 18 Rabbit and beheaded that Copán rival. These stones record the history. This Maya kingdom, tough, faded with the rule of Jade Sky. The spirit houses and monuments sank into the returning jungle.

Many centuries later arrived a new conqueror: United Fruit. It stretched its fincas to the hills that roll down to the Río Motagua that once divided those great Maya kingdoms, that divided the great rival fruit companies. An island in the new banana jungle, United Fruit donated this site several decades after acquiring these lands.~ ~ ~

I turn back following the rusty rails into the heart of the finca. Yellow flowers and grass cover the rotting wood ties. Banana fields dense on either side.I soon come upon a light-ochre structure: PLANTA 22 – WITH TEAMWORK WE HAVE SUCCEEDED IN PRODUCING BANANAS OF THE BEST QUALITY DEL MONTE.

The sound of water and voices echo from the open building. The packing plant is idle until day after next when the banana branches will arrive on those cable lines. Their wire-mesh baskets hang empty.

But still the workers toil their seven days a week, from sunrise to after sunset. Barefoot women scrub the tanks in which the choice bananas are washed and disinfected. They scoop the water out of the vat with their hands and brush the rims and outside walls. A young boy helps his mother. The smell of their chemical bath hangs in the humid air. Empty Del Monte boxes stack. A woman rubber cements bright yellow plastic on blocks of styrofoam. They will divide the boxes, protect the fruit when packing resumes.

Outside, an empty truck waits, its rear doors open, to take the rejects to Central American markets. The conveyor belts to carry that clean, perfect fruit lie slack.~ ~ ~ ~

Again I walk atop the railroad barranca. A man in a short-sleeve t-shirt straddles the walls of an irrigation ditch. He turns the massive black wheel handle. Stagnant water seeps then flows into the field. A dirt road leads to grid-laid tin-roofed, smooth-plastered walls of the workers’ housing.

A blue tractor pulls a flatbed trailer. On benches sit four bananeros going into the fields.At the low bridge before Quiriguá village, the banana forest ends, and just at the edge of that pueblo, a yellow and black guard gate blocks the old tracks: HALT.

This branch off the Puerto Barrios line continues into the village of sagging wooden houses straddling canals. The tin roofs rust under the stormy sky.

Lorraine Caputo is a wandering troubadour whose writings appear in over 300 journals on six continents, and 22 collections – including On Galápagos Shores (dancing girl press, 2019) and Chaco Dreams (Origami Poems Project, 2022). She also authors travel narratives, with works in the anthologies Drive: Women’s True Stories from the Open Road (Seal Press, 2002) and V!VA List Latin America (Viva Travel Guides, 2007),  as well as articles and guidebooks. Her writing has been honored by the Parliamentary Poet Laureate of Canada (2011) and thrice nominated for the Best of the Net. Caputo has done literary readings from Alaska to the Patagonia. She journeys through Latin America with her faithful knapsack Rocinante, listening to the voices of the pueblos and Earth.

Follow her adventures at www.facebook.com/lorrainecaputo.wanderer or http://latinamericawanderer.wordpress.com

Book Excerpt from Mary Beth O’Connor’s memoir From Junkie to Judge: One Woman’s Triumph Over Trauma and Addiction

CHAPTER 1
My First Shot


WHEN I GRADUATED from my New Jersey high school in 1979, I was an honor student and a junkie. I don’t mean I smoked a lot of weed or popped too many pills—I shot speed daily. Methamphetamine to
the chemist, crank in my hometown, crystal in modern terminology.


I hit a nerve in my right wrist as I injected before the ceremony. When the principal presented my diploma and shook my hand, I bit my lip to suppress the scream that surged from my belly to my throat.


Inside the leatherette cover, one note congratulated me for winning the most scholarship money, but another demanded repayment of sixty-two dollars from a candy sale, funds I had used to score a gram
of meth.


My classmates avoided eye contact when I staggered off the stage.
They giggled and prodded one another, excited to launch the next chapter in their lives. I slumped in the plastic chair, dread suffocating me as I contemplated flunking out of college. I almost failed last semester, skipping school so often, and UCLA’s gonna be so much harder.


Maybe I’ll get lucky and die of an overdose on a dorm floor. I snapped the folio shut. Jesus, is that my best option? How the fuck did I get here?

Ten months earlier, after snorting crank for three days, I had fallen into the turbulent sleep of an overdue crash. I clawed my way to consciousness, then focused on the clock radio’s fluorescent 7:08.

“Cindy,” I shouted toward my sister’s room. “Is it AM or PM?”

“Goddammit, I’m sleeping. Because it’s morning.”

I threw off the sheets, struggled to a sitting position, and waited for the dizziness to subside. As I stood, I planted my hand on the bed for balance. Trudging to my mirror, I examined the dark roots setting off my Nice ’n Easy blond hair. Smeared mascara framed bloodshot eyes above sunken cheeks. I held up my hand and watched it shake.

Shit! I look like that old drunk at the Silver Fox who spends her days chained to a barstool.

I shuffled to the refrigerator and grappled with the Pepsi tab before I collapsed on the sofa and lit a cigarette. Like every other morning, I snatched my purse from the Formica coffee table and dug for my drug kit. No crank. Just a few black beauties. Warm tears spurted down my cold face. It’s okay, it’s okay. You have the beauties.

Weaker than meth, but at least these pills delivered an amphetamine high. Should I break them open, discard the time-release ebony granules, and snort the powder for a more intense rush? My nostrils ached from overuse, so I swallowed two.

As I waited for the energy burst, I smacked my cheeks. Pull it together. You need meth. This early, Bubba’s your best bet. If you look trashed, he’ll send you home.

I spent the next hour constructing Mary Beth. Shower, blow out, hot rollers, another black beauty, frosted blue eye shadow, maroon shorts, and a breast-enhancing halter top. Scrutinizing my image again, I straightened my shoulders, tossed my hair, and practiced a laugh. Relief! A façade sufficient to hide the depths of my deterioration. I drove my brown ’73 Valiant to Bordentown’s four block city center.

High school dropout Bubba worked as a midlevel drug dealer. At twenty, he still lived with his parents in a narrow row house. I exchanged pleasantries with his mom as she spread her famous ham salad on Wonder Bread. “Help yourself to a sandwich if you get hungry later.”

Bubba beckoned me over and we walked a couple blocks to spend the day with Matt. His wife at work, the unemployed truck driver provided a safe haven in a tacit exchange for drugs. Proud of his chiseled body, Matt would use speed and then spend hours weight lifting.

As we approached the two-story brick apartment building, Bubba tugged at his loose pants. Naturally plump, too much crank and too little food had reduced his waistline. “Mary Beth, if I’m not careful, I’ll be crazy skinny like you.” “Hey, I put on a couple of pounds.” “Hmm, I’ve never seen a collarbone stick out like yours.”

Mary Beth O’Connor’s memoir From Junkie to Judge is available here.

This excerpt is from Mary Beth O’Connor’s new book, “From Junkie to Judge: One Woman’s Triumph Over Trauma and Addiction.” Reprinted with permission from Health Communications, Inc.

 

Mary Beth O’Connor has been sober since 1994. She has also been in recovery from abuse, trauma, and anxiety. Six years into her recovery, Mary Beth attended Berkeley Law. She worked at a large firm, then litigated class actions for the federal government. In 2014, she was appointed a federal administrative law judge, which position she held until 2020. Mary Beth is a director, secretary, and founding investor for She Recovers Foundation and a director for LifeRing Secular Recovery. She regularly speaks about multiple paths to recovery, to groups such as Women for Sobriety. Mary Beth’s op-ed, “I Beat Addiction Without God,” where she described combining ideas from several secular programs to create a robust recovery foundation, appeared in the Wall Street Journal.

Poetry from J.J. Campbell

Poet J.J. Campbell
violence in the air

 

cast your eyes

off into the

ocean

 

you can smell

destruction and

violence in the

air

 

there is no force

on earth quite

like mother

nature

 

no matter

whatever any

blowhard in

power tends

to believe

----------------------------------------------------

a lesson

 

i was

told to

think of

prayer

as talking

directly

to god

 

so

i guess

waiting

for those

prayers

to be

answered

is a lesson

in being

fucking

ignored

----------------------------------------------------

an appropriate goodbye

 

i used to always fear

that i would die while

masturbating to the

home shopping

network

 

now i wish it

would happen as

i think it would

be an appropriate

goodbye to this

world

----------------------------------------------------

this beautiful cruel mistress

 

asking questions

before it's too late

 

a hole in your new

pair of pantyhose

 

sliding into whatever

the fuck dm's are

anymore

 

you're not interested

in swiping

 

and aren't exactly sure

if this is something

you're interested in

 

participating in life

 

this beautiful cruel

mistress

 

a flip of the coin

 

hitting the jack

on the river

 

luck is only for

those willing

to lose

------------------------------------------------------

with their concern in mind

 

whispers in the neon

 

the prettiest girl in

the room is chatting

you up and everyone

is looking on with

disgust

 

the joy of not living

with their concern

in mind

 

it is a hard lesson

to learn

 

but once you do

 

it makes life so

much easier

to live

 

with no handcuffs

holding you back

---------------------------------------------------------

J.J. Campbell

51 Urban Ln.

Brookville, OH 45309-9277

jcampb4593@aol.com

https://evildelights.blogspot.com



https://goodreads.com/jjthepoet


J.J. Campbell (1976 – ?) is trapped in suburbia, wondering where all the lonely housewives went. He’s been widely published over the last 25 years, most recently at Horror Sleaze Trash, The Beatnik Cowboy, Jellyfish Whispers, The Rye Whiskey Review and Dumpster Fire Press. You can find him most days on his mildly entertaining blog, evil delights. (https://evildelights.blogspot.com)

Poetry from Damon Hubbs

Note: In 1840, Sir Thomas Browne’s skull was removed from the St. Peter Mancroft Church in Norwich when his coffin was “accidentally” disturbed by workmen. The skull wasn’t returned to lie with the rest of Browne’s earthly remains until 1922. In addition to writing “Religio Medici,” “Urne-Buriall,” and “Pseudodoxia Epidemica,” the 17th century physician and essayist is credited with coining dozens of words including medical, hallucination, electricity, exhaustion and coma.) 

From the Misadventures of Sir Thomas Browne’s Skull

#1: Medical

after testing magnetic fluid with apples

tongue tied with a string 

& knock      

     ing on the farmhouse 

floorboards 

in Hydesville, NY

the Fox sisters gnaw’d

the skull 

of Thomas Browne 

from seed husks of sunflower & Caledonian pine

communing a shadow image 

assembled like the worldly goods 

of a Dutch still life

14.7 cm wide 

right socket cribra orbitalia,

spermaceti wedged like a fennel bulb in the left 

& drip

     ping with the endless mutations 

of Nature.

#2: Hallucination 

her eyes mention sunsets, briefly 

but then she nods twice at the overcooked agave 

cankering my broad lace collar & breeches

“hole in your lip,” she says & I 

glance in the bar mirror at my skull

a festoon of beads & sequins, almonds

painted leaves & roses wreathed around 22 bones 

that come together like a puzzle, a calavera 

that upon closer inspection is missing a name

it could be me

or just another departed 

soul. 

#3: Electricity

I sd to the son 

of the candle & soap maker

“a tenuous emanation 

or continued effluvium

retracteth fire from the clouds”

whereupon the early capitalist 

stood in a field 

with a large handkerchief

waiting for Zeus

to jump from / the sky. 

#4: Exhaustion 

After 

a 48 year 

country ramble

I’m sitting at the Horn of Plenty 

in Whitechapel 

& I says, Jack

the body is open 

to contemplation. 

#5: Coma

doorknobs & doorjambs w/ hasps & hinges / 

yellow bananas launched on blue boats / telephone game /

the benefit of planting trees in latticelike formation / snowflakes 

slide softly soon / where is the square / 

doors and jabs w/ hooks & hikes / 

blueberries craunched on blue coats / broken telephone /

dead kingfishers do not make good weathervanes / Edinburgh / 

the skin of a snake bred out of the spinal marrow of man / 

Poetry from John Thomas Allen

The Moon Hosts

​​                                                                                      

                                                          Death is a vocation. 

                                              It has abandoned silos in the North.​   

​​                                           It is to these darkly born Areas we still travel, 

​​

​​                                                                   bent back as St. Sebastian in sin’s queasy light.  ​​   

​​       On bored nights, funeral trains circle us.​​

​​   

​​  The conductors stuff cats in their habits as penance, 

                                                                                                and by their wise blood Charon is humbled.

​​  By this delivery, Lazarus was brought to die

​​   

​​  finally and struggling, giving voice

​                to the final Word. Death wraps eager hands 

​​  with reptile skin. It protects its children. Still

​​    as sullied Hosts, crooked reeds bind 

                                                                                                   an ill choir, the darkness is disturbed and moons rise 

                                                                                                                          in the eyes of the weak and willing. 

​​    Death is not staid, he’s fast spreading, sudden

     as wildfire on a derelict’s blanket.

​​    Death’s a ministry and the prayer books 

​​    it distributes are filled with dark braille, 

​​    a kind that could cure blindness 

                       but can’t be seen for very long.

John Thomas Allen is a 39-year-old poet and hopes to one day camp out in the Poe Museum in Baltimore. He likes hopes the political atmosphere in the US thins out, and that experimental poetry will continue on no matter what happens. 

Poetry from Chimezie Ihekuna

Chimezie Ihekuna (Mr. Ben) Young Black man in a collared shirt and jeans resting his head on his hand. He's standing outside a building under an overhang.
Chimezie Ihekuna
The Tri-angles of Christmas wishes 
(From me, them and you (to yourself)
IF: I wish all the best in this Christmas for you,

They wish all that Christmas can best offer you,
then, it will not be out of place to say this to yourself: 
‘’I wish me all the best Christmas can offer’’
These are the simple Tri-angle of Christmas wishes