To the Tune of Several Hundred Pages of Mandatory Reading which Must Be Done in an Impossibly Small Amount of Time        


G! 
What? 
Whoops where the hell in the where the hell am I is this?
I don’t know I don’t know I
Simply and simple just I—I don’t know—it’s—so cold hard and cold why are my eyes closed I never closed them I don’t think but so open and then—no no open them and—then no not this no . ‘o . . ‘n’ . . . .  ‘‘o’’ . . . . . . . . ‘’’’n’’’’ . . . ‘ . ‘’ . . ‘’’’ . . . . . . . . ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  . . so you see that’s why it had to be done the way it was done. Any other way, which, we will grant you, would have provided more precision, would have quadrupled the time needed to be ready to do the count. For doing the count is more important than the count being perfectly accurate—which could never be achieved, no matter the amount of time and care taken. See—here is how these people operate. Give them something to do with absolutely no explanation of how to do it. Just—do this and do that and this that and put it aside and go to the next one. And will they protest? Some maybe—but most not. Because the way we’re going to tell them what to do can’t be too simple. Too simple, and they’ll see right through we’re telling them nothing. Just handing them this big sloppy bag of gas which by the time they get to work at all will be limp-hung down empty and—they will see, and they will know. Then they’ll come back. And we’ll have to admit. That we have told them nothing, not because we’re holding back, but because we have no idea how to do it ourselves. So we got to wrap words and if that then do this and is thus then do that ‘round this gasbag. To the tune of several hundred pages of mandatory reading which must be done in an impossibly small amount of time. There will be some {and these we don’t want} who will see this all as an insane fiasco of make-work ‘cause we got no real work to give you right now kind of make-work, but. There’s another kind of breed which is the kind most in this herd are. It’s the kind that always feels a little bit too stupid. A little bit unsure of themselves no matter what they’re doing. A little bit unqualified to do anything they end up doing, but—never able to say I don’t get it or help me out here or I don’t get this. I got to stop. I just can’t do it because they fear being exposed as idiots or phonies or liars {as in—what the hell you mean you don’t know how to do this job? We hired you ‘cause you said you could do it; that you’ve done it in other places, and at other times, before; what; were you lying to us? [no I was not it’s just that ah ah] Oh? Why the hell did you lie to us then…} or another of the many other variations on this theme {such as—what do you mean you don’t know what to do here? Time was spent in training you to do each and every possible thing you’d ever be made to do on this job, and you said you were ready [oh I know I said that but its just this part here I don’t] why did you lie and say you were ready when you knew you weren’t ready [no no I did not lie it’s just this part here it’s] oh yes you knew here’s the proof here you are not at all ready [but hold it no no I am ready it’s just th’] hey look everybody! hundred faces turn all a’smile here’s another liar who lied that they were ready when they weren’t [no no that’s not true] hey ha look and see them all laughing at you sucka’ hundreds of mouths eyes and faces all laughing yah that’s right sucka’ yes you lied sucka’ that you were good enough sucka’ yes you lied and you lied and look HEY EVERYBODY LOOK AT THE LYING SUCKA’ laughing and laughing and laughing and here's the LYING SUCKA’ laughing pointing the LYING SUCKA’ LYING SUCKA’ LYING SUCKA’ pointing laughing the LIE and the LIE laughing pointing} and like that so you see that’s the last thing they want to see happen to them, so, that type will dig in [!]—that type will—get ‘er done[!!} 
Yes get ‘er done, Smitty!
That type will get ‘er done!
Party!
Party!
Party!
Wonderful!
[air pillo air pillo air pillo air]
[spit]