Poetry from Linda Crate

so my flowers could flourish

despite the fact i watered the flowers of our friendship, there was never any growth; everything remained half-dead and half-living; i got exhausted of being the only one to put any effort in so eventually i stopped—you said you didn't miss people, but you soon found that you did miss me; it was too late

—i tend to give people more chances than they deserve and you were no different in that regard, but i wasn't willing to wait around anymore until you were able to give me time and attention; i have no affection left for you—so when you clawed so hard and so often after i told you we were no longer friends for a friendship i have to admit that i felt nothing but disgust, where was all this effort before? you weren't there when i needed you, yet i was expected to be there at your beck and call when you needed me; friendship isn't supposed to stunt your growth and be traumatic but trauma was all you gave me

—looking back i realize you were a narcissist because nothing that ever happened was ever your fault, you were always the victim even when you weren't; and i got tired of being your punching bag—for my own personal growth, i pulled out every root of our friendship so that my flowers could flourish once more; i am sorry that you miss me but i don't feel guilty for leaving you behind any more. 

-linda m. crate 

with all your need

they say
growth is
moving on,
but when you move
on without them they 
will insist you cannot cut
them out;
as if they weren't the ones
that left you bleeding
with the scissors in your
you gave me scissors so i cut
the ties that tethered us
in togetherness,
and you have no one to blame but yourself;
i needed to grow 
so you could not be hanging on the 
vines of all my flowers
crushing them to death with all of your need.

-linda m. crate 

bigger and better plans 

remember that promise
you gave me?
gave me a false sense of security
as i was under the assumption
we'd grow old together,

but that was just a lie you 
told to keep me tethered to the
many tongues of your lust;

growth came after you abandoned me
and married the woman you cheated on me with—

one autumn day i woke up and the agony
was gone,
i could bloom and live and be again;

rediscovered my magic and reclaimed my voice
and danced in my muchness once more—

every day i grow more and more 
into who i was meant to be,
and the universe had bigger and better plans
for me than to be the wife of someone
insincere and untrue.

-linda m. crate

but i do regret

they want to take credit
for your growth
when it was all your effort,
and they didn't do a damn
thing to better your life;

so many say forgive and forget
and there will be no regret—

but i do regret giving people
more chances than they deserved,
some people didn't deserve my
and thought they could simply use
me over and over and over again—

the key to growing is ignoring what they
have said about me,
and though sometimes i get angry they take
credit for my efforts they're going to think what
they want to and so i keep growing toward the sun
and let them wilt alone in the angriest
of suns.

-linda m. crate 

no longer stained 

you wanted a damsel in distress
that you could dress in any garb
you thought could make you shine
in the best light, but instead you
found a warrior in a dress;

now you paint me the villain of your tale
but you've never been a hero to anyone
not even yourself—

when the illusion fades, they won't love you;
because they have fallen in love with 
the mask of you who they thought was you
who i  thought was you before you revealed 
your true nature to me—

glancing over my shoulder i am not sorry
that you are my past and will never be my future,

but if i must be the villain then i will be the one
that wins; i will be the one that they will love
and they will say that you deserved your end—

i will just be grateful that you name no longer
stains my heart.

-linda m. crate 

without a prayer 

you are without a prayer,
the moon won't save you;
she is my mother and she knows
how you tried to shatter my light

until only darkness remained—

i think she hates you more than i
ever could, her grudge is somehow
hotter than the sun and colder than the
coldest of rains; and if one of us
must go down she says it's going to be you—

there was a time i would cry at the thought
of you being left lone in the darkness,

but now i see that perhaps it is everything
you deserve because of all the darkness you've
brought others; all of the magic you have
destroyed and all the magic you tried to—

i have refound myself and claimed my magic,
and i know that you've made me a villain in your
narrative so let me destroy you in my chaos.

-linda m. crate 

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