Florida Man Rampage Florida Man lives in the Keys listens to loud music alone. Florida Man gets worked up to loud music alone. Florida Man goes outside throws a stone guardian angel from the garden through the window of his house. Florida Man stabs the tire of his car watches it go flat. Florida Man uproots a for sale sign thrashes it until it splinters, hits a metal mailbox with the signpost until it crushes, crushes flat. Florida Man pauses, waits for the arrival of the local police. Music and masturbation he explains make him feel like destroying stuff. Florida Man goes to jail where there will be more of what he already had at home alone. Florida Lawyer Disbarred For Harassing Law Firm Fresh out of law school the new associate worked for six years before being let go. He could not let go. A restraining order was filed. So he backed up a Ford F250 to the front entrance to the firm yanked off the doors ran in and robbed his former office: a safe, a server, a key to the storage unit for two office chairs and an AR-15. He could not let go. So he created a website with the name of the firm, held shareholder meetings at 4 a.m. with the only other shareholder: his twin brother. This disbarred lawyer will not let go. Florida Man Arrested For Felony Theft Of 66 Rolls Of Toilet Paper I do my job, I clean the mess you leave behind not caring about hotel floors, hall carpets trash cans full of empties, full condoms, vomit in baggies roaches, chewed gum, crumbs and spills, I wash lobby floors your dirt, filth, germs that kill I want to stay home, my family needs food, medicine toilet paper ran out so I wheel a garbage can out a back door with a Hefty full of rolls, roll them out to my work van, toss them in the back, fringe benefit hazard pay, it's just paper I clean up your mess yet I get reported, arrested, charged with theft from a public lodging facility a third degree felony, man come on, what about the rooms full of cheating spouses boozers, drug boosters, liars the senators who made a killing on the stock market response to inside news and polls rise for men who shit gold, all I get is more woe and no decent place to go. Florida Man Selling Mansion Pays To Get Rid Of Buyer A Mediterranean style mansion more than 20,000 square feet. She wanted to buy it, said she'd been looking for years. A home theater and 14 waterfalls on 16 wooded acres. She said she had the money proof of funds from a company that loaned her billions. Nine bedrooms, 13 baths, an entertainment wing a pub, poker room, music lounge. Said she'd pay $9.75 million if he threw in the Jimi Hendrix guitar, the Muhammad Ali gloves. A pool with a rope bridge a water slide, swim-up tiki bar. Days before closing she sued him so he couldn't sell to anyone else she had no funds a house in foreclosure a history of bankruptcies. He paid her $300K to go away from the estate he'd built as a luxurious respite from the stress of doing business in Florida: a sunny place for shady people.
Originally from Boston, Mickey J. Corrigan writes tropical noir with a dark humor. Novels include the mystery pandemic tale Songs of the Maniacs (Salt Publishing, 2014), Project XX about a school shooting (Salt Publishing, 2017), and What I Did for Love, a spoof of Lolita (Bloodhound Books, 2019). The Physics of Grief puts the fun back in funerals while taking a serious look at the process of mourning (QuoScript, UK, 2021).