Poetry from Joan Beebe

DEWDROP TEARS
 

Joan Beebe (left) and fellow contributor Michael Robinson

Like the dewdrops on a beautiful flower,

The tears fall gently on my face.

The small drops of rain cover the ground

With the tears of heaven reflecting the

Rays of the sun nourishing nature’s gifts,

Those dewdrops sparkle in the sunlight and

The beauty surrounding us refreshes our soul.

Poetry from J.J. Campbell

laughs at impossible odds
she has a smile
that brightens
every room she
walks into
i’d do anything
to make that
woman mine
i tell her that
everyday
she responds
with every
reason why
it would
never work
i tell her i’m
the kind of
asshole that
laughs at
impossible
odds
she tells me
i’m going to
be laughing
for a long
time
i introduce her
to my friend
patience
he guides me
everyday
and one of these
days you’ll get
tired of hoping
to wait me out
————————————————————
when the remote control came along
i remember when
i was little i was
the one that had to
get up and change
the channel for my
grandparents and
my lazy ass father
when the remote
control came along,
my grandparents
were dead and my
father still asked
me to change the
channel for him
when i would throw
him the remote, i
usually would have
to go out and mow
the lawn, again
he would tell me
i was born to be
of service
little did he
understand
my rebellious spirit
would come along
before my teenage
years
—————————————————————-
as the sun was setting
i had a dream
the other night
that buddha was
coming down
from the cross
as i was eating
your cancer out
of your body
we drank rum
in puerto rico
as the sun was
setting
we laughed as
we butchered the
spanish language
as we were the
two white fuckers
on the dance floor
it’s the only time
i ever woke up
on a beach and
wasn’t alone
——————————————————————-
on the toilet
every time i strain
while on the toilet
i think of elvis
and how he died
and each time
i make it out
of the bathroom
alive
yet another day
i’m better than
the king
——————————————————————-
on a hot summer night
i remember years ago
walking this woman
out of a bar and kissing
her while we chatted
at her car on a hot
summer night
i asked if she wanted
to go somewhere a little
more private and she
said no
i went in for another
kiss, thinking she was
cool with right there,
but she stopped me and
got in her car and left
i saw her a couple months
later but didn’t ask her
about that night
i knew the answer
they never tell you
when you are a kid
that not all of god’s
creatures get to be
loved
they keep that myth
alive so children won’t
kill themselves at an
unacceptable age
you know that age where
hope and dreams are shit
that is still possible

J.J. Campbell

J.J. Campbell (1976 – ?) is currently trapped in suburbia, wondering where the lonely housewives are. He’s been widely published over the years, most recently at Fourth & Sycamore, Horror Sleaze Trash, Under the Bleachers, The Beatnik Cowboy and Reprehensible Digest. His most recent chapbook, the taste of blood on christmas morning, was published by Analog Submission Press. You can find him most days on his mildly entertaining blog, evil delights. (http://evildelights.blogspot.com)

Essay from Abigail George

Bullied

 

Sometimes we will watch television together. She will sit like a crouched tiger ready to spring like a mousetrap, her frame hidden by a thick blanket, her legs resting on a stool, the dog next to her where she cuddles him and feeds him titbits off her supper plate affectionately. He doesn’t have to fight for her affections like I do. He transforms her into a maternal archetype of St. Francis. When she shouts, screams, she draws blood. I experience a rush of blood to the head. I see red. A furious beast spurned on by hate and a low, awful feeling of being rejected.

 

I sweat. I levitate like the crescent of a half-moon, glowing resplendently in the night sky. I glow. I shine. I try sometimes half-heartedly not to give in to her insults. How else can I defend myself? My mouth is shut obstinately as if I have just tasted something unpleasant and foul. It is curled at the edges. My lips in a pout.

 

Is she happy? Is she sad? Is she despondent? Is she glowing? What is her ransom that she holds for my happiness? Money. She spends her pay cheque all in one go. She lives beyond her means. She buys extraordinary beautiful things that are expensive and breakable. My father always admonishes her when she spends too much but she never heeds his warnings.

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Synchronized Chaos September 2018 – Raw and Elemental

 

 

 

September’s contributions dig deep down to the essence of what it means to live and exist in our world, both physically and psychologically. Many works present aspects of life as they are, without extra layers of style or idealization. 

Elizabeth Hughes reviews titles in her Book Periscope column that confront and explore intense themes: survival despite violent oppression and displacement in Urmila Patel’s Out of Uganda in 90 Days, love and other reasons why we as human beings connect sexually in Dr. Ramon Pinon’s Friction and Fantasy. Even the title that seems more lighthearted, Cynthia Snyder’s memoir To Keep a Butterfly from Flying, was written to highlight the struggles of international workers aboard cruise ships, some of whom are escaping dangerous situations or poverty in their home countries and seeking an avenue to provide for their families. 

 

Joan Beebe presents western North America’s recent wildfires as an inexorable and destructive force of nature, yet represents subsequent regrowth as an inevitable result. Her other pieces deal with a fearful incident that ultimately reveals itself to be humorous and with changing seasons and annual celebrations. Chimezie Ihekuna also contributes a piece where fire is definitely not romanticized. It’s a real and terrifying phenomenon, yet, like Joan Beebe, he acknowledges that it is temporary and that trees and growth will return. 

 

Vijay Nair writes of female power and male obsession, forces that can destroy as well as create. Sylvia Ofoha takes on a journey through the grief of lost and forbidden love, yet, as with Allison Grayhurst’s poetic odyssey through grief and restoration, she suggests the possibility of healing if we persevere through the trauma. 

 

Mahbub shows us images of growth: people moving forward in their lives, adults learning, small children getting older and more adept and coordinated. Yet along with the growth there are car accidents and interpersonal acts of violence. We’ve got to reckon with ourselves as we live, figure out how to correct our course to minimize our losses as we move forward. Karen D’Antona’s poem, and her daughter Lynda Rondon’s accompanying illustration, acknowledges and mourns the seemingly random tragedies in our lives, with the September 11th attacks on the World Trade Center as an example. 

 

J. Ryberg’s poetry suggests that many things will ultimately end up all right, even when your garden is full of weeds or you come close to the medical definition of death. Even on a lonely journey through the wilderness areas of Wyoming, if you get lost, you’ll find your way again. 

 

Other contributors pipe in about the decisions, thoughts and regrets that get at the core of who we are. Individual people come through in all their glory, wrinkles and all, in Ryan Quinn Flanagan’s poetic vignettes, rife with curmudgeonly humor. J.J. Campbell’s poems present sorrow through the lens of nostalgia for his youth, for what could have been as much as what actually happened. Marc Carver writes about how we find and take our place in the universe. As we sense that death and evil are real, we, like the spider on his ceiling, seek out places where we can belong, where we are noticed and heard, whether by lovers, birds at a park or just random children at a restaurant. 

Chimezie Ihekuna’s next installment of his play The Success Story includes the fateful moment when the protagonist must make a choice that will change his future. Ihekuna also has a new book coming out, The Poured-Out Thoughts, and we have published a collection of links to reviews and excerpts. 

 

Painter Norman J. Olson shares his experience of Belgian artist James Ensor’s work. Ensor was a member of the Belgian avant-garde movement and a precursor to Expressionism. He played with masks and identity, drew upon ancient Biblical themes including the Apocalypse and the entrance of Christ to Jerusalem in triumph (although he replaced the city with Brussels) while responding to his contemporary society. Scholars have pointed to Ensor’s work as an illustration of changes in how Western societies viewed ordinary people. 

 

Doug Hawley presents the tension of changing identity in a more communal, societal sense with his futuristic, hyperbolic spoof articles commenting on the paradoxes of city life: tolerance and economic opportunity vs high prices, crowding and lack of resources. He explores how Oregonians cope with the influx of imagined future Californian refugees, how a more rural area would deal with a sudden rush of people from more urban areas. 

 

Grounding oneself to our physical world can shake us out of reveries and drive us to confront raw, immediate reality. 

Tony Nightwalker LeTigre reviews Doug Cook’s Tae Kwon Do: A Path to Excellence, which highlights the internal psychological effects of the martial arts practice. Ritualized body movement can encourage individual practitioners to change how they think and become more confident, and, in turn, the practitioners are changing how the martial arts teachers conceptualize the practice. Jeongeui contributes paintings of nature that she links to her attitudes and her dreams for her life. As with the practice of Tae Kwon Do, the physical world and bodily experiences can inspire and mirror changes in our thoughts. 

 

We hope that this issue drives home some intense, real, and elemental thoughts for each of you. 

 

 

 

 

Poetry from Allison Grayhurst

Allison Grayhurst

Because it is a Stone

 

 

Because it is a stone

the fire hits it, moves around,

changing shape like a wave.

 

Because grief is not a word

that counts footsteps or encapsulates

the butcher’s madness, just builds like

a deep stagnant pool of a pond – one drop,

one drop, rising.

 

Because all the vegetables have not been picked through,

and more people hold compassion than they do hate,

the tree can grow, the fountain can flow up and make

a statement of solidarity, a sound

peaceful to those who are near.

 

Because the robin keeps coming back

to sit on my lawn, stares at me and waits

for my greeting before moving on.

 

Because hope is red eyes stinging,

but sight unimpaired,

and the darkening shadows darkening

the day-to-day landscape drift –

sometimes far away.

 

Because there is early morning, peppermint tea,

and love abides in everything living,

I can walk another step, another day,

bury the corpse of a treasured friend,

and place something beautiful

(a stone, a whisper) beside the grave.

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Poetry from Ryan Quinn Flanagan

Dossier

 

They probably have a dossier on you,

he told me,

they start with your high school record,

maybe earlier.

 

I told him I did not spend a lot of time at high school

so they might have a tough time.

 

They got everything, he screamed, EVERYTHING!

Everything you have ever thought, felt, done is in there.

 

Really?

I’d like to read that,

I said,

how can I get in touch

with them?

 

They get in touch with you, he warned,

and you DON’T want that.

 

That was the great thing about hanging around

paranoid personalities,

nary a dull moment.

 

Especially when he was off his meds.

 

I’ve seen tornadoes with more sense,

though most of windy Kansas would likely

disagree.


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Poetry from J.J. Campbell

the cure for suffering

i look in your eyes
and see jazz
three different beats
going on at the same
time
and i worry i’m just
trash trying to get
in the cool club
for a change
but
the heart is starting
to feel things it hasn’t
felt since the late
twenties
hopefully these years
have been the cure
for suffering
yet i’ll never fully
allow myself to ever
think you’d ever fall
in love with someone
like me
why would you
young, beautiful
the word still
waiting to bend
a knee
i could
but you might have
to help me back up

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