nerve damage
 
i can feel the nerve
damage in my middle
finger
 
i guess the knife
went deep enough
 
part of me knows
that many people
are chuckling
 
knowing they wanted
the knife to go deeper
 
all i can preach
is patience
 
your day will be here
before you know it
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
fogs up my glasses
 
another morning in
some medical center
 
scribbling poems in
the waiting room as
my mask fogs up
my glasses
 
i doubt the pandemic
ever ends and i'm sure
this will be my life
until my mother dies
 
not much of a life
by the usual standards
 
but i do what i can
with what i have
 
i can't say the same
for everyone else
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
a little less gentle
 
soft black skin
connecting the
tubes
 
explaining this is
going to hurt a little
 
i chuckle and explain
my high pain tolerance,
hoping she knows to be
a little less gentle
 
she starts the procedure
and i imagine her naked
 
i believe she noticed
 
or that was my imagination
having her lick her lips and
start to open her sweater up
for a better view
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
laughing at the hard times
 
i learned a long time ago
that laughing at the hard
times will take you much
farther than the endless
misery of complaining
 
now, my laughter has
turned more to sarcasm
as i have grown older
 
the joys of becoming
an old cynical fuck
 
it does have some perks
 
no one tends to fuck
with you
 
or bother to talk to you
 
or most days, if you can
get so lucky, they will
forget you exist
 
talk about a good day
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
make me find the joy
 
contemplating
suicide again
 
it always comes
up around the
holidays
 
there's an angel
out there that
hopes to cure
me
 
make me find
the joy
 
i applaud and
admire her effort
 
but she's old
enough to know
 
there is no escaping
certain tragedies

J.J. Campbell (1976 – ?) is old enough to know better. He’s been widely published over the years, most recently at Beatnik Cowboy, Terror House, Horror Sleaze Trash, The Rye Whiskey Review and Mad Swirl. You can find him most days on his mildly entertaining blog, evil delights. (https://evildelights.blogspot.com)