Why Me? I have Tourette’s syndrome and bipolar disorder yes blessed with them both And once I was even arrested under oath One is neurological no one can explain The other is caused by the unnecessary pain Normal basic an average are words of dismay I’m here to share with you there is another way No need to judge another for how they make you feel Take a look in the mirror and see what is real Love is truly the answer thank you God above Even Sigmund Freud said hard work and love As we open up our backpacks and take one thing out You can always put it back in if you have a doubt Life is not easy no manual given at birth Yet 8 billion humans exist together on earth There is no one like you nor anyone like me Put one foot in front of the other and soon you shall see That God above has never let us down It’s time to hold hands again my friends in each and every town Trauma It happened at birth a coma for me, for others I'm not sure The fact of the matter is, there is no cure It comes in many avenues, from physical to the mind There is no defining it, no particular kind Some have it for a lifetime, some right away If we don't deal with, forever it will stay Exposure to so many has really made me ache Accepting my own trauma has really made me wake The pain is deeper than I ever thought it could be As I open my heart to others they can clearly see How much I am hurting over this recent tragic loss Not only losing my wife but dealing with a horrible boss What I am realizing is that I am not alone Coming together with complete strangers and seeing how they have grown Gives me inspiration way beyond belief Never did I imagine there could be so much relief I thought I was alone suffering this awful pain Thinking I was crazy, literally going insane Listening to their stories as they share their lives with me Has surely made me realize that I can plainly see That trauma is a creature that comes in many ways I am thankful for this experience and cherish all my days As I wake each morning wondering what the day will bring And listen to birds outside my window sing I can't help but think and hope that each day brings a smile To everyone's lives that's here on earth for only a little while I pray to God each night as I lay my head down to rest That ALL our trauma lives will turn out for the best My trauma is forever, but my heart is now stronger For human bond and love of life will last even longer Tourette's and Bipolar Disorder, Yes, Both Hey, Darin and Marcy, I finally found out I have Tourette's, holy shit! "You can have them all little sons of bitches and get away with it!" In Tau Kappa Epsilon, my fraternal name was "Twitch." A term of endearment, a nickname I will never ditch Living thirty-five years of my life, always wondering why I would go from complete laughter to a sudden tearful cry Teased my entire childhood mainly by those we "trust" Adults were the worst of all; high school was a fucking bust Called a son of a bitch by Dale Thomas and literally kicked out of class And Jeff Nynehouse, "I can't handle you on the bus," what a fucking ass My label given to me has long been misled Even those who have this "gift" have been misled Medication was prescribed; what a fiasco that became It is not okay for medical professionals to cause "US" to go insane The only neurological disorder known to those prescribing drugs Sorry, Dr. Narus, LOVE is the answer; please start prescribing "hugs" "I want some of what you're on, can I have some SHIT?" "I have Tourette's, you want some of IT?" My final straw came when I was arrested and thrown in jail "DUI other than alcohol," just try and make bail Before you judge those of us who suffer from this pain Think to yourself, "What do I have to gain?" We all have a disability; just take a look in the mirror "Can I walk on water?" or do I just have a fear? How to accept others, no matter the twitch, the glasses, or the creed Thank God for those who can understand why I choose to smoke weed It is the only true relief I have ever had other than LOVE "Footprints in the Sand," my friends; thank you, God above So often people walk away or simply want to ignore Maybe Tourette's will go away, we won't have to deal with "THEM" anymore To all of you that have this "gift," the one that makes me, ME Don't ever let them put you in the "box," live and be free I am proud of my life each and every day Of course, there are times I think, make IT go away" So when you are passing judgment or "choosing" to discriminate You are one of "THEM," you are causing the HATE!
This poem is from William Hartwick’s book The Invisible Backpack. which is available for order.
The Invisible Backpack is a labor of love created from a life-long struggle to come to terms with who the author is and accept himself as he was meant to be. We are all born with an invisible backpack on our backs. It is where we put all the hurts of life. When we are young and courageously climbing the stairs of life, it is extremely light, and we really don’t know it’s there. As we get older, it gets heavier with whatever pain, grief, or trauma we experience. Unfortunately, we resist taking these feelings out of our backpacks and let go of them. Some of us hold onto them so tightly, we forget to make room for the things that lighten our load…forgiveness, acceptance, tolerance, and love. For if we can put these items in our backpacks, it will cancel out all of the negative things we’ve been holding onto, and our life journeys will become much lighter.