a passion for life
 
she has this
listless look
in her eyes
 
i once saw fire,
emotion, a passion
for life that burned
like arson
 
the circle is closing
 
death is inevitable
 
only the lucky ever
die happy
 
the rest of us can
only hope to find
something that
isn't too painful
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
pure fucking misery
 
here comes
the rain again
 
a hot august
thunderstorm
creeping along
 
pure fucking
misery
 
one of these days
i'll be lucky enough
to fall asleep in bed
and never wake up
again
 
of course, that kind
of wishful thinking
hasn't got me anywhere
i ever wanted to be
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
hole in the world town
 
i never understood why
anyone would want to
live around a ton of
people
 
whenever i travel south
for one of my mother's
medical appointments
 
i see all the traffic
 
all these overpriced
houses
 
the schools aren't any
better and neither are
the drugs
 
i'll take my little hole
in the world town and
just be fine
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
this is my life now
 
sitting in the car
 
watching it rain
 
insert random
healthcare facility
and any day of the
week and this pretty
much is my life now
 
and i don't want to
come off like i hate
taking care of
my aging mother
 
or that my life would
be oh so much better
if i was the rich one
instead of my sister
 
the way the choices
and consequences
came down were
how it was meant
to be
 
i accept that
 
but i'd be stupid if
i wasn't planning
or at the very least,
dreaming of what
my life will be once
death enters the picture
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
like some math equation
 
not sure how many
times i'm going to
know i'm ready to
die for it to actually
fucking happen
 
even my patience
for that is running
out
 
i wish this was like
some math equation
which would mean
life would be the
answer to this shit
 
sadly, i know that
isn't the case
 
if only...

J.J. Campbell (1976 – ?) is currently trapped in suburbia, plotting his escape. He’s been widely published over the years, most recently at The Beatnik Cowboy, Terror House Magazine, Horror Sleaze Trash, Misfit Magazine and Mad Swirl. You can find him most days on his mildly entertaining blog, evil delights. (https://evildelights.blogspot.com)