First, some announcements before our first May issue, Paradoxical Understandings.

Poetry submissions to North of Oxford’s Streur Anthology are now open!

North of Oxford would like to pay tribute to the late Russell Streur, poet and publisher of The Camel Saloon and The Plum Tree Tavern with an online anthology dedicated to Nature. Send us your poems of Nature, of floral and fauna, of forests and trees, of rivers, creeks and streams. Of farms, of urban nature, of parks and sanctuaries, of oceans and bays, of islands, of all things, Nature.

Send one to three poems for consideration of publication to North of Oxford at sahmsguarnieriandreutter@gmail.com  Subject line of submission: Streur Anthology. Submissions will be accepted until 5/31/25. Only submissions attached as word doc will be reviewed. Please include a 100-word bio within the word doc.

https://northofoxford.wordpress.com/2025/04/13/streur-nature-anthology-submissions/

Announcement from Jacques Fleury:
 “You Are Enough: The Journey to Accepting Your Authentic Self”  is being featured on the Boston Public Library website for Haitian American Heritage Month in May!

Eva Petropolou Lianou shares a short film inspired by NASA’s inclusion of her poetry in a capsule launched to the moon.

Synopsis
On 26th February 2025 NASA launched a capsule with poems to the moon, one of them was the anti-war poem “Happy Birthday”. Written by Eva Lianou Petropoulou, Directed & Animated by Zina Papadopoulou, Music & Sound by Grigoris Grigoropoulos

Lunar codex, Athena, Minerva Excelsior, The Vagabond Anthology, edited by Mark Lipman, dedicated to the Palestinian poet Ahmed Miqdad

Also, our contributor Brian Barbeito’s new book has just come out, When I Hear the Night. This is a prose poem and landscape photography book. Included with the words and pictures are two literary and dynamic introductory essays, one by poet and editor Jude Goodwin, and another by the writer and editor Mary Buchanan Sellers, figures current and thus well-informed in the field. There are also author notes and question-and-answer sections. The writings can be said to have interesting elements of memoir, essay, belle-lettres, poetry, and short story forms. Their content often includes the mystic and inner vision of the author coupled with the outside world of nature walking and travel.

When I Hear the Night can be ordered here.

Now, for May 2025’s first issue: Paradoxical Understandings. In this issue, we explore various perspectives and vantage points, how multiple things can be true at once in our complex universe.

To begin, poet Yang Yujun interviews Sudhakar Gaidhani about the inspirations behind his epic poetic work Devdoot the Angel, which promotes wisdom and unity among the world’s diverse groups of people and philosophies.

On a more personal level, Peter Cherches writes of understandings and misunderstandings, how much we can come to know or forget about those closest to us. Aziza Xazanova urges human understanding through avoiding assumptions and listening with empathy. Daniel De Culla relates a story where a person in trouble simply seeks a listening ear, not rescue.

One way people can understand each other better is by learning each other’s languages. Several contributors discuss pedagogical methods for language teaching.

Malika Abdusamadovna writes about translation techniques, the importance of clarity in a teacher’s speech, principles of word division in various European languages, and ways to teach speech activity. Gafurova Mahbuba discusses complex sentence structure, digital game metrics as teaching tools, and practical and theoretical approaches to translation. Oblaqulova Gulshoda examines and compares the implied meanings of Uzbek and Japanese idioms.

Abdullajonova Rayhona outlines methods of translation practice, how to teach speech activities, principles for the categorization of words, and how to teach language through movement and stories. Olimova Shahina discusses how to improve English learners’ skill in speaking. Matqurbonova Ro’zaxon explores different methods of improving spoken word fluency in language learners. Husanboyeva Nargiza highlights the potential of new digital technologies in education.

Other contributors reinterpret language in concrete and abstract ways. Jerome Berglund renders different poetic forms into concrete images. Noah Berlatsky contributes a humorous poem about procrastination that uses repetition as a literary device. Christina Chin and Uchechukwu Onyedikam craft joint tan-renga poems, finishing each other’s pieces with images of music, nature, rest, and memories. Rus Khomutoff’s concrete poetry takes us on a journey of surrealism, music, and romance.

Like Khomutoff, other writers travel deep into their own psyches. Brian Barbeito reflects on his thought process and creative journeys, considering how he both opens his mind to emptiness and enlightenment and, like a skilled hockey player, remembers the basics of his craft. On another note, Nigar Nurulla Khalilova evokes writers’ block and an intense, foul mood as harsh as the Arab Simoom wind.

Mesfakus Salahin ponders the fragility of human identity and self-concept. Mark Young’s poetry explores creative processes, relationships, and the search for meaning. Texas Fontanella’s music digs deep for a dose of duende. Tagrid Bou Merhi draws on train travel as a metaphor for introspection and longing for one’s past or future. Stephen Jarrell Williams crafts a series of verses describing a person’s inner struggle and renewal. Ari Nystrom-Rice explores identity, wondering who he truly is underneath the surface. Mexribon Shodiyeva’s poetry celebrates the fragile butterfly and the beauty of being yourself. Shamsiya Khudoynazarova Turumovna relates having had the courage to free herself from an unhealthy situation and walk her own path.

Paul Cordeiro speaks to the aftermath of significant relationships and events and to how our feelings can reshape our memories. On a less serious level, Mark Blickley develops a farcical story of unemployment fraud inspired by a photo of a man with a sheep skull, where a character invests deeply into reinventing himself.

On a more cosmic level, Jack Mellender’s work looks at space, time, and humanity’s place in the universe. Ummnusalma Nasir Mukhtar relates a fanciful and expansive dream where she traveled to the moon and stars and gathered her strength. Jacques Fleury’s photography encourages us to view life from different vantage points, exploring concepts as varied as travel, physical attraction, thought, and justice.

Duane Vorhees reflects on ancient archetypes and how we tell stories about ourselves. Sayani Mukherjee reflects on the constant turbulence of human and natural history. Dr. Jernail S. Anand probes some basic paradoxes of modern human life.

Rezauddin Stalin reflects on the beauty and the price of freedom as Blue Chynoweth reflects on the blessing and curse of being able to contemplate one’s place in the universe rather than living by instinct.

Mahbub Alam wonders whether love or self-destruction will win the day. As a person of faith grappling with these issues, Chimezie Ihekuna addresses life’s seemingly intractable struggles, suffering, and human evil, and also God’s implacable goodness in a paradoxical couplet of poems. Lilian Dipasupil’s paired poems take a similar approach, warning of child kidnapping while honoring the love and sacrifice of Jesus.

As writers, one of the ways we can respond to evil is to bear witness and document it as a warning. This is one of the roles of journalism. Davronova Asilabonu affirms the value of journalism and speculates on the field’s future.

More traditionally literary writing can bear witness as well. Yucheng Tao provides a sobering reminder of the historical massacres of the indigenous people of the American West by European settlers and of many Cambodians later in history by the Khmer Rouge. Z.I. Mahmud explores how Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Hound of the Baskervilles brought realism into detective fiction, illustrating the monstrosity of human greed and vengeance. Rahmat Muhammad laments how people where she lives in northern Nigeria no longer honor elders and ancestors as much as they should.

Yet, history has not all been bleak, and people have developed some magnificent works. Christopher Bernard reviews the energizing performance of Grupo Corpo at Berkeley’s Cal Performances, highlighting how the dances reflect various aspects of Brazilian culture. Federico Wardal outlines the accomplishments of celebrated actor Massimo Sangalli. Jeffrey Levert delves into history and philosophy as he wanders the back pathways of a remote Greek island. Graciela Noemi Villaverde poetizes on the beauty of old books and the sorrow of losing or forgetting the words inside.

Shuhratbekova Gulzoda describes the historical contributions of the humanist Jadid leaders of Uzbekistan to art, literature, science, and culture. Dilobar Maxmarejabova expresses her pride in her Uzbek heritage and her hometown of Qashqadaryo. Hashimjonova Durdana affirms her pride in her Uzbek heritage and culture. Nozima Gofurova outlines the many achievements of today’s Uzbek youth.

Bhagirath Choudhary points to the role of literature in terms of helping people and societies evolve to become more humane. Dr. Jernail S. Anand illuminates the power of art and literature to touch people’s hearts and souls and inspire wiser and more compassionate behavior.

Alexander Klujev highlights connections between Russian music and Russian philosophy and how both honor the triumph of life over death.

Various contributions celebrate different aspects of life. Shahnoza Ochildiyeva enjoys a picnic with her classmates on a sunny spring day. Su Yun evokes the struggle and beauty of flowers growing in an urban environment. Isabel Gomez de Diego photographs childhood exuberance in a neighborhood where humans coexist with nature, trees and bike paths near city apartments. Eva Petropolou Lianou crafts a story around the evocatively named “Hero’s Path,” a hiking trail near a European monastery. She finds simple joy in nature and travel. Manik Chakraborty takes poetic inspiration from misty mountains as Taro Hokkyo honors his muse and the land on which he writes.

Marjona Jorayeva Baxtiyorovna expresses her respect for women and the feminine, which she links to nurturing and compassion. Gulsanam Qurbonova celebrates the tender nurturing of a mother’s love. Vo Thi Nhu Mai reflects on the warmth and tenderness of her childhood in Vietnam and how that inspired her creativity. Kylian Cubilla Gomez’ photography captures vintage childhood images: Snoopy, old Easter themed toys, a colorful frog, even possibly Dad’s aftershave. David Sapp enters the mind of a three-year-old, excited about cereal and dogs. Marjona Jo’rayeva relates her enthusiasm for a fresh term at school.

Kristy Raines expresses the simple yet profound joy of two souls finding true love and choosing each other. Eid Saleh writes in English and Arabic of the meeting of souls in a similar way, and refers both to romance and to close friendship. Qaraboyeva Zilola expresses the tender urgency, trepidation, and obsession of young love. Marley Manalo-Ladicho ignites a fiery love feast in his poetry.

However, as Taylor Dibbert points out in his brief poem, romances, and other sources of happiness, aren’t guaranteed to last.

Tuliyeva Sarvinoz’ elegant poetry laments lost love as Mirta Liliana Ramirez honors the memory of a beloved, asserting that she’s not yet ready to move forward. Eva Petropolou Lianou touches on the tenderness of human hearts and how many of us carry emotional trauma. J.J. Campbell’s poems describe a soul’s slow descent into misery and cynicism. Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal speaks to social and psychological entrapment, stuck with folks tired of his old stories. Linda S. Gunther’s short story “Bake Me a Banyan Tree” explores what we owe our loved ones and how far we would go for them.

Eric Barr’s poetry reflects the realities of navigating life after a stroke. Manik Chakraborty laments destruction caused by a fire as Mykyta Ryzhykh reimagines the Three Little Pigs into a futuristic dystopia in light of environmental destruction. Don Bormon evokes extreme desert heat and the specter of climate change.

Alex S. Johnson takes us on a mythical journey to transmute sorrow in a poem translated into Greek by Cassandra Alogoskoufi.

Sometimes what one needs to overcome suffering isn’t as complex as alchemy, but can just be time at home curled up with one’s cat. Nicholas Gunther’s poem describes a weary soul’s desire to return home after a long journey. Bill Tope’s short story explores how a senior cat helped bring an older woman out of depression after society made both feel useless.

We hope that Synchronized Chaos can inspire creativity, bear witness to the joys and pains of the world, and transform sorrow and stagnation. Please enjoy this issue!

Ancient

The drunken swiftness of the waves
Calms me 
From a reverie of unpredictable marches
A lost song of victory and losses
As she possessed the divinity of all things
Things high and low lay bare 
The stratum of bounty Hastings
The unnameable spoken mantra, the soma of life
Lying all over the fringe of all things
Knitted in a divine mastery
I knew the ancient waters, the green scenery
As the rivers comingle with the ever chanting song fare. 

MOTHER

The love of a mother is a profound and intricate tapestry, woven with threads of unconditional care, unwavering support, and a profound understanding that transcends words. It is a force that shapes our lives from the very beginning, nurturing our growth, guiding our steps, and leaving an indelible mark on our souls. 

From the moment a mother cradles her newborn in her arms, a bond is formed that defies definition. It is a primal connection, an instinctual understanding that transcends language and reason. The first touch, the first gaze, the first whisper – these are the building blocks of a love that will endure through time and circumstance. 

A mother's love is a constant source of strength and security. It is the safe haven we return to when the world feels overwhelming, the gentle hand that guides us through life's uncertainties. It is the unwavering belief in our potential, even when we doubt ourselves. 

As we grow, a mother's love adapts and evolves. It becomes the steady hand that helps us navigate the challenges of childhood, the encouraging voice that whispers, "You can do it!" when we face our first fears. It is the shoulder we cry on when our hearts are broken, the warm embrace that soothes our pain.

A mother's love is not always easy. It requires sacrifice, patience, and a willingness to put the needs of her children before her own. It means staying up late with a sick child, wiping away tears, and offering comfort when words fail. It means celebrating our triumphs and offering solace in our failures. 

Through the years, a mother's love becomes a guiding light, illuminating our path and providing us with a sense of purpose. She is the one who teaches us right from wrong, instills in us our values, and helps us develop our sense of self. 

Her love is a constant source of inspiration, reminding us that we are capable of great things. It is the fuel that propels us to pursue our dreams, to overcome obstacles, and to strive for excellence. 

A mother's love is a gift that keeps on giving. It is a source of strength, comfort, and inspiration that we carry with us throughout our lives. It is a love that transcends time and circumstance, a love that endures even when we are miles apart. 

But a mother's love is not just about the sacrifices she makes or the lessons she teaches. It is also about the joy she finds in watching her children grow and thrive. It is about the pride she feels when her children achieve their dreams. 

It is the shared laughter, the inside jokes, the memories that are woven into the fabric of our family. It is the simple moments of connection – a cup of coffee shared on a rainy morning, a phone call to say "I love you," a hug that speaks volumes. 

A mother's love is a complex and multifaceted thing, a love that is both powerful and tender, both fierce and gentle. It is a love that defies definition, a love that can only be felt in the depths of our hearts. 

It is a love that shapes who we are, that guides us through life's journey, and that leaves an indelible mark on our souls. It is a love that transcends words, a love that is eternal.

Even when our mothers are no longer with us, their love remains a constant presence in our lives. It is the legacy they leave behind, a legacy of love, support, and guidance that inspires us to live our lives to the fullest. 

Matqurbonova Ro’zaxon Zokirjon qizi

Samarkand state institute of foreign languages

rozaxonmatqurbonova17@gmail.com

Abstract: Speaking is one of the most important skills in language learning, requiring effective teaching methods to enhance learners’ communication abilities. This article explores various methods used in speaking lessons, emphasizing their impact on students’ fluency, accuracy, and confidence. It discusses the role of interactive, communicative, and task-based approaches in fostering better speaking skills. The findings suggest that a combination of different methods leads to improved student engagement and language proficiency.

Keywords: speaking skills, teaching methods, communicative approach, task-based learning, fluency

Introduction

Developing speaking skills in a foreign language requires a strategic approach that combines various teaching methods. Effective speaking lessons should focus on fluency, accuracy, and interaction to help learners become confident communicators. Traditional methods, such as grammar-translation and audiolingual approaches, have been supplemented with more interactive techniques, including communicative language teaching (CLT) and task-based learning (TBL). This article examines different methods used in speaking lessons and their impact on language learners.

Speaking is a fundamental skill in language learning, as it enables learners to communicate effectively in real-life situations. However, developing speaking proficiency requires a combination of different teaching methods that address fluency, accuracy, and confidence. Traditional approaches, such as grammar-translation and audiolingual methods, have often emphasized memorization and repetition, but modern methodologies focus more on interactive and communicative strategies to enhance speaking skills.

In recent years, language educators have integrated a variety of techniques, including Communicative Language Teaching (CLT), Task-Based Learning (TBL), and technology-assisted learning, to create engaging and student-centered speaking lessons. These approaches encourage meaningful communication, allowing learners to practice language in authentic contexts. Research suggests that a combination of these methods leads to better speaking performance by promoting spontaneous speech, interactive learning, and self-correction.

Many researchers have explored the effectiveness of different methods in teaching speaking skills. Brown (2007) emphasized that communicative competence should be the primary goal of language instruction, advocating for an interactive approach. Similarly, Richards and Rodgers (2014) analyzed various methodologies and highlighted the significance of Communicative Language Teaching (CLT) in fostering spontaneous speech.

Task-Based Learning (TBL) has also been widely researched. Ellis (2003) found that TBL enhances learners’ ability to use language in real-life situations by engaging them in meaningful tasks. Harmer (2007) supported this claim, arguing that task-based approaches promote fluency by reducing the fear of making mistakes.

Additionally, studies on language anxiety, such as Oflaz (2019), indicate that interactive methods help students build confidence and reduce speaking anxiety. Dörnyei and Ottó (1998) developed a process model of L2 motivation, suggesting that a positive classroom environment and engaging tasks play a crucial role in improving speaking skills.

Furthermore, the integration of technology in language learning has gained attention. Nation (2007) proposed the “Four Strands” framework, emphasizing the need for meaning-focused input and output. Asher (1969) introduced the Total Physical Response (TPR) method, which proved effective in developing oral proficiency, especially for beginners.

Method

This study explores the effectiveness of different methods used in speaking lessons to improve students’ fluency, accuracy, and confidence. The research was conducted in a classroom setting with language learners of various proficiency levels. A combination of Communicative Language Teaching (CLT), Task-Based Learning (TBL), and interactive activities was implemented over a period of eight weeks.

Participants engaged in role-plays, discussions, debates, and real-life simulations. Fluency was encouraged through spontaneous speaking activities, while accuracy was addressed through targeted feedback and corrective techniques. Technology-assisted learning, including language learning apps and video recordings, was also incorporated to provide additional speaking practice.

Data was collected through classroom observations, student surveys, and oral assessments. Fluency was measured by the number of words spoken per minute, accuracy by grammatical correctness, and confidence by self-reported surveys and teacher evaluations.

Discussion

One of the most widely used approaches in speaking lessons is Communicative Language Teaching (CLT), which emphasizes real-life communication. This method encourages students to engage in dialogues, role-plays, and discussions, helping them develop fluency and confidence. Unlike traditional grammar-focused methods, CLT prioritizes meaning over form, making language use more natural and spontaneous.

Another effective method is Task-Based Learning (TBL), which involves learners completing meaningful tasks that require communication. Examples include problem-solving activities, debates, and simulations. TBL promotes active participation, enhancing students’ ability to use language in different contexts.

Interactive methods such as group work and pair discussions also play a crucial role in speaking lessons. These activities create a dynamic learning environment where students practice speaking in a supportive setting. Additionally, technology-assisted learning, including language learning apps, video conferencing, and AI chatbots, provides opportunities for learners to practice speaking outside the classroom.

Despite the benefits of these methods, some challenges exist. Learners may struggle with accuracy when fluency is prioritized, and some students may feel anxious about speaking in front of others. Teachers must balance fluency and accuracy by integrating corrective feedback without discouraging participation.

Results

The findings indicate that using a combination of different methods significantly improved students’ speaking abilities. CLT and TBL-based activities increased student engagement and fluency, with participants showing a 30% increase in spoken words per minute. Accuracy improved as well, particularly when corrective feedback was integrated into interactive tasks.

Student confidence also increased, with 85% of participants reporting that they felt more comfortable speaking in front of others after completing the speaking lessons. The use of technology, such as recording and playback, helped students identify their mistakes and self-correct, further enhancing their learning experience.

Overall, the results demonstrate that incorporating various methods in speaking lessons leads to noticeable improvements in students’ communication skills. The combination of fluency-focused and accuracy-driven activities created a balanced approach, ensuring effective language learning.

Conclusion

Using different methods in speaking lessons enhances language acquisition by fostering fluency, accuracy, and confidence. A combination of communicative, task-based, and interactive approaches proves effective in engaging learners and improving their speaking skills. Teachers should adopt a flexible approach that meets the needs of diverse learners, ensuring that speaking lessons remain engaging and effective.

The use of different methods in speaking lessons plays a crucial role in developing students’ fluency, accuracy, and confidence. Communicative Language Teaching (CLT) and Task-Based Learning (TBL) have proven effective in promoting real-life communication and active student engagement. Interactive activities, such as role-plays, discussions, and debates, help learners practice spontaneous speech, while corrective feedback ensures grammatical accuracy.

The results of this study indicate that a combination of methods leads to better speaking performance compared to relying on a single approach. Students who participated in diverse speaking activities showed noticeable improvements in their ability to express themselves clearly and confidently. Additionally, the integration of technology-assisted learning provided further opportunities for practice and self-assessment.

To enhance speaking lessons, educators should adopt a flexible and student-centered approach, incorporating different strategies based on learners’ needs and proficiency levels. By balancing fluency-focused and accuracy-driven activities, teachers can create a dynamic learning environment that fosters both communication skills and linguistic competence.

References:

1. Brown, H. D. (2007). Teaching by Principles: An Interactive Approach to Language Pedagogy (3rd ed.). Pearson Education.

2. Celce-Murcia, M. (2001). Teaching English as a Second or Foreign Language (3rd ed.). Heinle & Heinle.

3. Ellis, R. (2003). Task-Based Language Learning and Teaching. Oxford University Press.

4. Harmer, J. (2007). The Practice of English Language Teaching (4th ed.). Longman.

5. Richards, J. C., & Rodgers, T. S. (2014). Approaches and Methods in Language Teaching (3rd ed.). Cambridge University Press.

6. Thornbury, S. (2005). How to Teach Speaking. Pearson Longman.

7. Oflaz, A. (2019). “The Foreign Language Anxiety in Learning German and the Effects of Total Physical Response Method on Students’ Speaking Skill.” Journal of Language and Linguistic Studies, 15(1), 70-82.

8. Dörnyei, Z., & Ottó, I. (1998). “Motivation in Action: A Process Model of L2 Motivation.” Working Papers in Applied Linguistics, 4, 43-69.

9. Nation, I. S. P. (2007). “The Four Strands.” Innovation in Language Learning and Teaching, 1(1), 2-13.

10. Asher, J. J. (1969). “The Total Physical Response Approach to Second Language Learning.” The Modern Language Journal, 53(1), 3-17.

11. Germain, C., & Netten, J. (2011). “Impact de la conception de l’acquisition d’une langue seconde ou étrangère sur la conception de la langue et de son enseignement.” Synergies Chine, 6, 25-36.

12. Kormos, J. (2006). Speech Production and Second Language Acquisition. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

13. Dörnyei, Z. (2005). The Psychology of the Language Learner: Individual Differences in Second Language Acquisition. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

14. Richards, J. C. (2008). Teaching Listening and Speaking: From Theory to Practice. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.

15. Thornbury, S. (2005). How to Teach Speaking. Harlow: Longman.

16. Harmer, J. (2007). The Practice of English Language Teaching (4th ed.). Harlow: Pearson Longman.

Daughter of the Homeland

This pride is higher than the mountains of Askar,

In my hand, the homeland stands brave.

Now you, soldiers, go to the adge,

Today Durdona is preparing for battle.

With my grandfather’s belt around my waist,

I will walk along the paths that Manguberdi loved.

If the enemies bring me to the gallows,

Then I will say “Homeland”, “Homeland”.

Today to erase your sorrows,

Your poetess daughter will take a sword in her hand.

I will never allow it to be erased,

The trace left by my grandfather Amir Temur.

This pride is higher than the mountains of Askar,

In my hand, the homeland stands brave.

Now you, soldiers, go to the adge,

Today Durdona is preparing for battle!

Hashimjonova Durdana daughter of Sodirjan. Born of April 29, 2010 Rishtan district, Fergana region.  Currently, she is an 8th grade student at school No.59.

Scandal is not the solution                                                                                            

Problems and fights are everywhere. Because war will not be the relationship itself without quarrels. Whether it’s in personal life or social .There are also minor disappointments in major cities. Only if you can find the right solution by eliminating it, problems and conflicts will not leave a bad mark on our psyche and memory pages. In my opinion, the problem can be solved in two ways .The first is to calm down and the main thing is to listen to each other.

         The beginning of any irreconcilable argument is caused by misunderstanding .People decide on anger in a hurry without listening to each other’s words to the end. This condition is common in every human condition unfortunately. In such cases, the first thing to do is always try to calm down .Because not all decisions made on anger are true ,and the disputes that are taking place at this time have a profound effect on a person’s life. How do you say? We often lighten our anger when we are angry by saying bitter words to other people, not precisely from the person who let us out of anger. This causes our loved ones to be disappointed in US or lose them. It is necessary to try to calm down somehow so as not to get into such bad situations. It is necessary to coldly try to solve the issue in the case when the person or situation standing on our opposite side is looking at the situation with a real eye, no matter to what extent we were angry, and remember that nothing will change with a quarrel. To the question of how to calm down ? we must remember that in this world everyone can make mistakes ,that there is no perfect person or perfect situation for himself, that nothing stands in this world above our peace and health and more expensive. Because a person who stands in front of us during a quarrel will also expect from us that he will treat us. The situation changes if you speak softly and politely without any quarrels ,or if you can see the good side of the situation, a little, not only from the negative side, the person standing in front of you will sometimes fall.

     Not listening to each other is a situation that aggravates the situation. Those are small problems that cause that condition gets bigger . We all have to try to overcome any situation by being forgiving, taking into account that we make mistakes. Why exactly listen? After all, said a bad word, insulted, is it possible to respond politely? if the question torments you, remember the phrase “good word soul mate”. Even thanks to one sweet word, a person can change for the better in life .This means that you will appear not as a weak or stupid person, but as an incredibly strong person .Try to listen and understand a little, no matter how difficult it is, make a decision in a position that does not compromise the interests between the two people .this shows that you are a real leader. Whether you are an ordinary schoolboy or a student or an ordinary person, you will find the respect you respect.

     From my simple experience , I can conclude that when you come across a person who has said a bad word to you or is in a bad situation in life, do so, try to look for the good side of the situation, see the good side. Because there is wisdom in every job! With the sweet words you say, there will probably be a little better change in someone’s life .Try to turn this quarrel into warm conversations with good qualities in yourself, rather than expanding the quarrels by hurriedly saying offensive words. This will definitely help. Miracles are created by man himself. Think about the fact that everything is possible in this world ,consult ,share your thoughts ,and not that you also leave a quarrel or some big problem will ruin my life, but never think that I will forcibly achieve something with a quarrel. Haste never brings benefits! do not forget that only doing good and good words change the world!

Khasanova Aziza Kumushbek qizi was born on October 1, 2004 in the city of Chirchik, Tashkent region.Student Of The Tashkent Institute of Economics and pedagogy. Owner of several scientific articles.

Out of the Gloom

Following a breakfast hardly worthy of the name, Annie sat with her cup of coffee on the porch, swinging listlessly as she watched huge, sculpted flakes of snow blow across her front yard. The wind sang through the black, denuded boughs of her hickory trees. Although the outdoor thermometer showed the temperature to be a bitterly cold 12 degrees Fahrenheit, Annie didn’t feel the chill in the air. She did, however, feel the coldness of isolation and depression and a continuing deep sense of loss closing in on her.

She cast her mind back several weeks, to the two days voluntary absence she’d taken from work. Annie, 60, had worked for half of her life at Mercer Portfolio as an executive secretary. She knew, as did her employer, that she was very good at her job, and her record of attendance had been nearly spotless. She hadn’t requested personal time off from work since her mom died, almost a decade before. The time had been readily granted. Additionally, cards, flowers, prepared food and other expressions of condolence has been forthcoming. All this for the death of a woman with whom Annie had not stayed overnight for more than 40 years.

Mom, a cold and unfeeling woman trapped in parenthood, had never wanted to be a mother. Because of her ambivalance, she had treated her only child distantly. Annie’s father died when she was 7 and she could scarcely remember him. She remembered the last time she had visited her mother, 11 years before. She had just flown in.

“Mom, how can I help? Do you want me to do some laundry or shopping or…”

“I don’t want nothin’ from you,” snapped Delores Davis in her hacking, 3-pack-a-day voice. “You don’t come back but ever’ other month and you try to make up for it by doin’ laundry or shoppin’ or whatever. I jus’ want one thing from you,” she said.

“What’s that?” asked Annie tiredly. They went through this same drama every few months. “What could I finally do that would actually make you happy?”

“Don’t come back here no more,” said the old woman with an evil smirk. “That,” asserted Delores, “would make me very happy!”

Annie got a letter from the Edgewood Nursing Home a month later, telling her that Delores had entered their facility as a permanent resident. Annie never again saw her mother alive. She had several times sent a check to the Home to provide some extras for Mom, but the envelopes had been returned unopened. A phone call from that facility almost a year later informed her that Delores Davis had escaped her mortal bonds. Annie had felt numb for a day afterward, but that was all. No other member of her family was living.

Sam, however, was another story. Sam, Annie’s molly cat, had been an integral part of her life from the time she got her from Animal Rescue at 3 months until she finally died at 17 years. Sam was a fast friend and constant companion and Annie had come to rely emotionally on her cat to always be there for her. Conjuring an image of her beloved Sam still brought a tear to her eye. Perhaps most hurtful was that, unlike when her mother had died, others reacted rather coldly when Annie expressed her grief at Sam’s passing.

Her boyfriend, Arch, at her home on the day of Sam’s passing, at first seemed not to know what to say, but then folded her obligingly in his arms and patted her back. But, when she didn’t immediately snap out of it, he seemed not to understand why the loss of a friend whom Annie had known ten times as long as she’d known him should have struck her so hard.

“Annie,” he said with rock-headedness, “how long are you going to mope?” She looked up out of her tissue and blinked. “I mean, it’s only a cat.” Her lips drew into a straight, unhappy line. Arch, she knew, had never liked Sam, not really. What he said next was the worst thing: “If it had been a dog, then I could get it…”

“Then get this,” she told him coldly, and stuffed her snotty tissue into his shirt pocket and said, “Beat it!” He did beat it and, despite fruitlessly calling her daily for the first week, soon stopped trying to make contact.

“Hey, Sam, cute stuff,” cooed Annie, picking the cat up off the porch and cradling her like a baby in her arms. The cat instantly began to loudly purr. “That’s a good girl,” Annie said, and rubbed Sam’s belly. Annie sat down upon the swing, eagerly soaking up the love she she often hadn’t found elsewhere. “Hey,” she asked the cat, “do you want some treats?” Sam’s ears perked up and she squirmed and jumped from Annie’s arms, landing lightly upon the porch floor. She fed Sam her treats, but of course she wanted more. Additional crunchies were not forthcoming, however, for as Annie cautioned Sam, “We girls got to watch our figures, or no one else will.”

“Mr. Helper,” said Annie, speaking on the phone with her boss. “It’s Annie.”

“Annie, are you feeling any better? I was surprised when you took a sick day yesterday. I checked, and you haven’t taken a sick day since you had Covid, nearly 5 years ago.”

“I’m alright, Mr. Helper, thank you. I need to call off today for a different reason.”

Helper’s voice suddenly turned harder. “What reason?” he asked suspiciously.

“Sam…my cat, Sam, died yesterday, and I’m still a little messed up about it.”

Silence.

“Mr. Helper?” asked Annie.

“You mean, you weren’t ill yesterday?” he asked.

“Well, not physically. But, emotionally I was a mess. I owned Sam for…”

He cut her off. “You can have one day, Ms. Davis,” said Helper, using her formal appellation. “You misled the firm yesterday when you called off with what turned out be a lie. One day,” he repeated. He disconnected.

Annie never went back to Mercer Industries.

Claudia, Annie’s best friend from work, called her 5 days into her continued absence from the job. “What’s goin’ on, girl?” asked Claudia. Annie had phoned her friend the day that Sam died and left a message, but until now, she had received no call back. “The rumor mill is working overtime, Annie. Did you really quit?”

“Quit?” repeated Annie. “Not exactly. I’m still grieving, Claudia. I told you, Sam died.”

“Yes,” murmured her friend. “You said that.” After a moment, she asked, “what else is it? Are you sick? Tell me you’re sick, Annie, and I’ll tell that to Helper. Then he can’t fire you.”

“I already told him why I missed work, Claudia,” said Annie.

“I can tell him you were upset, that you had a serious condition; you know, that you had an STD or something and were ashamed to talk about it.”

“I’m not ashamed, Claudia,” Annie said a little more sharply that she intended. “But I am grieving. If you and Mr. Helper and his bosses can’t cut me some slack after three decades of faithful service, then…” She was losing her temper, something she’d never done before with her friend.

“Do you feel suicidal?” asked Claudia eagerly.

Annie pulled her cell phone away from her face and stared into it. She said, “What?”

“If I could tell them you’re suicidal, then they could refer you Human Resources and get you some help…”

Annie retorted, “I don’t need help. I just need time to grieve.” Did she need professional help? she wondered. A shrink would only laugh at her, she feared.

“Then I could explain that you were raped–a date rape–and you had PTSD.”

Annie took a great breath and let it out. “Claudia,” she said calmly, “I’m not suicidal. But I could use some personal support, from my friends.”

“What about Arch?” asked Claudia.

“Yes,” replied Annie wearily, “what about Arch?”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” asked Claudia next.

“I’ll call you if I need anything, okay?” replied Annie softly.

“Okay, girl.”

“Oh, baby,” said Annie, kneeling by Sam’s side. The cat had just vomited again and lay prostrate in the mess. She pulled her pet from the discharge and took her inside to wipe her off. This was the third time is as many days that Sam had regurgitated. Annie phoned up the vet and made an appointment for that afternoon.

Dr. Patel gently palpitated Sam’s distended abdomen and checked her tongue and eyes and ears. He said something about “jaundice.”

“No parasites,” he murmured, “but we’ll check the stool sample and do an X-ray and an ultrasound.” Sam had known the vet all her life and trusted him. But, when he touched her stomach, she growled crossly. After an hour, the vet met with Annie again and told her that Sam’s liver was at issue.

“It’s hepatic failure, Annie,” said the vet. “It’s almost certainly the result of the ingestion of toxins. We’ve gotten a number of similar cases in the area. Do you use any toxins around your house?”

Annie frowned thoughtfully. “No,” she began but then remembered, “the groundskeeping crew has used a defoliant on my blackberries the last two years. But, I asked them and they said it was pet-friendly and wouldn’t hurt Sam.” When he asked, she told him the brand name. He stared sadly at her. “Do you think they lied to me?” she asked in a tiny voice.

_______

Annie and Sam sat alone on a bench in the consultation room at the vet’s. She sat not in her lap as she usually did, but stretched out on the seat. She gently stroked her side. Dr. Patel had told her that, given Sam’s condition and her age, surgery was not indicated. It would be very expensive and it simply wouldn’t work; Sam would never survive the procedure.

“Pretty girl,” she murmured. The cat rolled onto her back and stuck her paws into the air.

The vet reentered the room.

“How long does Sam have, Dr. Patel?” she asked, feeling the moment was surreal.

The vet stroked the cat; Sam purred. “She could last for six months. Or she could expire tomorrow.”

Expire, thought Annie bleakly. What a cold, lifeless word to describe the death of a friend.

“It’s up to you, of course,” the vet went on, “but the kinder course would be to put Sam to sleep, as soon as possible.”

Annie felt as though a hundred pound weight were on her shoulders. “Is she in any pain?” she asked.

The doctor nodded. “Yes,” he said.

Sam was euthanized 30 minutes later, after Annie had said her goodbyes. She didn’t cry, which she felt was weird, inasmuch as her grief was manifest. She told herself she was still in shock. The vet’s assistant gave Annie a wax imprint of Sam’s paws, plus a bill for $1,500, including $100 for the cremation.

Annie sat alone in her car and wept bitterly.

_______

For the first week, Annie felt as if, when she entered a room, she would find Sam padding across the floor or mischievously shredding the curtains or sharpening her nails in the doorways. Then she’d remember and just sigh. Her friends, all from work, were by this time avoiding her. Claudia had emailed her and told her that at Mercer, Annie was persona non grata and no one dared be seen with her. This explained the mild rebukes she’d gotten from work friends she’d texted to spend some time with. She was dreadfully lonely. The house and yard were home to ghosts.

Doing what she always did when she faced uncertainty, Annie booted up her PC and consulted Dr. Google. She clicked on Grief Over Pets and received a panoply of advice. She read that modern Western society had a rather unforgiving attitude toward those who claimed to be suffering grief over the death of an animal. They called this disenfranchised grief and said that it only added on additional layers of misery to those so afflicted.

By the time the second week had passed, she thought to seek professional help. Dialing up the HMO in which employees of Mercer were enrolled, she talked to what sounded like an older woman at the HMO and explained her situation, asking if she could have an appointment with a mental  health professional. The woman apparently placed her hand over the telephone receiver and spoke to someone else. When she came back on the line, she said, barely containing her hilarity, “Maybe you should contact an animal psychologist,” and exploded into gales of unpleasant laughter. “I think they got one at the greyhound track,” she added, then cackled some more.

Annie hung up the phone.

Nights were the worst. When Arch wasn’t there, Sam had spent the nights in Annie’s bed, curled on top of the comforter and nestled in her owner’s arm. But, because Arch was now a ghost as well, Annie spent every night. every second, alone. She hated it.

Mercer was an investment brokerage and the employees, including the secretaries, had profitted from the firm’s investment strategies and enjoyed rich supplements to their already generous remuneration. After 30 years, Annie was but 7 years from retirement. And, because she was in good health and excellent financial shape, decided she wouldn’t reenter the work force. Although she had been discharged, the company was still obliged to pay her substantial pension. Annie retired.

Annie sat in the living room, wathing a PSA on television, showing the dire situation of abandoned and neglected animals. It was a fund-raising effort by Animal Rescue, the same group where she’d gotten Sam so long agp. Videos of starving dogs and abused kittens and lame horses flashed across the screen, ripping at her heart. When the commercial ended, Annie turned to her PC and looked up Animal Rescue on the web. She was surprised to learn that the local shelter was still located at the same spot it had been when she got Sam so long ago. Taking up a wrap, she walked to her car and into her salvation.

Annie was shocked to discover that the same ageless woman who had facilitated Sam’s adoption was still working at the shelter, only now she was the director. Her name, she read on her name tag, was Gladys. Next on the string of miracles was that the woman recognized Annie as well when she mentioned the animal she had adopted.

“Sam, yes, I remember,” said Gladys. “In our follow up telephone interview with you, you said you named her Sam. But, she’ll always be Cuddles to me,” she said, recalling the temporary name that the shelter had given her. She expressed condolences when Annie told her that Sam had passed. But, she didn’t press Annie to immediately readopt and Annie was a little surprised.

“It’s important to grieve properly after a friend passes,” Gladys said. “If you adopt too soon, it’s not fair to the memory of your friend and it’s not fair to your new animal.” Gladys went on to recommend a grieving period of 2 to 3 months, at a minimum. “And Cuddles…Sam, has been gone just six weeks.”

Annie smiled with relief; she had half expected a hard sales pitch; perhaps she was too used to the mercenary buyers and sellers of the transactional American culture. “I agree with you, Gladys,” said Annie.

“Then what can I help you with today, Annie?” asked the other woman. “Or did you just want to visit with some of our little friends?”

‘Is…is that allowed?” asked Annie timidly.

“Of course. Look around and visit. They love company.”

So Annie did, strolling around and visiting every animal. They all seemed pathetically eager for attention, for socialization. When she had completed her visit, she asked the question she had when she came.

“Is there anything that I can do?” she asked.

“What did you have in mind?” asked Gladys, all business now.

“Well,” replied Annie. “As a volunteer. I’m recently retired and I have a lot of hours to fill. And I’d like to help, if I can.”

“What sort of work did you do?” asked Gladys.

“I was an executive secretary for a financial firm for thirty years,” replied Annie.

“Well,” said Gladys, we don’t have much call for dictation or typing and the like…” Annie’s shoulders slumped. “…but,” she continued, “If you can muck out cages and give the animals water and food and assist the visiting vets and love the precious creatures, then you got a job.” She smiled warmly.

“Can I start today?” asked Annie.

Annie began working at the shelter 15 hours a week, which soon escalated to 6 hours per day, five days per week. She loved her work, menial as it was. She enjoyed getting her hands dirty and returning home in the evening smelling like cats and dogs. She fell in love with all the animals, though Sam was never far from her mind. By August, Annie felt that the intensity of her grief was at last at an end. She approached Gladys one afternoon.

“I think I’m ready,” she said.

Gladys somehow knew exactly what she meant. “I think you’re ready too,” she said. “Does this mean you’ll be leaving the shelter?” she asked with concern.  Annie was one of her most avid helpers and her sudden absence would surely be felt. Not only a favorite of the shelter’s patrons, board members and workers, but the animals took to her naturally as well. Their love was returned.

“You’ll never get rid of me, Gladys,” vowed Annie.

“Who’s the lucky girl, or guy?” asked Gladys.

“I’m adopting Jupiter,” declared Annie with a big smile, referencing a large gray male cat.

Gladys frowned. “Honey, Jupiter is 13 years old.”

“I know.”

“In just a couple of years you may have to go through with him what you did with Sam.” Jupiter was diabetic and needed daily insulin injections, which the shelter’s pro bono vet had trained Annie to give.

“I know all that, Gladys,” said Annie. “But, Jupiter has been here for two years, and if I don’t adopt him, then nobody will. He’s an outcast, sort of like me. I think we belong together, you know?”

The night that Annie adopted Jupiter, she lay asleep with the big gray cat curled into her chest and she dreamed. Of Sam. In the dream, Sam was in her lap on the swing and Annie was stroking her fur. Sam suddenly began purring very loudly. She looked up into Annie’s green eyes and opened her mouth.

“What is it, baby?” asked Annie, bending down. In response, Sam leaned up and bit Annie almost impossibly softly on the nose. Then she was gone.

Annie woke up abruptly, said aloud, “Sam?” But, it was Jupiter who lay nestled up against her. There had, Annie realized, been a changing of the guard and a release from her ever-present malaise. The cat looked up inquiringly into his mistress’s eyes, as if to say, this is all new to me too. “I’m out of the gloom now,” murmured Annie, and fell back into a dreamless sleep.

…