You were the first and I didn’t know what to expect
My mother had forbade me from SSRI’s
when I needed them the most
We had a good run for a few years
but then you took a turn
Left me a dizzy, dazzled mess
Couldn’t drive my car for more than a mile
without swinging open the door
to empty you and my lunch onto the side of the road
Sorry, but we needed to break up
Our relationship was no longer sustainable
I don’t want to ever see you
or the mess you make
ever again
Wellbutrin
I wish I could call you a fling
Truly I wish I’d never swallowed
My mind had never been in such a state
Let’s leave our memories in the past
and never speak of them again
Buspirone
I need you to know
We may have met at the wrong time
In another world maybe we’d be together still
Our short time that we shared
I can hardly remember it except that
It wasn’t you, it was me
Zoloft
We are still limping along together
but I am hoping to see less of you
We started off small
but swallowing 100mg of you
is simply too much
I can’t be the only one putting in the work between us
You make me feel like a shell of myself
I am stuck in neutral
There are no ups or downs
I can’t keep living like this
It’s taking everything inside me
to not throw you out the window
Boiling water
The thing about human minds
is they can make up things
without your permission
Years of craving control and stability
may look like getting a college degree
In spite of your own family
trying to drag you back to them
and all their codependent habits
Five years after you get that college degree
kicking and screaming
You’re still suffering
Your therapist has told you
your family is happy being miserable
and misery loves company
They have shown you they don’t want to change
Stop asking your mother to come see you
Stop calling your grandmother
if she keeps saying anytime is a bad time
You’re her only granddaughter
and she is angry that she has to turn down her television
to talk to you
That isn’t love
When are you going to learn
it isn’t in your best interest to interact with them
You are sticking your hand
in a boiling pot of water
Even if you pour some cold water into it
it’s still going to be a boiling pot of water
You’re still going to get burned
Diamonds & dust
When I asked
why we never wed
I remember you said
You couldn’t afford a ring
A ring?
Such a worthless thing
So I said to you
What is the difference
between diamonds and dust?
They start
with the same letter
and they
are ground dwellers
What is the difference
between diamonds and dust
when the finger
that wears the diamond
turns to dust?
Marissa LaPorte is a resident of Michigan; she holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in English Literature from Grand Valley State University. Marissa has also been published in Wingless Dreamer, The Fictional Café, Speculative 66, Sick Lit Magazine, The Drabble, The Flash Fiction Press, and more.
Raising the war
Like a pet
The tyrants raise the war
At first, they feed it
Their sick dreams
Their reviews of the soldiers under the heat of the summer sun
Maps they have imagined for their conquests
Speeches they have written in dark rooms
The future of our children
And when that war grows
It chews away at us
Every day
Every hour
Every moment
Like a ruminating animal.
Faleeha Hassan is a poet, teacher, editor, writer, and playwright born in Najaf, Iraq, in 1967, who now lives in the United States. Faleeha was the first woman to write poetry for children in Iraq. She received her master's degree in Arabic literature, and has now published 26 books, her poems have been translated into English, Turkmen, Bosnian, Indian, French, Italian, German, Kurdish, Spain, Korean, Greek, Serbia, Albanian, Pakistani, Romanian, Malayalam, Chinese, ODIA, Nepali and Macedonian language. She is a Pulitzer Prize Nominee for 2018, and a Pushcart Prize Nominee for 2019. She's a member of the International Writers and Artists Association. Winner of the Women of Excellence Inspiration award from SJ magazine 2020, and the Winner of the Grand Jury Award (the Sahitto International Award for Literature 2021). She served on the Women of Excellence selection committees for 2023, was a winner of a Women In The Arts award in 2023 and a Member of Who's Who in America 2023. She's on the Sahitto Award's judging panel for 2023 and a cultural ambassador between Iraq and the US.
Our regular contributor, prose and poetry writer Jacques Fleury, invites Synchronized Chaos readers to review his latest book. He will send FREE ebooks to people who will provide at least 50-75 word blurbs in their blogs or on Amazon/Goodreads.
Jacques Fleury’s book You Are Enough: The Journey Towards Understanding Your Authentic Self
There is a deep yearning inside all of us to bring to light what makes us who we are! In this book, you will encounter literature replete with neurodivergent poetry—akin to 18th century English poet Christopher Smart, notable for his visionary power and lyrical virtuosity. You will also discover a collection of well researched writings, both new and previously published, that explore, debate, celebrate and reaffirm the human spirit and its often pathological and pernicious capacity for antiphonal ruminations and self-inflicted pain, a prismatic portrait of triumph over trauma. It is an articulation of metacognition or self-awareness, an attempt to explore the complexities of man’s inner struggle against the backdrop of Global disharmony mediated by our shared humanity. Ultimately a valiant effort in proffering a favorable outlook for an innovative, adaptive and idyllic prototype: unrestrained love, compassion, understanding and acceptance of our truest selves.
Still Some Crazy Summer Wind Coming Through is a collection of prose poems and photography by Canadian poet Brian Michael Barbeito. The writings combine the themes of the natural world and metaphysics in a braided and interwoven journey seen through the phantasmagoric lens of a world that is both physical and spiritual. They are accompanied by landscape photos taken by the author. This unique and inspiring collection includes an introduction by Cristina Deptula, the Executive Editor of Synchronized Chaos Magazine.
Please comment or contact us at synchchaos@gmail.com if either the Fleury or the Barbeito book interests you for review.
Now for this month’s issue: Reflecting Us Back To Ourselves. These submissions, while depicting or exploring different subjects and ideas, also show us parts of ourselves and how we think. As with a lot of art and writing, they serve as pieces of glass within an angled, composite mirror, showing us what we value and find interesting.
Royal Rhodes’ work illuminates how we can find ourselves within cultural artifacts – books, films, and art – depending on where we choose to focus. Christopher Bernard describes the evocative music of a blind singer and what he saw and would have created from a photo of a child’s footprints at the beach.
Stephen Jarrell Williams pays tribute to a writer who followed her craft and philosophical insights and incidentally found an audience along the way. Mykyta Ryzhykh’s play highlights how each civilization and each person is tasked with discovering and creating meaning in life.
Bach Le’s work speaks to being multiracial and his thoughtful, but imperfect, attempts to capture complex and nuanced human experiences through art.
Tohirova Husnova Nurillo crafts a rhymed and metered poem on the importance and value of precision in scientific measurement that speaks to how we seek and understand truths in nature.
Rayhona Jumaniyazova urges people to use language with elegance and compassion. Gulmira Polotova highlights the humanity, caring, and determination in Zarifa Saidnosirova’s play Oybegim Mening.
David A. Douglas draws on the cultural language of movies to illustrate negative drama within a family. Ziyodaxon O’roqboyeva highlights the history and cultural importance of Uzbek fairy tales. Martha Ellen Johnson depicts a mother’s grief as a daughter descends into an abusive relationship.
Randall Rogers disrupts toxic masculinity and fascism with a portrait of his more reasonable father and some mixed metaphors. Bruce Roberts’ anti-Trump poems satirize American politics as Pat Doyne’s poetry draws on Biblical metaphor to reflect on the need to spiritually and morally cleanse the American political scene. Mahbub Alam mourns the political unrest and violence in his native Bangladesh, yet affirms his unconditional love for his country.
Richard Modiano reviews Yahia Lababidi’s Palestine Wail, illustrating her hope for the power of compassion to overcome the power of resentment and war. Lilian Dipasupil Kunimasa asks why humans so often act without humanity, but takes comfort in the earth itself and other creatures to outlast us. Faleeha Hassan uses lipstick, beauty, and the secret confidences of lovers as illustrations of the grace and nuance of everyday life that is at risk in wartime.
Nargiza Xusanova points out the value of simple acts of kindness as Kristy Raines’ work expresses gentle, delicate love. Dr. Prasana Kumar Dalai’s poetry renders the sensitive emotions of a newly flowering love and its loss. Mesfakus Salahin’s poem celebrates the tender beauty of a romance and Gulchexra Iskandarova encourages readers to live simple and kind lives. Zarina Rizoqulova evokes the strength, gentleness, wisdom and grace of Uzbek women, who have traditionally cared for their families and the land.
Michael Robinson speaks to the strength he finds through daily reliance on his Christian faith. Chiniqulova Gulsora finds inspiration and love through practicing Islam. Jacques Fleury’s self-exploration at the end of summer prepares him for a fresh beginning.
Sayani Mukherjee’s piece reflects on how it can be difficult to take joy in simple summer pleasures while the world is burning. Regina Lawless sends an excerpt from her book Do You that depicts her grief on losing her husband. Nosirova Gavhar’s tender story conveys the loneliness and pervasive nature of grief.
Taylor Dibbert comments on the increasing fear in many modern societies. Bill Tope’s story highlights the slippery slope we head down when we begin censoring books and ideas.
Rashidova Shahrizoda Zarshidovna extols the imaginative potential of books and reading. Mark Young graces us with the acrobatic swirls of birds and words on the page. Jim Meirose’s short story plays with words and fragments of narrative and speech. Vernon Frazer’s concrete poetry splashes words around the page as elements in a painting.
Zebo Rahmonberdiyeva points out how gratitude can lead to happiness. J.J. Campbell evokes nostalgia and memories of past happiness amidst his difficult present life.
Shodiyeva Madina points out that happiness comes from within, not from measuring up to others’ standards, as we are all different. Stephen House speaks to humility, not always having to give advice since our world is already full of different people who all consider themselves knowledgeable.
Ismoilova Sevinchoy motivates readers to set aside distractions and pursue their goals. Ozoda Turaqulova proudly celebrates her work anniversary at an Uzbek industrial gold mine. Ahmad Al-Khatat entreats those in recovery to continue their healing journeys.
Jackie Chou speaks to identity, selfhood, and wild and urban nature in her lively and sincere poems. J.D. Nelson’s one-line poems portray brief encounters with the natural world, embedded as we are within it. Kylian Cubilla Gomez’ work highlights the wildness and unruly colors and shapes of nature.
Isabel Gomez de Diego’s photos explore ways we domesticate and encounter the natural world. Daniel De Culla explores children’s complex feelings about eating other creatures, namely, snails. Kurolova Dilnura outlines the study of ecology and reminds readers to care for the environment. O’tkir Mulikboyev encourages proper care and stewardship of nature and water.
Brian Barbeito sends up a fantastical vision of electricity, enlightenment and ladybugs.
Mark Blickley interweaves figures and colors and mixed media to craft intricate collages. Brooks Lindberg touches on cosmology, jazz music, history, and philosophy in his poems. Duane Vorhees illustrates the volatile and sensual nature of romantic love and attraction. Dr. Sajid Hussain evokes the intensity of spiritual emptiness and the joy of enlightenment.
We hope that this issue helps you in your quest for meaning and joy.
Navoi Mining and Metallurgical Combine is 65 years old!
The Navoi Mining and Metallurgical Combine ranks 10th in the world in terms of gold production and reserves. NMMC was founded in 1958. During the 65th year, NMMC has made a huge contribution to the growth and income of the Republic of Uzbekistan, both externally and internally. our enterprise carries out the process of extraction, exploration, processing of underground and surface resources. In particular, the quality of gold castings with a sample of “999, 9”, which has become an Uzbek brand that we produce, deserves special recognition. I am Turakulova Ozoda and I am now 28 years old. I’ve been with NMMC for 10 years now and I’m very proud of it. Congratulations to NMMC on its 65th anniversary. I wish you the first place in the world in gold mining, as well as good luck, big victories.
The world of dreams
At that time, even though I was still young, I still had a small love for books. I still read that book, and I still read this book. But books seemed to me to consist of ordinary pages. Over the years, I realized that books are not just ordinary pages. the book itself is a world, not a manuscript, the book itself is a world. A person reading a book lives two lives at the same time.... Only one life ends when a certain period of time is reached, and the other is absorbed into eternity with memory. while leaving...
Part 1
The door to the land of the book or the beginning of the story
When I was in the fifth grade, I suddenly became interested in fiction. .It has become my biggest dream to read all the books in our school's library and achieve many achievements. I started my work by reading the books in the children's literature section of the library. I was captivated by the works of the famous writer Khudoyberdi Tokhtabayev.
It was at this time that my studies were over and vacation was about to begin. I rushed home. I didn't know why, but I was in a great mood that day. After eating, I started looking through the books I got from the library. First, I looked at Jack London's White Fang, and then Pakhmaq, Avazkhan, and so on. My eyes fell on a book with a white cover and no name written on it. After all, I had never bought such a book. I was surprised. As soon as I opened the book, a light shone from it. but it was empty.
Not many days later, about a week later, I took my books and necessary things and went to my grandmother's village. Because my grandmother spends her annual summer vacation I thought about a book with a white cover. The next morning, when I entered my grandmother's yard, this dream did not leave me. I rushed to the cave. This cave is so ancient that the locals called it the Cave of Life.
Near the cave, a crystal-clear spring gushes out. The ground is covered with green grass. The mountain and the rest of them were connected to the rocky hills, so it was difficult to find such a royal and peaceful place to read a book. With my light, some rays of light flashed blindingly, and I suddenly appeared in a completely different world.
Rashidova Shahrizoda Zarshidovna was born in 2010 in the Karakol district of the Bukhara region. Currently, she is a 7th-grade student of the 20th school in the district. In my tune and in my tune
Motherland, We bow to those who know you, "I will do everything", Rainbow stars, Bilimdon 2018, Zakovat, etc.
She is the first prize winner in competitions. Her creative writings were published in German and British publications such as Just fist edition, lulu, Rashidova Shahrizoda Zarshidovna's work was covered in Ezgulik newspaper. Her stories are on the Wikipedia open encyclopedia and published in a number of anthologies, including Towards My Goals, New Uzbekistan creative collections.
She's also the author of the book The lion called the first flight of the artist.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
to try harder
i usually have to be
pretty fucking close
to drunk off my ass
to try to talk to any
beautiful woman
i don't know
i remember a night
in a club back in
my twenties where
i approached this
gorgeous black
woman and said
some gibberish
she laughed and
told me to try
harder
i laughed and said
something stupid
enough to make
her smile and tell
me to go get her
a drink
when i came back
she was making out
with some other guy
apparently, i wasn't
drunk enough for the
beer muscles to kick
in
but i did enjoy her
amaretto sour
-----------------------------------------------------------------
the locusts
happiness is
one of those
rare events
anymore
i treat it like
a comet or
the locusts
it's not what
i want in my
life, but i
suppose it's
just the way
it is
they say
money can't
buy happiness
well guess
what
neither can
being poor
----------------------------------------------
in cowboy boots
drove past a woman
mowing her grass
in cowboy boots
i smiled
got home to find
my grass being
cut by the cousin
that molested me
as a child
i don't think
you'd call this
a smile
--------------------------------------------------------
the lines of pain
trace
the
lines
of pain
on this
broken
face
the
sweet
caress
of your
bloody
fingers
may
it be
the
last
thing
i
remember
--------------------------------------------------
looking for trouble
it's been years since
i went out drinking
looking for trouble
the last time that
happened i was
taking a girl to
go buy crack at
seven in the
morning
after a long night
of drinking and
fucking around
in some strip
clubs
looking back
i probably should
have had her buy
some for me
J.J. Campbell (1976 - ?) is old enough to know better. He's been widely published over the years, most recently at Disturb the Universe Magazine, The Beatnik Cowboy, Horror Sleaze Trash, The Rye Whiskey Review and The Asylum Floor. He has a new book out with Casey Renee Kiser from RaVenGhost Press, Altered States of The Unflinching Souls. You can find him most days on his mildly entertaining blog, evil delights. (https://evildelights.blogspot.com)
