Essay from Steven Croft

Notes on the Confederacy’s Next to Last Battle in Georgia

I leave US Highway 17, take the quiet oak-lined county road that divides subdivisions along the Ogeechee River to the entrance of Fort McAllister where history folds back on itself today, wormholes two dates —

December 13, 1864, Fort McAllister falls,

December 9, 2023, the Final Battle of Fort McAllister.

Beyond the portal of the Visitors Center the Yankee encampment has the symmetry of a movie set, tents geometrically spaced as if soldiers were required to measure their separation before raising them.  An officer’s wide wall tent in the center, twice the size of others, has two flags guarding the entrance.  A former Army soldier, I almost say “Permission to enter” before a bluecoat in slouch hat walks out, introducing himself as a colonel.  He tells me he is frying sweet potatoes for breakfast, the smoke and sizzle of his iron skillet over the fire in front of his tent rises to join smoke from other campfires in the late morning’s winter bite of cold wind.  He tells me his Union flag has 34 stars and the other’s a gold Irish regiment flag, a Celtic harp visible in its hanging folds.

The night before I searched the web for Civil War era facts —

In 1859, the year construction of The First African Baptist Church of Savannah was completed, an auction of 400 slaves occurred in Savannah, one of the largest in US history.

After Fort Sumter was attacked, President Lincoln called forth 75,000 soldiers to put down the rebellion.

Some young boys who volunteered wrote the number 18 on paper they stuffed in a shoe so they could say they “were over 18” honestly [a folksy tidbit in Smithsonian].

Elderly Confederate veterans were paraded before cheering crowds during the 1939 ‘Gone with the Wind’ movie premier festivities in Atlanta.

He falls out of character quickly, the drumbeat of battle still hours away, says he’s been a reenactor since retiring from the Army in 2014.  I ask the obvious question for me, “Afghanistan and/or Iraq?”  Like me he was in both wars.  He, a retired Lieutenant Colonel, tells me of going home with the body of one of his soldiers, taking him home to his hometown, at the end of their Afghanistan tour.  I tell him it somehow seems worst when soldiers die with only days left.  He looks at me and doesn’t disagree, but behind his eyes are other deaths he will forever consider.

I think of another Civil War fact, from American Battlefield Trust: Military Losses in American Wars —

Civil War —————————————————————————————— 620,000

Iraq-Afghanistan – 7,000

I tell him I would wish him battle-luck, but, except for those of one Yankee grandmother, all my relatives fought for the South. He salutes.  I flash a wave and walk the grassy lane to the Fort.

Two Rebel soldiers stand before a period plantation house outside the fort’s high earthen walls.  Rifles long and bayoneted, one says to an audience of mostly children that his cap is called a “‘kepi’ based off French headgear.”  His brown-coated chest crossed by straps, holding, as he points to them, “cartridge box,” “haversack,” “canteen.”  His so far quiet fellow, much older, with the same coat and gear but sloppy-brimmed cowboy hat and black pullover-strap sneakers, asks the kids, “Has any of you’s heard a Rebel Yell?”  After they shake their heads no, he lets out a high-pitched yelp that morphs into a guttural bark.  Younger kids laugh and scurry.  He asks if anyone can match him?  Some older boys try, and, as if planned, a cannon’s earsplitting boom sounds from the fort as a shock to everyone, the children dissolving in squeals and laughter.

I walk inside the dim house where women sit around a spinning wheel in period dresses, glazed by light from the crackling fireplace.  One rises to greet me, “Hello, visitor.”  She tells me this is the officers’ barracks, bunk beds lining the walls.  She says enlisted soldiers will sleep outside on the ground.  I think back to sleeping on a cot in the winter woods of Fort Stewart, only a few miles from here, the cold from the ground making my cot feel like a wet towel I can never get comfortable lying on, and that some conditions for soldiers have hardly improved.  I also think that to a soldier these women must truly seem lovely.

Back outside in the daylight I find a seat on a low, mock powder keg, against the faux-coquina side wall of the house, facing the yellow hazard tape closing off the area of imminent battle.  Some families picnic on blankets in the intervening space, some have set up folding camp chairs along the tape.  Children are running everywhere.  A Girl Scout troop marches together loosely to a space near the now taped off footbridge entrance to the fort where a Confederate soldier and a ranger speak to them.  “Sherman’s troops have been sighted by scouts and are close by and a battle is imminent.  The Fort is preparing now.” I pull out the pocket New Testament I carried in the Army to read during periods of waiting.  Looking down, I see a toad sitting in the shadow between barrel and wall make a few hops as I rock my seat slightly.   I read in Hebrews, “In the time of David, and of Samuel, and of the prophets: Who through faith subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to flight the armies of foreign invaders.”

I imagine a rebel officer sitting here last night, unable to sleep while knowing Sherman is coming with his demon’s desire to give Savannah the same fiery fate Atlanta has suffered.  Watching a toad hop around in moonlight,

he mouths a prayer —

Almighty God, whose Providence watcheth over all things, in Thine infinite wisdom and power, so overrule events, and so dispose the hearts of all, that this fight may end in defeat and rout of the Yankees and lead to the honor and welfare of our Confederate States.  Glory to Thee, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Rat-a-tat-tat of a drum about 300 yards away where the Union soldiers are now leaving camp with rifles slung over shoulders in a two-by-two file, heading for a track where they disappear into the woods to the west of Fort McAllister.

Another cannon fires from the fort.  The sun now lighting the western side of the oaks lining the river, makes shadows along the river’s bank.  The fort was never taken by bombardment from the river despite Union attempts by wooden gunships and ironclads during the years of the war.  Now Sherman, needing to move materiel over the Ogeechee, carried by Federal ships waiting offshore, to assist in taking Savannah, sends 4,000 troops commanded by Brigadier General Hazen to take the fort by land.  In the growing exchange of rifle-fire between fort and woods, smoke rises in the woods to give away clumps of Union soldiers.  Things settle again briefly.  Then, sustained cannon fire.  One of the cannons is visible through a valley in the earthen wall, its rebel artillery crew loading, firing, reloading.  Then, another pause.  After some time, an eager boy lining the hazard tape with his father asks, “How many minutes?!”

More rifle volleys come from the woods, and Union soldiers appear between woods and fort making a rough line.  There is a raised soldiers’ chant from the woods then sustained combined yell as Union soldiers race across the open ground and into the moat, through its pickets.  Much gunfire and yelling as additional Union forces run across the open ground, surge into the fort.

I imagine thoughts of a confederate soldier inside the fort as the fighting becomes hand to hand:

A tremor of exhaustion rifles like the wind along our line, and we know our bodies are more than our bodies.  They are the only things holding back the end of our world.

Finally, the yells in the fort cease and a park ranger walks the footbridge over the moat from the fort.  She tells us Fort McAllister has surrendered and invites anyone who wants to enter the fort.  After the crowd makes its way in, the reenactors standing idle now, the ranger says she wants to thank Georgia Department of Natural Resources, the City of Richmond Hill, and all the reenactors.  She tells us the last act of resistance in the fort was by Captain Clinch, CSA, who drew his sword and challenged Captain Grimes of the Union Army, who insisted his fellows allow him to accept the challenge.  When Captain Clinch gained the upper hand by landing a cutting blow to Captain Grimes’ head, Captain Clinch was bayoneted “five or six times” by Yankee soldiers.  However, Captain Clinch would survive, she said, and was visited at his sick bed by Captain Grimes who returned Captain Clinch’s sword to him.  This story somehow believable in a war where men touted valor and honor so highly.

During the waning days of 1861, President Abraham Lincoln signed a Congressionally approved bill creating “Medals of Honor.”  The government presented 1,523 Medals of Honor to recipients during the Civil War, more than in any subsequent war.

After Fort McAllister’s fall, Confederate General William Joseph Hardee rejected Sherman’s demand to surrender Savannah, but this was just a bluff to buy time to recall his troops from their trenches and move them across the Savannah River into South Carolina.  By abandoning Savannah, General Hardee saved it from the destruction Atlanta suffered.  With no shots fired, Sherman’s troops entered the city of Savannah at the invitation of its mayor, and on December 21st, 1864, General Sherman sent a telegram to President Lincoln:

I beg to present you a Christmas gift of the city of Savannah, with one hundred and fifty heavy guns and plenty of ammunition, also about twenty-five thousand bales of cotton.

Four months after the fall of Fort McAllister, on April 9th, 1865, Robert E. Lee surrendered his Army to General Grant at Appomattox, Virginia.  Lee rode away accepting and returning the salute of the Union officers present.

Seven days after Lee’s Surrender, Union General James A. Wilson would besiege Columbus, Georgia, defended by Confederates commanded by General Howell Cobb, and lay waste to much of the city (as yet unaware of Lee’s surrender, Wilson would say after the war that had he known of it, he would not have visited such devastation on Columbus) — effectively the last battle of the Civil War.

That war-torn, hollowed out South an eon ago of 160 years now.

In growing shadows of late afternoon, I walk with families of excited and talkative children back through the portal of the Visitors Center, back into our United States of America.

Steven Croft lives on a barrier island off the coast of Georgia.  His latest chapbook is At Home with the Dreamlike Earth (The Poetry Box, 2023).  His work has appeared in Willawaw Journal, San Pedro River Review, So It Goes, Synchronized Chaos, and other places, and has been nominated for the Pushcart Prize and Best of the Net.

Poetry from Mark Young

The Contender

& so, eventually,

come back or make

a comeback. Such

area contained within

that (missing) space.

Comeback means

trying to get back

to where you were

& hope you make it.

Come back implies

you never left there.

Blink

A participle of

movement. The

running man. Snap-

shot open to

interpretation. Statement

given, vision

attached. Nothing

in it. Wait for. Wait for

the man to pass

by. Ask. Why? State-

ment means nothing.

Formulaic

Look, she said, I

know you’ve got

all these fancy ideas

about structure &

trochees & the

lengths of breaths

but they’re all

far too complex

for me to compre-

hend. My way

is simpler. Go

down to the

beach to do

your writing &

put in a line

break every time

a beautiful body

passes by.

from a past life

Rain, finally, after months of dry. Bucketing down. So dark I turn the lights on at 1.30 p.m. only to have them go out five minutes later as the power goes off. Thunder & lightning, directly overhead, only nanoseconds between flash & crash, not even enough time to say one thousand one. I sit in the open area beneath the house, some meters back but not far enough to escape the rain which sweeps in everywhere. I do not care. The gutters flood. Through a blurring curtain falling off the roof I watch the water start to lap over the edges of the pool. Ten minutes ago it was several centimeters lower down. The cat cowers under another chair. The turtles of the Woolwash Lagoon will be hurrying to lay their eggs. At the first sign of rain . . . Branches break off trees. There are no birds.



The storm moves away. The birds return. The power takes another twenty minutes.

Meanwhile, in the Ozarks

Metal brackets, 18 carat

white gold men’s wedding

ring, no glitch. Advanced

technology, the image

printed directly onto can-

vas, rounded & beveled,

art deco style. Any euphem-

ism for describing queer

people. A real all rounder.

Short story from Nosirova Gavhar

Central Asian teen girl standing out in a grassy field. She's in a flowered blouse with long dark hair.
A Promise

In the bosom of a colorful flower garden, young lovers were looking at each other with bright eyes and excited hearts, the girl:
- May I ask you something?
- Yes, of course.
- Can we have our wedding on my birthday?
- Why on this particular day? There are still ten months to the birthday.
- I want you to play the piano for me on our wedding day. It would be the biggest gift for me on my birthday. It would be a double celebration.
- Say so. Okay. I promise. Of course, I will play the most beautiful tune for you.
Time passed and the wedding day came. Candles were lit, the wedding hall was beautifully decorated, while the son-in-law was sitting in the middle playing the piano, a quiet tune was playing. He kept his promise. But a mournful song dedicated to the bride who recently died of illness was playing in the empty wedding hall…

Nosirova Gavhar was born on August 16, 2000 in the city of Shahrisabz, Kashkadarya region of Uzbekistan. Today, she is a third-year student of the Faculty of Philology of the Samarkand State University of Uzbekistan. Being a lover of literature, she is engaged in writing stories and poems. Her creative works have been published in Uzbek and English. In addition, she is a member of «All India Council for Development of Technical Skills», «Juntosporlasletras» of Argentina, «2DSA Global Community». Winner of the «Korablznaniy» and «TalentyRossii» contests, holder of the international C1 level in the Russian language, Global Education ambassador of Wisdom University and global coordinator of the Iqra Foundation in Uzbekistan. «Magic pen holders» talented young group of Uzbekistan, «KayvaKishor», «Friendship of people», «Raven Cage», «The Daily Global Nation», Argentina;s «Multi Art-6», Kenya’s «Serenity: A compilation of art and literature by women» contains creative works in the magazine and anthology of poets and writers.

Poetry from Ilhomova Mohichehra

Central Asian teen girl leaning to the right, with long dark hair and brown eyes and a ruffly black blouse.
Uzbekistan

My country is always
My dear Uzbekistan.
This girl is rich in beauty,
Narcissus in my garden.

The so-called Uzbekistan
I was born in a beautiful place.
By and by
I pulled out the rock.

Have fun these days,
Flowers open every day.
Birds flying far away,
Happy girls.

Play and laugh at home
Sneak away.
Push your period,
You build the future.

The country is burning for you,
Both parents.
always burning for you
Sweating and burning.

For the value of such a country,
Enough dear friends.
Such a country from the world,
You will never find.

Ilhomova Mohichehra is a student of the 8th grade of the 9th general secondary school of Zarafshan city, Navoi region.

Poetry from Paul Callus and Christina Chin


the intricacies

of a dying art

 – a stave church

marks the end 

of Viking age 

Paul Callus (Malta) / Christina Chin (Malaysia) 

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

after school

where we play catch

— church fields

resound with laughter

and chiming of bells

Christina Chin (Malaysia) / Paul Callus (Malta)

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

amusement park

wide-eyed children trace the path

of the Ferris wheel

the manager gives

a free joy ride
Paul Callus (Malta) / Christina Chin (Malaysia)

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

taking over 

an abandoned garden

purslane and birds

I watch mother fry 

the tasty weed

Paul Callus (Malta) / Christina Chin (Malaysia)

Poetry from Soren Sorensen

36 questions and no answers

What is the universe?

Is there life elsewhere?

And what is the meaning of life?

Is the soul real?

Does it live forever?

Is there life after death after all?

The past time is dead?

The future is a dream?

Is there present time at all?

Or it’s gone as we blink?

Dying before its birth?

Vanishing in the stomach of the monstrous past?

But don’t we hear the birds’ cheerful tweets?

Don’t we see the sparkle of a glistening star?

Or sunlight shimmering between the branches?

Do you still remember your mom’s lullaby?

Your father’s sermon, your teacher’s praising words? 

Where are those reflections?

Those waves of sound?

Are they wandering somewhere forsaken?

Whizzing like maniacs, following skewed paths?

Or did they fade away into nothingness?

Are they beyond the point of no return?

Annihilated in a singularity?

Can I zoom into spacetime’s reciprocity?

Follow those mysterious curved trajectories?

Delve into a wild spatiotemporal trip?

Reach the galaxy’s outer bounds?

Grasp the shadows of past ruminations?

See faces, hear words long over and done?

Reverse time’s stalwart forward tendency?

Can I tell my parents thank you, forgive me?

Can I ask my teacher questions never asked?

What is the universe?

Is the soul real? 

Is there life after death after all?

Zillo

I miss my summer days in beautiful Bradillo,

my grandma’s village on the slopes of mount Gravillow,

its wide wheatfields sparkling with gold and yellow,

its watermill and the spring at the chirping rivulet below.

Summers were hot, apples and pears were ripe and mellow.

I enjoyed leisure days with my friends Blaise and Marcello.

We swam in the creek, despite it being brisk and shallow,

gathered wild blackberries uphill from my grandma’s bungalow.

There was a small woman with a big hump, named Zillo;

she carried water daily with a copper jug, as big as a cello.

Kids would tease her regularly, yelling “Hey Zillo, Zillo,

why don’t you marry me? I’m a real good fellow.”

Once I saw Zillo sitting all alone in the shade of a willow,

like weighed down by her hump. I approached and said “Hello, Zillo.”

She turned, then frowned her eyebrows resembling the wings of a swallow.

Zillo said nothing, yet I was certain she was ready to bellow.

It was many years later when I revisited Bradillo.

I asked my grandma – all grey-haired now – about Blaise and Marcello.

They both had left the village, she said, then I inquired about Zillo.

“Zillo died last year,” she gave me the bitter pill that was hard to swallow. 

I didn’t cry, but deep inside I felt a big hollow.

What my grandma said next, I was unable to follow.

Memories of Zillo were full of remorse and sorrow.

Had she left forgiveness for me, I would gratefully borrow.

Oh you poor hunchback woman, my dear Zillo,

you come to my mind every time I think of Bradillo,

why did you refuse to utter the simple word “Hello”

when I tried to talk to you under that old, weeping willow?

Yellow leaves

Yellow leaves blown by late October wind,

drab sky obscured by frosty, tedious rain

drearily drumming on the windowpane…

they bring back memories I thought were bygone.

                     

            Let the wind blow and the rain fall,

            the past is gone once and for all.

The shady alleyway, the old oak tree and the bench below,        

you and I, and the evening, the moon’s timid glow,

Will you come tomorrow? you pleaded gently seeking reliance.

The wind responded with a soft whistle, then there was silence.

Let the wind blow and the rain fall,

            the past is gone once and for all.

Now I am dreaming that it was today

and that tomorrow was one midnight away.

Alas, it was yesteryear before yesteryear before yesteryear.

Time does not cure; memories will never be wiped away by years.

Let the wind blow and the rain fall,

            the past is gone once and for all.

What I lost one evening is revisiting me on a rainy day. 

I should have known, real things come seldom, they come only once.

The void cannot be filled by belated regret.

I wish someone had told me: You can lose easily but will not forget.

Let the wind blow and the rain fall,

            the past is gone once and for all.

Dreadful mornings

It’s morning again.

I feel the dim light scattered in the room with my eyes still closed.

My brain is waking up to face the terror,

to encounter the reality,

to deal with the twirl of terrifying thoughts…

I wish it was night, a never-ending night.

I would then submerge in a deep slumber,

hide in the bushes, or behind the rocks,

squeeze in my sleeping bag and fasten it tight,

run from the unbearable weight of actuality,

from the creepy spiderlike creature advancing toward me to procure my life,

turn off my conscience,

return to the realm of my whimsical dreams,

the times when life was so cozy, so calm, 

when biggest worries were a lost keychain, a rejected poem, a departed train.

The biggest miseries of yesterday’s life would seem like an invigorating breeze.

Now I’m in a boat that seems to be a flake lost in a rough sea.

I’m unwillingly drifting in empty space encircled with an ominous halo.

My train is nearing a final station…

Still there is a chance, even though a slim, an improbable chance.

Maybe God will be merciful to me.

God?

Someone who never appreciated God suddenly is referring to God’s authority,

asking for almighty God’s benevolence, hoping to be spared by a miracle…

I know some people survive the disease while others do not.

Yes, it’s a slim chance, it’s all in God’s hands.

But if God saved all, then God’s existence would be meaningless,

and if God saved me, then he would instead take someone else’s life,

so my survival would be corrupted, I’d be culpable for someone’s misery.

What should I wish then?

I feel gone astray in a deep forest, a lifeless wilderness.

Fear of death is worse than real death!

I get up, get dressed,

put on my best look and walk down the street.

I smile to people, some smile back to me—

nobody knows what’s hidden inside.

Now my soul is like a swirling typhoon,

next moment it transforms into a desert,

a hollow phantom with bleeding insides.

Still, I am trying to remain focused, to make sense of it.

There should be some kind of justification.

How did I come to this tribulation,

this nonsensical desolate ordeal?

Oh, I think I know, I see the meaning of my destiny.

Yes, it’s payback time—

I pay for the sins I have committed.

I have never been a perfect human,

played a decent man while being a cad,                                     

have betrayed my friends, been insensitive,

have sought gain at the expense of other’s pain…

Oh, how comforting are these memories!

So, I keep digging, digging deep and far,

opening the dark pages of my life.

The spiderlike creature is now my friend.

We dig together and we find bad things, disgusting misdeeds,

shameful acts that you’d never imagine.

The worst of my deeds are the most consoling,

like a sip of water under scorching sun.

They bring ease, relief, gratification.

I feel so relaxed.

What I am facing is so meaningful, so agreeable.

Life’s repudiation seems just and fair after all my sins.

The white horse

(A talented person with a terrible addiction)

You were born to ride a horse,

a white one, a beautiful one,

one that will take you to the top of the hill,

jump over the creek in a magnificent leap,

then gallop fiercely,

ascend and conquer the mountain’s snowy peak,

but the slopes were too steep, the bushes were thorny,

the shrub scratched to blood all your horse’s legs,

the sheer slopes made him wacked and weary,

so your horse opted a different path

into a black forest so dark and dreary,

descending into a watershed valley,

galloping madly, so wild, unruly,

all covered with repugnant black sludge,

unheeding your calls to stop or turn back,

leading you, instead, into a ghastly swamp,

making you whimper and hopelessly bellow:

“I lost my white horse, I lost my white horse,

I lost my white horse…”

Days

Days come and go like flickering flashes of a firefly,
nature changes colors like a chameleon.
Daybreak, noon, nightfall—one more day is gone,
today becomes past, tomorrow—present.

Days are the black and white keys of a clavichord
that play the concerto of our life—
elating tunes like a rhapsody
or chords that echo with your broken heart.

Days are paintbrush strokes on a vast canvas
made of the fabric of our destiny.
Some brushstrokes are bright, the others—murky;
the resulting masterwork is what we call life.

Days are paved like the cells of a chess board.
Some days we walk straight like a magnificent queen,
but then—find ourselves traipsing like a pawn
or crisscrossing wonky paths like a forlorn knight.

Days… There are days we laugh, and days when we cry,

We want to believe that most brilliant days are waiting ahead,

but before they come, we live on borrowed time

and submit ourselves to the wheel of fate.

I had a nickel

I was a schoolboy when I first met her.

We walked down the street and stumbled upon a group of gypsies.

One held my love’s hand and started telling what’s waiting ahead.

The other offered a lovely necklace that I couldn’t buy—

I had a nickel but needed a dime.

I saw a flower in someone’s backyard lawn.

The flower enthralled me by its magic charm.

I came to pick it, but the owner said it was in his yard.

I said I’d buy it, but the price was high—

I had a nickel but needed a dime.

I left my parent’s home, traveled many miles seeking good wages

but most of the days barely earned enough for a piece of bread. 

I received a note that my mother was sick.

I set out fast, but couldn’t afford the journey’s fare—

I had a nickel but needed a dime.

I was like a leaf blown by vicious winds, a motherless child,

Not only were my pockets empty, but also my heart.

I had grit and courage but not a pinch of luck.

My good intentions never came to life for one damn reason—

I had a nickel but needed a dime.

When I grew older and finally managed to save a whole dime,

I came to a path leading to two doors.

The left one was the door to Eden with an entrance fee of mere ten cents.

The one on the right had a sign saying Inferno, five cents.

I knocked on the right door, extended the dime and said Keep the change.

Dreams

My good time is night time

when I am asleep.

I am by myself,

securely shielded by my coverlet

from the grim darkness of the other side,

away from the day’s preposterous whims,

alone with my dreams.

At night I am whole;

none of my troubles bothers me at all.

I can feel no pain,

the images I see are so rich, so pure,

I hear music of fantastic allure, 

my feelings are deep,

the ambiences are a milieu of spectacular scenes.

But my dreams are so real,

yet so perplexing and inexplicable,

sometimes so dreadful and formidable,

often mystical,

supernatural and psycho-analytical,

at times enchanting and inspirational,

at times so unreal, metaphysical.

Yet nighttime remains my favorite time,

when I am alone with my reveries

intertwined with numinous enigmas and awes

that keep me secure from the reality’s frightening claws.

I cannot resist the enticing appeal of the siren songs

calling me to a sublime world made up by my brain,

away from the life’s insipid terrain.

In visible darkness      

In visible darkness of a misty morning

a willow bends to a quiescent pond

to drink, or whisper fond words of friendship

in the obscurity of invisible light.

Silence is hung thick upon the dormant pond,

numinous and dark are the shades of the forest,

all motion has ceased, time is nonexistent,

the nature, it’s no more than a nebulous myth.

A subtle quiver disturbs the languor,

a star timidly flickers in the sky,

a ripple idly freewheels to the shore,

the forest heaves a surreptitious sigh.

A pale silhouette of a unicorn

appears in the far side of the pond,

the breeze opens up the willow’s foliage,

the pond freezes in exasperation.

The unicorn glides slowly ‘round the pond,

from behind the clouds emerges the moon,

the willow sparkles with enchanted gleam,

the pond remains still, soundless and cold.

The unicorn gently nears the willow,

touches the branches, caresses the twigs.

Embraced by myriads tender floral arms

the unicorn takes shelter in the tree.

The crescent slithers back behind the cloud,

all shadows vanish in the nightly haze,

the willow leisurely waves her supple sprays,

the pond stays somber, desolate and dazed.

The unicorn retreats, wanders to the woods

uncaring for the willow’s longing gaze,

the forest stands unwavering, calm,

hiding ages of mysteries inside.

The nature submerges in tranquility,

the sky is murky, the dawn is far,

the ether murmurs a soft lullaby,

the quiet pond reflects a lonely star.

In my life

excuse me,

in my existence

I have reveries, recollections, contemplations,

I have doubts, questions, lengthy conversations

with me, my memories, and my sub-conscience.

I try to untangle knots,

to make sense of my mystical thoughts,

to comprehend my baffling misadventures,

to discern light in the nebulous brume,    

to find justification for life’s repudiation.

In my mind, I travel the landscape of the creation,

ridges, canyons, and dreadful depressions.

At times, it seems to me I see uncanny reflections,

familiar patters coming from the past,

peculiar shades blown from the future.

The knots become more tortuously disheveled,

yet bleak traces of light blink at a distance,

hence, I’ll go on trying to make sense of my life,

excuse me,

of my existence.

Poetry from Engin Cir

Middle aged light skinned Central Asian man with reading glasses, a white collared shirt and black coat standing in front of trees and tables and chairs outside. Framed photo encircled in gold.
Two Broken Hearts 

Staying away from you is torturing me 
Be a little flirty, is there any need for coyness 
While I have opened the door of my heart to you 
Let two broken hearts come together 
If you want to extinguish my burning heart 
This cry of mine is for you, this is a loud call 
Break your horse with spur towards me 
Let two broken hearts come together 
You never show it, you have no words about love 
You have turned to ashes, as if you have no embers to ignite 
Either you are too hesitant or you have no eyes for love 
Let two broken hearts come together 
Don't destroy this ruined heart of mine anymore 
Come hide in my heart and don't come out anymore 
Come on, hold my hands, don't look helpless anymore 
Let two broken hearts come together


NIGHTS DON'T PASS 

Nights don't pass, they don't pass 
Is it possible to get you out of my mind 
Fall into a sleepless night 
I hope you'll understand me then 
You're not on one side, longing on the other 
My poor mind is wasted without you 
If you're left like me in a lonely inn 
I hope you'll understand me then 
When your eyes suddenly fill with tears 
Don't think that troubles will end in the morning 
When you're left in trouble like me 
I hope you'll understand me then 
If the thing you call life disappears one day 
If love, respect, everything ends one day 
If separation comes one day 
I hope you'll understand me then 
Is it certain to reap what you sow 
What do you expect from unkempt soil 
If an old picture makes you cry 
I hope you'll understand me then 


Engin Çir was born on October 29, 1954 in Samsun. He played the alto saz in the school band for two years during his middle school years. In 1970-1971, he continued as a vocal artist in the Samsun Folk Music Association, conducted by Umit Bekir Ağa, for two years. He learned to play the saz on his own. In 1972, he joined the Samsun Music Society Choir, conducted by Taner Cağlayan, and continued his work uninterruptedly until 1979. He entered the Samsun Municipal Conservatory, which was established in 1979. During his four-year education, he took solfeggio and theory lessons from Ali Ozdolap, Ali Özgümüş, Cavit Ersoy, Dr. Turgut Tokaç, Fethi Unal, Nihat Alaca, Şadan Ünsal. Between 1982 and 1989, he studied at the Samsun He worked as assistant conductor and oud player in the Turkish Classical Music Choir at Ondokuz Mayıs University. He passed the Turkish Classical Music pre-listening exam held by TRT Ankara Radio in the 1979-1980 period with an exception contract. He graduated from Samsun Municipal Conservatory in 1984. Later, he worked both as a vocal artist in the executive board and as a lecturer until 1989.