this fleeting moment of life
 
lucid dreams
 
swimming and
suddenly drowning
in a river of doubt
 
this fleeting moment
of life
 
drifting on a lonely
coast
 
wishing for the only
love that ever understood
the pain
 
the unknown tapping you
on the shoulder and making
you pull the trigger
 
wake up in a cold sweat
alone yet again
 
you can never escape
your demons if you
never go anywhere
 
logic does nothing
for a soul trapped
in its own hell
 
there is only one way out
 
and we all understand
that is why the shotgun
is still in the corner
 
eventually,
everyone
gives in
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
to get to the creamy center
 
she slid down her panties with
ease, eager to receive her gift
 
i chuckled, hoping she wouldn't
be disappointed
 
i'm white after all
 
and i'm sure she's been with
some black guys that would
put me to shame
 
she laughed, grabbed me
by the back of my neck
and thrusted me into
her ass
 
i found out how many licks
it took to get to the creamy
center
 
we spent the afternoon
sweaty and sticky
 
i lit a cigarette and put on
some coltrane
 
watched her walk naked
around the house and then
climb back into bed
 
we laughed and chatted
for hours
 
drank a little scotch
 
and a little kissing quickly
escalated into round two
 
not bad for an old man
who can barely remember

what life was like at her age
----------------------------------------------------------------
all the decay from your soul
 
embrace the pain
like a purple light
breaking the night
sky
 
a burning neon
ripping all the
decay from
your soul
 
like an old lover
that would take
you right to the
edge of losing
your mind and
then take a breath
 
that sultry air lingers
in your mind to this
day
 
grab it by the throat
and squeeze the marrow
out of this existence
 
the broken souls
 
cracked windows
 
fields barren for years
 
a playground of junkies
waiting for the man
 
there is still time to
find the bent spoons

and a good vein
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
hundreds of miles away now
 
i still think about
holding you in
my arms as we
used to listen to
old records in the
afternoons after
school
 
over twenty years
ago
 
and i can still
remember how
you tasted
 
how the perfume
on your neck would
drive me crazy
 
you have moved
on
 
hundreds of miles
away now
 
i'm a lonely soul
writing these cries
for help
 
wondering if anyone
actually reads anymore
 
i want to live in
a world where love
is still possible
 
i wonder each day
if i should be saving
my money for a

trip to mars
--------------------------------------------------------------------
the sound advice from the elders
 
i'm one of those assholes
that never learned his lessons
 
never stored away the sound
advice from the elders
 
i had a homeless guy tell me
over stolen cigarettes to never
fuck younger women
 
the pussy is great but you don't
need the problems and the drama
 
and there i was today fucking
a younger woman, amazed at
my luck
 
only to be at odds less than
thirty minutes later, knives drawn
 
how the fuck can you share
something so intimate and
then be the king of the
assholes minutes later
 
and my ego isn't strong enough
to not think i did something
fucking wrong
 
as always, i have to be the problem
 
forty-five years into life
and nothing fucking changes
rinse and repeat
 
she had the kind of body that
i will take to my grave smiling
 
no one ever said you wouldn't

get dirty along the way