Dream states, meditation, closing your eyes – all darkness. The child in the womb, the stars, the vast universe – all in darkness. Seeds planted in the ground – in darkness. Darkness is the breeding ground for all life. Who taught you to fear it? — social media wisdom
In this month’s issue, Patricia Doyne urges us to drop-kick 2020 to the curb. As she mentions in her second piece, illness and death from the global pandemic, along with ruptures caused by underlying social inequities, played a large role in the past year.
Dan Raphael starts his meditative pieces with ordinary life – weather, food, hikes, the calendar – and goes deeper through steady thought. Ferris Jones’ poems convey the fluid nature of many of our childhood memories and the different ways our mind can perceive time and space.
Norman J. Olson reflects on decades of his own personal history, following many Americans of his generation from the ‘farm to the city to the suburbs.’
Mahbub and John Culp both turn to nature to find reminders of renewal. Butterflies in early spring and a lemon tree in winter suggest to Mahbub that he can, as John Culp affirms, find strength through letting go and accepting the natural passage of seasons.
Mark Young’s poems speak to us of delicate moments, little interruptions, while Hongri Yuan’s writing, translated from Mandarin into English by Manu Mangattu, celebrates instances of spiritual transcendence.
We invite you to reach for moments of that nature as you read this month’s issue, and we hope that you find grace and inspiration even in these global circumstances.
i understood early. life is strange for anybody. i didn’t realize my nursery school companions didn’t comprehend. i watched the coffee table walk on its four limbs. i stared at its stability. not a single dip of my father’s beer had overflowed. while it roamed, its supremacy overcame me. Intelligence to each stride. he appreciated where he was going. i craved to be that way.
it’s conscious. everything. nothing ever dies. it becomes foodstuff for the universe. dinner is prompt. we should embrace. treat well. my world, heavier than most. what did i know? i was five years old. what was real? mommy carried me, settled me. the world turned. i could perceive now. it was as absolute as that.
sweet boy
don’t weep. we won’t surrender you on this dilapidated dance floor. we will reconstruct it into a sky that will not squirm. its guardian will be of your crop. we will be the spirits that will yield blood for your tranquility. our minds will accept this pandemic and sections will disappear. nobody will realize how great they should have remained. a parachute will break your loss. go on, little one, conceive those daydreams. the earth cluttered with our remains will attend over you. no mischief will appear to you.
we will draw up arms and overthrow the pagan vampire that is autocracy. its assault will be but fables, flying before the years develop. the hijacker will expire in shackles, millions will lament, rifles will blow, capitals will ignite. airborne joy will torrent the invasion.
i will stand my history in your palms, be delicate with the mass, golden stars will be on your screens. read the message, behold the ground, envelop the tombstones. the karats are the weight, controlled by the painting of your forthcoming. i will stare on to you and your triumph, sweet boy. we will not let you, nor will we dig the tunnels.
past lives
my judgement opens from space. islands inhabit this elegant territory. true, as if planted by god’s palm. it’s rests nowhere else. lives and eye’s, roamed here for centuries. expired here. bones are in divine locations, not discovered. rafts of bamboo carried these waters. sculptures of the heroic warrior’s in the star’s highway at night. they understood time.
i’ve been there. reached from the sky and set on the water. an elegant craft. wealth. but when? i recognize i fell through the crystal water. taken part with the roads of the sand. the moon generates arrangements sustained beyond many deaths. was I one of them?
Most years January doesn’t have to do much—its reputation’s enough, every day
in the 30s, rain with 20 mile wind from whatever direction you’re walking;
sometimes the rain polymers branches, cars and streets in cold hard transparency,
soaked soil and juggernaut wind bringing down trees and lines, increasing the darkness
that should be diminishing: the suns been up for hours but January wont let it out,
Jan doesn’t look at us at all, knows what we’re waiting for, so becomes 2 weeks longer— February won’t mind, having been the shortest all its life knows what complaining brings,
its only reward an extra day every 4 years like a gold star that won’t stick to its forehead, February’s that long car ride, soon as it begins we’re asking is it March yet.
March marches, mars the god of war showing off its new but familiar uniforms
this month of sideways rain, month of flowers teased into blossoming then frosted brown
by northern winds tromping the calendar line claiming winter’s over
March has no idea how April got here or who let it in, April so caught
in its fashionable reflection. intoxicated by its own promise,
it seldom looks outside—why are you complaining, it’s April—
put on your shorts, dust off your bike and celebrate your way to a terrible cold.
The Universe Started in a Kitchen
Warm bread, cold coffee, basil rain
a medium rare minute
my autobiographical menu
dreams with food around but i can’t get any
Boil before you mash
wash but don’t peel
3 minutes per side
don’t measure, weigh
follow the pilot light
A kitchen off the grid
different sizes of spatulas, flippers, wood & metal spoons
3 knives
great grandma’s cast iron pan
this fork grew an extra tine
Eating steak without utensils
my molars aren’t what they used to be
Red means go, when it’s a tomato
someone tall & thin as a cornstalk
7 bees swim in an artichoke flower
some crops don’t want to be eaten
the only thing that grows in my kitchen is the stack of dishes and pots to wash
a stove you can take to any room, any where
Times my stomach rumbles for no reason
if i’m eating, it’s mealtime
wish the fridge and fruit bowl could refill themselves
so when I put a bed in here, i might never leave
Under Cloud Cover
a mani-permeable membrane
four way street, traffic circle sprouting sinuous
combination window mirror camera and screen
as if I’m one
sometimes particle, sometimes wave
for the tiniest increment timeless
one blade in miles of grasses
between breaths, among heartbeats
my roots go everywhere
no reason to taste me
don’t know what I’ve been holding back til I let it go
like that sleepless, walletless hitchhike across the country
how long it took to convince myself I could sleep now
or the second trail day in Nepal, got lost,
take 20 steps, catch my breath, take 20 steps, sit or lean
resilience recovery resignation reignite
in my current flame of mind
in several keys, several languages, not all of them
voiced or heard, no harmony without absence
muscle rippling bone, pushing while pulling away
how hugs become subcutaneous
each pore can breathe, each hair
can transmit and receive
sun slices through clouds
won’t let my hands touch its light
more motion than heat
places where clouds are illegal but not hard to get a little
places the sun shines through the earth ‘round midnight
Of the Land
How are my territories divided: the physical, the emotional,
the only borders are my clothes, cat scans looking for
quick passage, hidden benefits, mazes of intestines and nerves
the river going through me can be dammed or polluted upstream
Weather grants no suffrage but always provides consequence
seasonal conundrums, the powers of habit and accumulation
but not what I was saving for which comes when
there’s no longer room or company
How to find a balance point with so many fingers on the scales
the momentum of intent, the inertia of comfort, inherent randomness
when supply demands, an idea made flesh, knowing when to shrink
or vanish, a door locked before i could learn the combination
What lets in wind but not light, a skull so tight not even
whispers can get through, an untranslatable past
becoming smithereens of the future, as it takes a thousand arms
to keep all of a life’s moments aloft, a fluid index,
when what seems chaos are the many ways to tell the same story
as plots cross-breed, as characters become their speeches,
costumes gleaned from the effluvia of closets
When we ran on all fours and kept gaining weight
so nothing could carry us away, earning the choice
to stay out of the rain, be close to a fire
what often happens around now, at this age,
what remains a mystery since no one’s seen it before
the country trying to grow inside me must be cut our or dispelled
Born Under a Vague Sign
particular matter vague concerns open seasoning
we need wind to mask the freeway noise
windows to keep out what the wind is carrying
how far this dust has come, a slow migration.
local rebels, taking a chance—you don’t know where that wind’s been
when the wind and rain boycott us, meteorological distancing
the masked sky diffusing the sun
adjusting the dimmer for 12-14 hours of equal gray
every time the electricity hiccups all the clocks turn to midnight or noon
shadows growing from the streets and yards
smoke trees street trees family trees triage
when the windows go blank
when there’s nothing beyond my yard
since the sky’s so vacant the thunder must be manmade, ground pounding
pits and spumes of dust as if slow rain but no rain—
earth burps soil yeast foundations too unsettled to not squirm
can we just jump from 6 o’clock to 9, from downtown to road free
rotate this valley 90 degrees to change its relation to everything
the rain’s never lost cause it doesn’t care where it’s going
clouds throwing off water like we do cigarette butts and burger wrappers
as if we wait til sunrise to start and stop soon as dark reaches our ankles
as a compass is not a clock of space, gps is just numbers
and you know how stable they are, how easily 8 becomes three,
take the 1 from 10, when it’s easier to count the commas than the places
even temperature speaks multiple languages and never asks us
for a reference or limit, skin wants its own arithmetic
add, divide or multiply, things get so confuddled
even gravity’s misoriented, light slows to get a better look
after decades of steady friction blood escapes, nerves stop receiving
and only transmit, wirelessly, enough pain or joy at times
to reach a satellite and either bounce or tread
into the emotional vacuum, the place so many causes and effects
hide each other. as if the sun is all we got, as if the moon is content
Born and raised in Calgary, Tyler grew up with the care of his loving single mother, Grace. Having to raise the wheelchair-bound Tyler for over fourteen years was difficult for Grace, who had two jobs-teaching and factory work. Despite the challenge, she gave her son the best of love and care. Since birth, Grace made it a number one priority to be there for her son, regardless of how busy she was with her job.
Tyler always did well in school. He wasn’t the dull type. His intelligence attracted his classmates to him, even though he was fun to be with only once in a blue moon. His peers, both boys and girls in his class, liked him. But he felt incomplete since he was in a wheelchair. His unhappy mood drove people away. But this attracted the attention of his class teacher; he would do his very best to instill in him what he deserved-happiness. However, this would be short-lived as home for Tyler meant being attended to by his mom but pushed aside by his neighbors. His mom’s efforts to make him fit in with everyone didn’t work. As Tyler grew older, his confidence and natural exuberance dwindled when he realized he wasn’t able to do what able-bodied juveniles were doing. This affected his relationship with his peers, especially the female ones. But someone, who, from childhood, had always accepted Tyler the way he had been, was…Thomas.
It was during his senior years at Calgary Secondary School Tyler saw the need to fall in love…with the opposite sex. Although Thomas would prove useful to him in a way, his predicament wouldn’t help matters! Tyler looked forward to the time in his life when the right woman would love him for who he is, accept his physical predicament, be in a serious relationship with him and possibly walk down the aisle with him. But the more Tyler searched for her, the more she kept eluding him!
Love: Long Lost But Now Found…The Background
From one girl to the other, Paul had experienced sexual pleasure for years by taking advantage of a whole host of women. Paul walked away from any consequences or relationships and ended up unharmed because of his influence! ‘Identifying’ with women at the tender age of twelve, Paul had been in fruitless relationships with twelve ladies before he met Tania at twenty one; Maureen, Cynthia, Antonia, Linda, Danielle, Katherine, Edwina, Knowles, Twain, Sharon and Faith. He had a free ride with them until he met Tania…
Tania was the only girl with whom Paul had an actual relationship. It was after three years of enduring the pains he inflicted that Tania called it quits with him. Paul looked forward to talking with Andrew, his good friend of seven years, about his fall-out Tania. But Paul was in for a big surprise…a surprise that would bring about this: “Love: Long Lost but now found!”
A Vow
I wonder what you're doing
now it's 2 AM and I can't
sleep I've rumpled the sheets
with worry the shape of me
and you are you dreaming
now it's 2 AM of the day past
or days distantly hurts that stayed
with you are you sweating
or motionless are you breathing
through your nose or mouth
would you know if I were with you
would you sense me
the way a cat feels
a presence from another world
I'll put a pot of coffee on the stove
and wear my one piece pajamas
and walk on the wooden floors
maybe look out the windows
at the different views
and the lights staccato
watch the sky lightening
the appearance of the trees
and tomorrow
When the angel wings conduct you to the Kingdom of Heaven
Ah! That sweet lightning will indeed make you forget the world.
当天使的翅翼驮来了天国
摘一颗星辰在夜空之上
让它在你的头颅里歌唱
它将带给你星际的乐曲
让你的目光抵达 末来的银河之城
地球只是一枚小小的石头
昨日只是一只蝴蝶
当天使的翅翼驮来了天国
哦 那甜蜜的闪电让你把世界遗忘
Home Sweet Home beyond Milky Way
Nestled in the wings of night
After the pearl gem sets in heaven
I climb to the roof of the earth
To gaze at the star.
Gazing at the star,
To witness the coming century, the city of the giant
Blossom like a silver Garden.
The Music from that mysterious Galaxy
Soothes my soul like the rain.
In the light, let my form alight
Back to my home, beyond the Milky Way.
2015.9.9
银河之外的家园
黑夜的翅翼
镶嵌了天堂的珍珠宝石
我在地球的屋顶之上
向星际凝望
仿佛看见未来世纪的巨城
绽放如白银的花园
来自神秘星系的乐曲
是一阵阵灵魂的甘雨
让我的身体乘光而行
回到了那银河之外的家园
Day and Night in Kingdom of Heaven
Last night, gazing at the stars
I saw those countless gems smile
Numberless from my past life
Limitless in the silver kingdom
Sprang from the light of thought
Forging ahead to superluminal chi
Five hundred years later, or, may I say
After a thousand five hundred years of the world
I saw a giant of a spacecraft
The eyes of those men and women
Were tranquil, serene as a diamond
Then I knew, once and forever: On the new planet,
In the Kingdom of Heaven, there is neither day nor night.
2016.2.8
没有昼夜的天国
昨夜仰望星空
我看见无数个笑容
无数个我的前世
无数个白银的王国
思想的光芒
以超光速驰来
我看见了五百年后
一千五百年后的世界
我看见乘坐飞船的巨人
男男女女的眼睛
宁静的钻石
新的星球之上
没有昼夜的天国
2016.2.8
Distant Heaven
Often I have a foretaste of the future city of the giant.
The young giants in platinum Villas
The young giants in and out of the great mansion in platinum
And I’m one of them
In the body the sacred flame burns
On the head flickers the signs of zodiac
And the Diamond eyes glimpse the distant kingdom of heaven!
2015.12.28
遥远的天国
我常常看见那未来的巨人之城
那年轻的巨人们 进出于白金巨厦
而我是他们其中的一位
身体里燃烧神圣的火焰
头颅里闪烁巨多的星座
钻石般的目光仿佛看见遥远的天国
Bio: Yuan Hongri (born 1962) is a renowned Chinese mystic, poet, and philosopher. His work has been published in the UK, USA, India, New Zealand, Canada, and Nigeria; his poems have appeared in Poet’s Espresso Review, Orbis, Tipton Poetry Journal, Harbinger Asylum, The Stray Branch, Acumen, Pinyon Review, Taj Mahal Review, Madswirl, Shot Glass Journal, Amethyst Review, The Poetry Village, and other e-zines, anthologies, and journals. His best known works are Platinum City and Golden Giant. His works explore themes of prehistoric and future civilization.
Poet Hongri Yuan
About the Translator
Manu Mangattu is an English Professor, poet, editor, director and rank-holder. He has published 7 books, 73 research articles and 36 conference papers apart from 14 edited volumes with ISBN. He serves as chief editor/editor for various international journals. He has done UGC funded projects and a SWAYAM-MOOC course (Rs 15 lakhs). Besides translations from Chinese and Sanskrit, he writes poetry in English as well as in Indian languages. He was named “Comrade to Poetry China” in 2016. A visiting faculty at various universities and a quintessential bohemian-vagabond, he conducts poetry readings, workshops and lectures when inspired. After an apprenticeship in Shakespeare under Dr. Stephen Greenblatt, he currently guides 23 research scholars and mentors NET English aspirants.
one deadly hoax
whispers turn
to screams as
the number of
dead start to
rise
this sure is one
deadly hoax
it's amazing
to think such
incompetence
still exists in
this day and
age
------------------------------------------------------------------------
parading around as a man
purple daydreams
the coughing lady
will kill us all
just another child
parading around
as a man
thank god she
had an abortion
any child of yours
would destroy
society as we
know it
another sunset alone
destiny is a dancer
that teases her big
ass in your face for
a few extra dollars
if you're lucky
she'll slip off her
mask and lick you
you don't want to
know where that
tongue has been
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
from the inside out
remember the crazy ones
the ones that would call
at four in the morning
because the world was
burning from the inside
out
the ones that would get
you so hard you had to
let go on the side of the
road
the ones that would ask
for a little dirty talk right
before the meeting with
her boss
the ones that told you
you aren't special
you have no talent
you will be as worthless
as your father
that your death will be
as meaningless as your
life
the ones that loved you
only to change their minds
the ones that stole from you
owe you money to this day
the ones that never bothered
to remember if you still exist
----------------------------------------------------------------------
the day before thanksgiving
the experts
say we might
get some snow
the day before
thanksgiving
given the
pandemic
and how
easily it
spreads
a little havoc
on what is
usually the
busiest travel
day of the year
is probably a
good thing
---------------------------------------------------------------------
checkout lane eleven
this fine as fuck
black woman was
working checkout
lane eleven at the
grocery store today
i wasn't like these
other lazy white
fucks,
i helped her and
bagged my own
groceries
she thanked me
over and over
for doing so
i laughed and
said not all of
us are evil
i'd like to think
she was smiling
under her mask
she doesn't want
to know what i
was doing under
mine
