BOUNTY BOB
“Bounty Bob”
wuz wun really good pig hunter.
He wuz humble too
but he wuz wun man’s man
tough and determined in da bush.
Everybody knew
who da king of da mountain wuz.
Bob took it all in stride
and he wuz always cool.
He went aftah da big male boars
out deah in da rain forest.
Dat wuz plenty of meat
to trow into wun freezer
foa family and friends.
Da whole hunting experience
wuz also wun spiritual trip to Bob
and he usually came back
wit wun good catch foa his kitchen table.
Dats why everybody
called him “Bounty Bob.”
Wen he wen pull
into wun gas station
wit da latest big boar
in da back of his pickup truck
wun nearby tourist in wun rented car
wuz all excited
and she just had to take wun picture.
She went up to Bob
by da gas pump and told him
dat she could send him wun copy of da photo
if he wanted one.
Da reply wuz classic—
“No need wun picture.
I not into dat.
I already know
wat da buggah look like.”
“Bounty Bob”
hunter extraordinaire.
He gets his game on all levels.
DA MAINSTAY OF MY WATEVAH
You may tink I’m quirky
odd or even strangely different
but labels are just sticky tabs
stuck on da surface of tings.
It doesn’t mattah
if I like to mix pieces of beef jerky
into my oatmeal
or sleep in da nude
wearing wun pair of polka dot socks
cause your critical opinion
no mean nutting to me.
I’m not heah
to be one of your perfect squares
to be placed in wun perfect row
as you look to arrange
da world as you see it.
If you feel uncomfortable
and I seem to be
wun burr in your undahwear
dats just too bad foa you.
Da choices dat I make
going be da mainstay of my watevah
and happily for me
I really could care less if you disagree.