Street Video

These stories almost escaped
from order into dizzying chaos,
with linear cartoon-like panels
in the rows of tenement floors,
letting us glimpse the dramas
inside, without subtitles to read.
The lens took in the flaking paint,
acid-yellow wall-paper strips,
and a woman gazing out at us,
squinting through a bruised eye.

The action moved along from here
to there, inventing a melodrama
of gunshots and alley dumpsters
But we also had seen in the street
the image from a pin-hole camera
a homeless man had documented
from when he was living rough
a block from the stately capitol
where legislators reiterated claims
that no veterans ever slept on grates.
_________________________________

THE SCHOOL MOVIE

Almost as soon as the lights
snapped on as the credits ended
those around me started asking
which character in the film
shot on summer location here
was me or should be me
or why was their cameo cut?
And a few joshing friends
with their cinema radar on
emailed or blogged the same.
Perhaps that sad-sack retiree
who quit, then recanted,
with nothing new to fill a life
spent teaching 37 years,
like a modern Mr. Chips.
("That's Mister Chipping to you")
Or perhaps a gender-bending
version of the straight-backed
harsh female faculty star,
played like, not modeled
on. a former colleague, quick
tongued and creator of quips.
The friends in joking missed
the pathetic theatre of teaching,
the sweaty wrestling with angels,
the jazz of long, dark nights,
the cries of "Help me. Help me."
as we all stepped in quicksand
that we had not seen ahead.
And this film the boy genius
shot was the perfect medium:
the plastic loops of stuff
that will eventually decay,
like our bodies and minds,
the young and old alike,
as the quick, flickering light
passes through and is gone.
___________________________________

TESTAMENT

"Ithaca gave you the beautiful journey..."
                    -- K. Kavafis

His bed table was bare
except for his glasses, propped
up as if being worn,
beside an open book.
Others would later say
outside his poems his life
does not really exist.
The silence here implies
there is "nothing left to give,"
as a darker voyage begins.
His poetry strips down,
exposing itself as prose,
its "double life" is finished.
Later, reading his books
we felt the heat of his work.
 From such a room as this,
with oriental carpets,
a black desk with gilt,
a velvet armchair,
such conventional pieces,
he inhabited his pasts
like bits of arcane clothing,
and he allowed the secret lives
of those who were not consistent,
unsurprised by their faults,
those undone by misfortune,
bad-timing, and knowledge
imperfect in source and expression,
or the crowned goddess of luck
who rules even the gods.
And now he sits alone
in this room without a light,
recalling nights that were endless
in brightly illumined cafes.
He heard a figure at dawn
enter and sit on his bed,
the place where the fortunate die.
Once when asked to write
his farewell, he took a pen
to a drawn circle's center
and placed a single dot.
The glasses he left aside
were for me an empty mirror,
looking at myself
looking at myself.


Royal Rhodes is a retired educator who taught classes in global religions for almost forty years. His poems have appeared in several literary journals. He lives now in rural Ohio.

Five One-Line Haiku

rose blooms of mid-June a dandelion gone to seed

—

near sunset summer’s first bat circles above Broadway

—

staring contest a small rabbit hops out of a bush onto the sidewalk

—

morning errands little horseflies bite my calves & ankles

—

were crews able to put out the fire a bit hazy this morning

—

bio/graf

J. D. Nelson is the author of eleven print chapbooks and e-books of poetry, including *purgatorio* (wlovolw, 2024). His first full-length collection is *in ghostly onehead* (Post-Asemic Press, 2022). Visit his website, MadVerse.com, for more information and links to his published work. Nelson lives in Boulder, Colorado, USA.

The Beacon of Knowledge

In halls where echoes softly tread,
A world of wisdom gently spreads.
Where minds awake and spirits soar,
Education opens every door.

A child’s first steps in learning’s grace,
A teacher’s patience lights their face.
From letters formed to stories told,
A bright future begins to unfold.

The books are gateways, vast and wide,
To realms of knowledge, far and wide.
In pages worn and pens that glide,
Dreams are nurtured, side by side.

The sum of all our hopes and fears,
Reflected in the students’ tears.
For every challenge met with might,
Brings forth a dawn, a clearer sight.

In science labs and art rooms bright,
In every quest for deeper light.
The seeds of thought are gently down,
In every heart a wisdom grows.

Through history’s lens and language’s song,
We find our place where we belong.
In numbers’ dance and nature’s law,
We see the world in silent awe.

For education’s gentle hand,
Shapes the mind to understand.
In every lesson, deep and true,
Lies the strength to start anew.

So let us honor every mind,
With paths to knowledge, unconfined.
For in each scholar’s fervent quest,
Lies the hope to be our best.

Qo’ziyeva Shaxribonu Muzaffar qizi was born on September 5, 2004, in Mirishkor district, Qashqadaryo region. Currently she is a 3rd year student in the Mathematics and Informatics program at Shahrisabz State Pedagogical Institute. She is also a mathematics teacher at School №19 in Shahrisabz district. She is learning Turkish.

To my compatriots

You don’t give equal risk to everyone,

You whole family is a great happiness.

When separated from the gold and the state,

Don’t live in the world.

Don’t worry, don’t worry,

Enjoy the air and the sun.

Don’t let the rich world overflow,

Live close to what you find.

Don’t let sorrows infect your face,

Thank you for every second.

Help good people,

Be a good person, thank you.

Iskandarova Gulchehra was born in the Gallaorol district of Jizzakh region.

I Once Read a Book…

And I thought that was the end of it, but it turned out that the book was on the government’s list of banned books. It was contraband. This caused great alarm among those in power—my teachers and the police. It was further surmised that perhaps I had retained some forbidden knowledge from this book, and that simply would not do. And, as a 13-year-old girl, I needed protection, but from what, they never said.

I was interviewed—no, that’s not right; I was interrogated—by federal and state rectors who evaluated my retention of any information which was untoward and at odds with the national doctrine. They said they worked for the Minister of Literary Discipline. First, of course, they asked me where I had gotten this blasphemous volume. I shrugged. At school? they suggested. I told them no, but they scoured every inch of my middle school—the library, the classrooms, even the cafeteria—turning up nothing. One of my friends, perhaps? they queried. I don’t think so, I said.

Regardless, they made me sit at a desk and write down the name of everyone I’d ever known. It was exhausting. They checked every name and at length found one troublemaker who possessed the very novel I did. They displayed with her the same kind of dedicated fervor that they had with me. I never saw her again. During interrogation, I cried and promised them I’d stop reading books, but they told me said as how I’d made my bed, I’d now have to lie in it.

They said that I’d disgraced my father, who was in charge of the Regional Book Burning Celebration that was held every year at the high school during homecoming. Nothing I said made a difference. My father, who like I said, was an officer with the Book Police, had been beyond suspicion but at last they had to question him and my family. Although he denied everything, they found the book, “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn,” in the bookcase in his den. Thinking that, because of my father’s reputation, they would never look there, I had hidden it away on a back shelf. He was mortified.

My father lost his position; in fact my mother lost her job as well. We’re poor now and when we applied for food stamps, we were told we needed to work in order to receive nutritional assistance. But since no one would hire my parents, we were denied benefits. We had to move from our comfortable home too, and now we scramble from one homeless shelter to the next. We’re allowed inside only after 4 p.m. in order to give my parents an opportunity to search for work. On the streets we’re known as drifters. The food there is pretty grim.

I was expelled from the 8th grade for the remainder of the term and when Mom took me back to register in the fall, they told her I would need “re-educating” first, as I would be a bad influence on the other children, who had not been exposed to the likes of that Satanist, Mark Twain. Mom hasn’t decided yet whether she’ll send me to the re-education facility, but I kind of hope she does. They get three meals a day at Camp Falwell, and I’m awful hungry.

MY GREY DREAM

     I went looking for her, my lost baby. I did not know it would be the last time. I roamed the dry barren landscape at a dusk, no normal dusk, a dusk of broken spirits, a Dante dusk. The uneven ground was tan clay, dry and cracked from lack of sustaining rain. Any sparse vegetation that had once thrived was now brown and dead. Though I stumbled, I persisted in my search. Everything everywhere was dead. I found the building, her new home that an unreal visitor with no name had constructed from slabs of grey concrete, an economy of materials, like the vaults in which caskets are placed before being lowered into the last place they will ever be.

     The building was large, there were no curved walls, no arches. Every surface was rectilinear interrupted only by impressions from where the wood frames held the wet cement as it set into featureless, meaningless, permanent shape. I opened a grey door and stood in the vestibule with a high ceiling, also cast from cement, lit by a dim light from an unknown source. I waited and waited. I would stay there until I knew. 

     There were no colors, no photos, nor paintings on the walls, not even black and white, not even ones dulled, the images obscured from the misguided desire to protect them with non-glare glass, set within thin matte-black frames. There was nothing to break the oppressive, insistent weight of the surfaces. There was no furniture. Nothing. The staircase was entirely cast from concrete leading up to somewhere. There were no sounds at all except the tinnitus always present, even in my deaf ear. The air was still. I felt dread. I felt small. I felt insignificant. 

     Then she appeared on the stairs. “What are you doing here?”; not a question but more of an accusation. She was angry and annoyed by my presence. We had loved each other with the certain seamless love of a parent and a child. There was no trace of that now, though it was there. It would always be there because it was true and real. It was obscured and hidden by a darkness delivered by an interloper seeking only power and control over a fragile, gentle soul.

     I spoke words I did not know I could speak: “I’m here to remove all things inauthentic.”  

     There was no response. She turned in disgust and left. I looked at her back as she left, I feared forever. She continued down the dark hallway to a small, cold, grey-walled room, like a cell, with only a slit of a window that let in a dull green light from which the time of day could not be determined because the time of day was his to tell her. Time was not something she was allowed know by her own deduction. The room had been constructed specifically for her to confine her and limit any sensory input that he did not oversee and permit. It was the room prepared for her by someone or something intelligent and patient who carefully calculated her destruction and began to dismantle her piece by piece from their first encounter until she was only fragments of who she had been; bits he reassembled to construct her as he thought she should be utterly and completely under his control. He owned her thoughts; he owned her dreams, her intelligence, her creativity; her actions were within the parameters he had determined correct. He even owned her defeat, her final surrender and the permanent sadness behind her eyes. Everything that had been her was his. 

     In the grim room was a banquet table constructed from 2×4 seconds and embalmed in Vara-thane that she set with gilt-edged paper plates, plastic flatware spray-painted silver and paper napkins he had l ripped from the dispenser at McDonald’s and which she folded into delicate, yet distorted, swan-like shapes she hoped would delight her only guests; the guests who never questioned nor challenged the world in which he stored her. There, in the only space allowed her, she awaited the arrival of the days’ old crumbs from the rock-bread he had casually left uncovered because he had something else to do; crumbs he decided to toss to her when he needed to affirm his power over anything that sustained her. As per his expectation, she bowed in gratitude as she gathered the crumbs from the dull, unfinished floor. She laid them out as a banquet for the others now gathered in the room; others who had been fragmented and broken, annihilated by another dream person inflated with a impotent rage and driven to dominate and control to hide his insignificance from a terror and self-loathing beyond all reason.

     Taken from her were those who she loved and who loved her; who had supported her and nurtured her and had cuddled her and kissed away her hurts. Gone were those who ran to her aid because of their love and devotion to her. Gone were all who would protect her; all who made sure she was tucked in securely at night her soft, plush toy penguin, her pink velvet froggie, were snuggled around to assuage her fears of another darkness from another interloper. All those who loved her, she abandoned, discarded and vilified at his behest to prove her loyalty to him.

     Now everyone she had chosen to dine with shared in the illusion of a luscious banquet. All were thrilled by the meager crumbs on their plates as though they had been served a luxurious meal of foie gras and truffles, sturgeon caviar with toast points prepared by a skilled French chef. She did not yet know that even those she had found for company among the broken his fear would mandate he bring under his control, too. They would be culled as it suited him until she was totally alone hallucinating imaginary friends to comfort her, reassure her, console her as her loved ones did long ago when she was frightened, but when she was not alone. The crumbs would diminish into only an illusion of sustenance until she ceased to exist and he heard her deliver her last words: “My master, I love you” and his face slackened with the pleasure of complete conquest.

     I was standing in the vestibule but I was no longer waiting. She was gone. Not a single slim thread was left connecting us. All deep bonds that had been between us he had broken. I was dead to her. I lifted a small brown bag that had not been there before. It contained imposter things disguised as the ordinary brought into our family long ago by another darkness. Things I once thought real and denied their inherent dissonance: a 1952 class photo of a smiling blonde boy with crystal blue eyes; a book of Haiku; red enameled cast iron pans. All seemed innocent but the deceptions were revealed upon closer inspection. Peering into the bag: an occasional guttural growl from the blonde boy; the pans: a bloody hammer; Haiku: a book of obscene limericks.  

     I left by the same door through which I had entered. At the top step of the crumbling concrete outdoor stairs, I saw the dead dried grass that had once grown through the cracks but no life remained in the leaves that fluttered from a light breeze that did not refresh. I had forgotten my cane and feared I would fall as I descended the stairs carrying the bag that held the unwanted truths in one hand, the inauthentic old ones I had to carry away and destroy at long last. I did not fall. I found my car. To my surprise her Dad, the dark interloper from a distant time, was sitting in the passenger seat but his visage was translucent and vague; he was disappearing. We didn’t speak. I handed him the bag; it belonged to him. I drove away for the last time. A sadness overtook me and I knew it would be there in my heart, in the place with the defect from my birth, the place on the ventricle that generates the weak beat, even today and until the end.  

2022

The Heartbeat of a Poem

In the quiet of a silent room,
Where thoughts like whispers softly bloom,
A poet’s heart begins to weave,
A tapestry of dreams, believe.

Each word a thread, each line a beam,
Woven into a vivid dream.
Emotions dance, raw and true,
In the gentle flow of ink and hue.

A poem speaks what hearts conceal,
It captures all we deeply feel.
In metaphors and similes,
It sings of life’s sweet symphonies.

The rhythm is the heartbeat strong,
That carries us through joy and wrong.
With every rhyme and cadence fine,
We find our souls in every line.

It paints with words, a world anew,
Where skies are not just simply blue.
In stanzas rich, with depth and grace,
We glimpse the beauty of a face.

A poem is a silent song
That lingers in our minds for so long.
It’s in the laughter and the tears,
A timeless echo through the years.

So let us cherish every verse,
For in its lines, our lives immerse.
In every poem, pure and bright,
We find our truth, our guiding light.

Madinaxon Meliqoʻziyeva was born in 1995 in Buvayda district of Ferghana region. She has a great passion for poetry and creativity, with many dreams and aspirations. In her free time, she writes poetry, short stories, and articles.