Step Five: Admitted to god, ourselves & another human being
– First confessional
Bless me father for I have sinned. I’m not going to tell
you I don’t buy anything you’re selling. Or twelve years
from now I’ll be driving blackout drunk, arm roped out
the window. You are not going to hear that twenty years
from now I will know the barrel of a gun tastes sour cold
sharp. You’ve no idea that one day she’ll not have to say
a word. The sky will burst in flames, heavens will plunge
into the sea. So, go ahead Father, tell me God’s forgiven
my sins. To go in peace. I have paid my penance by fire
and ash. Been absolved in cinder and smoke.
How to Drink Yourself Sober
Preamble: The only requirement is a desire to stop drinking
Let it bleed baby, bleed till we’re white. We are pale riders. Ghosts sucking the light
out of the tunnel, our bones left to blot out the sun. We are sons and daughters waiting
to mourn; ready to set the world on fire.
she calls me by name but I don’t recognize her
voice, the smell of her perfume, soap, shampoo
her body against mine is light:
all legs, long hair and ready
to start a revolution
she starts to say something but I can’t hear
I can only watch,
thinking I’m clever, knowing
she can see right through me
I am that fly on the wall. Yes. A thousand eyes. Unfocused, unclean, unable to swallow
and she knows. Yes she does. It is not to her advantage to forget. She’s watched
every move I make. I know. I know and there is power in knowledge.
I have that power. Don’t waste it. Don’t waste it.
How to Drink Yourself Sober
A Design for Living
When she’s five her mother spun a tale
of an angel who dropped to earth,
landed in a quarry.
She fell in love with a mortal,
asked him to bind her wings tight
against her back,
tried unsuccessfully to fit into his world.
Years later, when he died, she found herself
unable to fly back to heaven.
In her grief she flung herself into a marble slab
where she waits, to this day, for god to split it
in two to be reunited with him.
Alex Stolis lives in Minneapolis; he has had poems published in numerous journals. Two full length collections Pop. 1280, and John Berryman Died Here were released by Cyberwit and available on Amazon. His work has previously appeared or is forthcoming in Piker’s Press, Jasper’s Folly Poetry Journal, Beatnik Cowboy, One Art Poetry, Black Moon Magazine, and Star 82 Review. His chapbook, Postcards from the Knife-Thrower’s Wife, was released by Louisiana Literature Press in 2024, RIP Winston Smith from Alien Buddha Press 2024, and The Hum of Geometry; The Music of Spheres, 2024by Bottlecap Press.
Christopher Bernard will be reading at the Poets for Palestine SF Marathon Reading at San Francisco’s Bird and Beckett Bookstore. For a donation of any amount to the Middle East Children’s Alliance, a nonpartisan and nonpolitical organization helping all children in the region, poets can come and read at any time at the store on October 14th, Indigenous People’s Day. Please feel welcome to sign up here or email poetsforpalestinesf@gmail.com to be scheduled.
This month’s issue addresses our fears and aspirations: whether life will become what we dread, or what we hope.
Wazed Abdullah revels in the joy of the Bangladesh monsoon as Don Bormon celebrates flowers and wispy clouds in autumn. Maurizio Brancaleoni contributes bilingual haiku spotlighting days at the beach, insects, cats, and the rain. Brian Barbeito shares the experience of walking his dogs as summer turns to fall.
Soren Sorensen probes and stylizes sunsets in his photography series. Lan Qyqualla rhapsodizes about love, dreams, flowers, colors, poetry, and harp music. Ilhomova Mohichehra poetically welcomes autumn to her land.
John L. Waters reviews Brian Barbeito’s collection of poetry and photography Still Some Summer Wind Coming Through, pointing out how it showcases nature and the “subtle otherworldly” within seemingly ordinary scenes. Oz Hartwick finds a bit of the otherworldly within his ordinary vignettes as he shifts his perspective.
Kelly Moyer crafts stylized photographic closeups of ordinary scenes, rendering the familiar extraordinary. Ma Yongbo paints scenes where ordinary life becomes unreal, suffused with images associated with horror.
Sayani Mukherjee speaks of a bird’s sudden descent into a field of flowers and comments on our wildness beneath the surface. Jake Cosmos Aller illustrates physical attraction literally driving a person wild.
Mesfakus Salahin asserts that were the whole natural world to become silent, his love would continue. Mahbub Alam views life as a continual journey towards his beloved. Tuliyeva Sarvinoz writes tenderly of a mother and her young son and of the snow as a beloved preparing for her lover. Sevinch Tirkasheva speaks of young love and a connection that goes deeper than looks. llhomova Mohichehra offers up tender words for each of her family members. She also expresses a kind tribute to a classmate and friend.
Meanwhile, rather than describing tender loving affection, Mykyta Ryzhykh gets in your face with his pieces on war and physical and sexual abuse. His work speaks to the times when life seems to be an obscenity. Z.I. Mahmud looks at William Butler Yeats’ horror-esque poem The Second Coming through the lens of Yeats’ contemporary and tumultuous European political situation.
Alexander Kabishev’s next tale of life during the blockade of St. Petersburg horrifies with its domestic brutality. Almustapha Umar weeps with grief over the situations of others in his country.
In a switch back to thoughts of hope, Lidia Popa speaks to the power of poetry and language to connect people across social divides. Hari Lamba asserts his vision for a more just and equal America with better care for climate and ecology. Perizyat Azerbayeva highlights drip irrigation as a method to tackle the global problem of a shortage of clean drinkable water. Eldorbek Xotamov explores roles for technology and artificial intelligence in education.
Elmaya Jabbarova expresses her hopes for compassion and peace in our world. Eva Petropoulou affirms that action, not mere pretty words, are needed to heal our world.
Ahmad Al-Khatat’s story illustrates the healing power of intimate love after the trauma of surviving war and displacement. Graciela Noemi Villaverde reflects on the healing calm of silence after war.
Meanwhile, Christopher Bernard showcases the inhumanity of modern warfare in a story that reads at first glance like a sci-fi dystopia. Daniel De Culla also calls out the absurdity of war and the grossness of humor in the face of brutality.
Pat Doyne probes the roots of anti-Haitian immigrant rumors in Springfield, Ohio and critiques fear-mongering. Jorabayeva Ezoza Otkir looks to nature for metaphors on the corrosive nature of hate.
On a personal level, Nosirova Gavhar dramatizes various human responses to loss and trauma. Kendall Snipper dramatizes an eating disorder ravaging a woman’s life and body.
Donna Dallas’ characters are lonely, bruised by life, and drawn to what’s not good for them: drugs, bad relationships, lovers who don’t share their dreams. J.J. Campbell evokes his miserable life situation with dark humor.
Meanwhile, Maja Milojkovic savors each moment as she creates her own happiness through a positive attitude. In the same vein, Lilian Dipasupil Kunimasa celebrates the power of a free and self-confident mind and the joy of spending time with small children.
Tuliyeva Sarvinoz urges us to move forward toward our goals with faith and dedication. Numonjonova Shahnozakhon echoes that sentiment, encouraging perseverance and resilience. S. Afrose resolves to move forward in life with optimism and self-respect.
Michael Robinson reflects on the peace he finds in his continuing Christian walk. Federico Wardal reviews anthropologist Claudia Costa’s research into spiritual fasting practices among the Yawanawa tribe in Brazil.
Duane Vorhees explores questions of legacy, inheritance, and immortality, both seriously and with humor. Isabel Gomes de Diego highlights Spanish nature and culture with her photographic closeups of flowers, religious icons, and a drawing made as a gift for a child’s parents. Federico Wardal highlights the archaeological findings of Egyptologist Dr. Zahi Hawass and his upcoming return to San Francisco’s De Young Museum. Zarina Bo’riyeva describes the history and cultural value of Samarkand.
Sarvinoz Mansurova sends outlines from a conference she attended on Turkic-adjacent cultures, exploring her region as well as her own Uzbek culture.
Barchinoy Jumaboyeva describes her affection for her native Uzbekistan, viewing the country as a spiritual parent. Deepika Singh explores the mother-daughter relationship in India and universally through her dialogue poem.
David Sapp’s short story captures the feel of decades-ago Audrey Hepburn film Roman Holiday as it describes a dream meeting between lovers in Rome. Mickey Corrigan renders the escapades and tragedies of historical women writers into poetry.
Duane Vorhees draws a parallel between Whitman’s detractors and those who would criticize Jacques Fleury’s poetry collection You Are Enough: The Journey To Accepting Your Authentic Self for having a non-traditional style.
This set of poems from Jacques Fleury expresses a sophisticated childlike whimsy. A few other pieces carry a sense of wry humor. Daniel De Culla relates a tale of inadvertently obtaining something useful through an email scam. Taylor Dibbert reflects on our escapes and “guilty pleasures.”
Noah Berlatsky reflects on both his progress as a poet and editors’ changing tastes. Sometimes it takes growing and maturing over time as a person to create more thoughtful craft.
Alan Catlin strips artworks down to their bare essential elements in his list poetry, drawing attention to main themes. Mark Young focuses on kernels of experience, on the core of what matters in the moment. J.D. Nelson captures sights, experiences, and thoughts into evocative monostich poems worthy of another reading.
Kylian Cubilla Gomez’ pictures get close up to everyday miracles: a beetle, car components, action figures, a boy in a dinosaur costume.
We hope that this issue, while being open about the worries we face, is also a source of everyday miracles and thought-provoking ideas. Enjoy!
The goal
If you strive for a goal,
There will be a lot of friends.
If you agree with me,
The flower of desire also withers.
Did you fall, stand up quickly
Get up even if it hurts.
keep your head up
Don't be fooled.
Good luck if it doesn't come
Don't be sad and worried.
Don't bend, don't bend.
It is necessary to stand up for you.
There is wisdom in everything,
Do not wet your eyes.
Enjoy this job,
You will not be less than anyone.
Life goes on
Do not lose your passion.
Your flower goes out of hand,
Don't land the blackbird.
Numonjonova Shahnozakhon. She was born on June 7, 2009 in Fergana region. Currently, she is studying at the creative school named after Erkin Vahidov organized by PIIMA. Her creative works have been published in several international magazines and has various international certificates. The creator's future goal is to become an international ambassador and receive a state award named after Zulfiya.
Scripture: Hebrews 11:6 (MSG) – “It’s impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to approach God must believe both that he exists and that he cares enough to respond to those who seek him.”
Message: My Christian walk started in childhood. I felt alone in the middle of the street, not knowing where I was to go. I was about eight or so at the time.
I remember that night and the fear and the confusion and the uncertainty. My foster mother, Dee, spoke of Jesus often. In my fear and loneliness, Jesus came to me. I thought about dying. There were many times since then that I felt alone.
The tears often fell down my cheeks. Throughout the years I always prayed for God to “Help me!” I can only describe a sense of peace and comfort as I prayed. This feeling remains with me to this day at the age of sixty-seven.
I always thought that only God could give me the sense that I was not alone when I prayed my “Help me!” prayer. The comfort and peace and wholeness was strongest in the sanctuary of my heart.
Today, no matter where I am I know Jesus is walking with me. I often return to the sanctuary of my heart seeking His comfort and peace which came that night as a child standing on the corner. It is there where I still find His comfort, His peace and His guidance for which I am most grateful.
Prayer: My Heavenly Father who created me, You have given me Your Holy Son to walk with me throughout my life. You have never forsaken me, nor have You left me to die in the streets. You have poured out Your love for me and placed it in my heart. I praise You and vow to continue to love and cherish You for all eternity.
Elmaya Jabbarova was born in Azerbaijan. She is a poet, writer, reciter, and translator. Her poems were published in the regional newspapers «Sharginsesi», «Ziya», «Hekari», literary collections «Turan», «Karabakh is Azerbaijan!», «Zafar», «Buta», foreign Anthologies «Silk Road Arabian Nights», «Nano poem for Africa», «JuntosporlasLetras 1;2», «Kafiye.net» in Turkey, in the African’s CAJ magazine, Bangladesh’s Red Times magazine, «Prodigy Published» magazine. She performed her poems live on Bangladesh Uddan TV, at the II Spain Book Fair 1ra Feria Virtual del Libro Panama, Bolivia, Uruguay, France, Portugal, USA.
Everyone faces various difficulties and obstacles in their life. In such situations, a person sees himself as a helpless servant who can do nothing and becomes depressed.
So, what kind of people do you think can overcome difficult situations and endure difficulties?
“Behind every work there is good.” as they say, only people who believe in their knowledge and strength, who have full faith in their hearts, who strive forward despite any obstacles, will achieve success…
You can see someone’s life and achievements and say, “Oh, I wish I could achieve such achievements.”
But the work is not done with enthusiasm, it takes effort and self-confidence. Your goal in life is not to be like someone else, it is important to be yourself, to have your own place, your own self. In this way, working tirelessly and acquiring new knowledge will help you.
Have you set a goal, try to achieve it! You can do it! You are a successful person! Move forward to great goals in life!
Tuliyeva Sarvinoz is the winner of the state award named after Zulfia (2019). She’s a teacher of native language and literature at Shaikhontohur District Vocational School, Tashkent and the author of the poetry books “Song of Peace”, “I am a Girl of Truth”, “Morning Poem”.
