She phrases it so violently, “I love you,” just like a large moose fighting for dominance of a bog that has food, enough for the winter. She pierces the eardrum with her scream, keeping the eyes direct onto my chest, hoping for the hairs to draw up and burst on fire. But alas they don’t, and she grieves for her inexplicable loss of the battle of wits. Her timely burst brought upon me a segment of fear, brought by the words of intimacy, but so stated with anger and disappointment. I know my love for her has been erratic, and she certainly deserves more, but going insane is not the solution I try to say. I bring this to her attention with the utmost care and concern, but she yells intimate phrases of jubilation between kicks and wails of fist throwing. I cry for her. And she jumps off the deep-end by flipping me off and complaining about nothing, I follow her masterpiece of craziness landing another head jarring scream off the top of her lungs, just saying, “I love you.”
I perched on a tilting café stool next to my fiancé, trying not to taste the greasy McChicken sandwich I washed down with a bitter double espresso chaser. We were dismayed that McFood was the finest culinary experience the St. Charles train station had to offer. In the foreground, sleek bullet trains bound for Paris screeched in, loaded up with sun-kissed Mediterranean vacationers, and zipped away from Quais E, F, and G. Assuming our train would leave from one of these tracks, we settled in.
As I tuned out rapid-fire French spoken at adjacent tables and broadcast over the intercom, I overheard a language that carried me home. The slow-moving dialogue was peppered with wide open vowels and harsh R’s, the consonants of Des Moines, Boise, and Wichita. My eavesdropping tendencies kicked in; I became a stealth voyeur, comforted by an oasis of familiar auditory cues.
A twenty-something American couple with backpacks and roll-away luggage in tow, was also awaiting a train over delicate white espresso cups. She was pale with dark wavy hair framing her baby face. A scarlet-colored Euro-tied scarf draped around her neck. He was part punk rocker, part frat boy with cropped hair, blue jeans and a black sweatshirt. Upon closer inspection, I discovered a baby stroller among their sea of luggage. They had started early, determined that their bundle of joy would fall in love France as they had.
Life is Breathed Into a Hotel Room
The hotel room is large & the walls are covered with peeling white & blue pinstripe wallpaper; it is desperately clinging on. The side table is littered with miniature alcohol bottles, scraps of paper, a pack of cigarettes & a lighter.
She’s sitting on the bed, bottom-less with a black bra, casually taking drags from a cigarette.
Her legs are modestly crossed with her opposite hand between them, in a nonsexual way. Her back is to the large window with the beige curtains drawn back. The room is faintly lit with most of the light casually bleeding in from the outside world. The living, breathing city down below more than six feet beneath our feet. All warm bodies coming & going, each with their own existence.
Miniature clouds veil her painted red fingernails for seconds before dissipating. Making this moment in time as fickle & elusive as the smog billowing from the mouth of a smoke stack. It curls and dances in the air before melting into nothing.
I’m sitting across the room in an uncomfortable chair, also bottom-less with my legs crossed. I don’t know how long we’ve been sitting here like this. I’ve been using the ashtray as a makeshift timepiece; it’s almost full. I think it’s past midnight.
They steamed mid-morning into the outer reaches of Singapore harbour having circumvented, where possible, the fleets of pair trawlers and gill netters and fish trawlers working from the shelf right up to the Port of Singapore Harbour port limits and with the ocean made from glass and gods’ own face shining down on them they formed up to a flotilla of green of squat modern prawn boats. They co-ordinated manoeuvres on Ultra-High-Frequency scramblers on company channels and High-Frequency sets are tuned as one to Radio-rock-n-roll-Singapore,Numbah-One-Pirate Radio:
Rolling Stones; ‘Loving Cup’
Gunners; ‘Sweet Child Of Mine’
Ramones; ‘I Wanna Be Sedated’
AC\DC; ‘Givin’ The Dog A Bone’
-The UHF dials in like a phone to scramble with an electronic squawk-
‘You get me on this one there Noddy?’
‘No Moose……..you can’t call me that now; I’m an ocean going master. Back 2 U’