MISFORTUNES OF WAR
Iran? A war? Nor really. Just a feud–
with bombs and Ayatollah dead. Not much
compared with Vietnam’s unending conflict,
thousands dead. Just 18? Small potatoes.
RIP: Private Isabella Gonzalos
First Lieutenant Tyler James Feehan
Captain Cody A. Khork
Sergeant First Class Noah L. Tiejens
That draft dodger is now Commander in Chief.
The Strait of Hormuz? Closed. No sign of peace.
Gas prices rise and rise. But don’t lose heart–
testosterone will make our army great!
RIP: Sergeant First Class Nicole M. Amor
Major Jeffrey O’Bien
Chief Warrant Officer Robert Marzan
Major John Alex Klinner
Old Bone-Spurs wants to build a golden ballroom,
a grand Versailles to crown this fool a king.
His copycat Triumphal Arch will dwarf
all D.C. monuments– shout, “Me, Me, Me!”
RIP: Captain Arianna Savino
Technical Sergeant Ashley Pruitt
Captain Seth Koval
So—18 killed so far in this non-war?
He much prefers big numbers, cheering throngs
of cultish minions. Started this doomed war
to take attention off the Epstein Files.
RIP: Captain Curtis Angst
Master Sergeant Angel S. Rampersad
Sergeant Emmanuel Swinton
The pointless war drags on. No end in sight.
His polls are sinking. Grocery prices rise.
Reflecting Pool reflects incompetence.
Poor soldiers’ bodies maimed by acts of war.
RIP: Sergeant Benjamin L. Pennington
Sergeant Declan J. Coady
Commander Gabriel Edwards
Master Sergeant Tyler Simmons
He texts he’ll bomb Iran back to the Stone Age.
Demands peace talks—then fires on hapless towns.
Instead of leaders—photogenic clowns.
Day after day this war kills trust and hope.
Copyright 9/2026 Paricia Doyne