Synchronized Chaos’ First May Issue: Fluidity

Announcing that contributor Michael Steffen has a new book out, I Saw My Life.

About I Saw My Life: From the saying “I saw my life flash before my eyes”, the book’s title announces thresholds, things and moments of arrest and luminosity, resplendent, but also shocking as a near-death experience might be, and fleeting as any flash may be. The stars in their constellations at night glimpsed up through leaves of a tree, the drama of a scull tipped in a powerful mid-river current, a woven shopping handbag, such objects in their places and handling evoke the weights and sensations revisiting the body in reflective memory, at the heart of poetry’s deeply personal yet widely shared and recognized expressions.

It’s available for review from Lily Poetry Review’s press.

This month’s issue rides high on a wave, surging towards us with a theme of Fluidity.

Image c/o George Hodan

Some contributors literally speak of water. Eva Lianou Petropoulou personifies the creatures of the sea as she calls for an end to litter and pollution. Xoʻjyozova Dildora discusses environmental damage to the Aral Sea and efforts to restore the ecosystem. Elaine Murray celebrates the wonder of the ocean, wishing to become a mermaid. Brian Barbeito recollects being stung by a jellyfish, resting, and turning out okay in time, comforted by natural and literary beauty. Later, he celebrates the seafaring-inspired writing of Joseph Conrad.

Others address different aspects of life that can feel fluid, such as light and vast open landscapes. Juan Vadillo’s review describes Beatriz Saavedra Gastélum’s poetry collection, “Lucid Breath of Light,” as a journey exploring light in its various forms, memories, and transformations. Mesfakus Salahin immerses himself into nature and creativity. Stephen Jarrell Williams’ serene piece evokes a feeling of gentle tranquility. JoyAnne O’Donnell meditates on a pleasant afternoon outside in a meadow. Sheikha A.’s short, lyrical pieces use vivid imagery and concise language to evoke a range of natural and serene scenes. Sayani Mukherjee celebrates the beauty and splendor of an outdoor festival. Yee Leonsoo’s poems use extreme natural places (a salt desert and a deep-sea sinkhole) to explore identity, memory, and the feeling of in-between-ness. Mark Young’s geographies creatively mutate random regions of Australia into works of art.

We can also perceive time as more fluid than linear. Chuck Taylor explores the idea of the “now” and how it can be captured in words, considering the brief moments between perception and recording. Barbaros İrdelmen’s pieces intertwine ordinary images with themes of love and loss to explore how human connection, memory, and longing persist within and against time’s flow. Kareem Abdullah speaks of love, longing, and memory. Mustafa Abdulmalek Al-Sumaidi reminds us that we are all mortal. Abdel Iatif Moubarak renders up a tale of a singer’s faded glory still piercing the darkness of night.

One’s personality and attitudes also morph and shift over the years. Sevara Matnazarova outlines how her personality and outlook on life changed as she grew older. Susie Gharib’s work addresses authenticity, self-expression, and a desire for a more compassionate and peaceful existence. John Grey’s work explores vulnerability and resilience within the human (and natural) experience. Elisa Mascia’s pieces draw upon changeable natural phenomena such as wind and butterflies to dramatize introspective and emotive explorations of love, loss, and transformation. Yeon Myung-ji’s poem uses the act of shelling beans as a rich metaphor for introspection, resilience, and the quiet, often overlooked, processes of life and growth. Duane Vorhees’ poems explore themes of love, identity, and transformation, often blurring the lines between reality and fantasy. Nattie O’ Sheggzy delves into the complexities of simple things and searches for meaning, beauty, and authenticity in a chaotic and often dissonant world.

A whole set of poems by Niall McGrath explore themes of memory, identity, social commentary, and personal struggle, often set against the backdrop of Northern Ireland. Poet Michael Todd Steffen, interviewed by Cristina Deptula about his new book I Saw My Life, explores the intersection of personal and historical memories, identity, and mortality, aiming to inspire reflection, acceptance, and a deeper appreciation for the world around us. Lan Xin highlights how holding space for wonder and gratitude can enhance our daily lives. Kandy Fontaine’s piece mixes theater and prose, celebrating artist Tricia Warden and the intersection of art, literature, and identity, particularly in the context of feminist and queer perspectives.  Christopher Bernard kicks off the next installment of his children’s story Otherwise, a mixture of cultural thought, suspense and middle-grade energy. Tanja Vučićević describes a personal journey, both physically and emotionally, as they navigate through challenges and seek solace and salvation.

Image c/o Jacques Fleury

Writing can play a part in personal reflection and development. J.J. Campbell uses poetry to process his own experiences and emotions and to comment on the human condition. Yongbo Ma’s poems are reflective and introspective, exploring themes of isolation, disconnection, and the search for meaning. Manik Chakraborty wakes us up with the graceful hope of a new morning and continues to seek artistic inspiration despite abandonment from a muse. Ryan Quinn Flanagan probes ordinary life with a poet’s eye, considering the significance of even mundane objects. Jacques Fleury uses rich imagery and references to mythology and literature to highlight the owl’s dualistic nature, embodying both positive and foreboding qualities. Ananya Guha creates a place where a moment of fear and the stories told about it later blend together into a lasting personal myth, half memory, half ghost story. High school English student Reilley Andre expresses a mature perspective on life, pointing out how different people see matters from various points of view, expressing grief, and showing gratitude for his caring sister.

Some love can remain steady amid the flow of time. Gulsanam Mamasiddiqova offers up words of respect and love for her father. Mubina Botirova expresses her love and gratitude for her mother. Tursunova Mehrinoz Oybek qizi pays respect to her mother’s dedication and kindness. Gulchiroy Axmedova expresses tender sentiments of motherly care. Afrose S. celebrates childhood and urges people to protect children. Prasanna Kumar Dalai evokes the tenderness and fragility of early love. Anwer Ghani depicts a steady, tender, and elegant love. Anindya Paul speaks to a profound and intimate romantic devotion that lingers after death. Daniela Chourio-Soto expresses nostalgia through the means of scent. Yongbo Ma’s playful work also encompasses themes of love and human romantic connection.

Of course, not all love stories end happily, and loss is a part of the human condition. Leon Drake’s poems of heavy nostalgia mourn words left unspoken and relationships left unexplored. Donna Dallas speaks of trauma, monstrosity, addiction, and toxic relationships. Kassandra Aguilera’s fragmented poem explores the intoxicating and often painful dynamics of infatuation. On a broader scale, Milena Pčinjski laments the weight of a troubled world, all that could be and all that will never be. Yet, vulnerability is not necessarily weakness, but a prerequisite for change and growth.

Love and caring can also encompass more than one’s own inner circle. Several contributors discuss the fluid state of societal and international relations and advocate for peace and justice. Alan Catlin’s work highlights the human cost of war and its echoes in art and the human soul. Abigail George’s melancholic, reflective poems mourn destruction in Gaza and a personal loss. Shlok Pandey’s fictional story is a poignant portrayal of the human experience during wartime. David Kokoette describes age-old power dynamics and struggles. Mark Wyatt’s fragmented pattern poetry calls out the atrocities made possible by unquestioning obedience to religious and political dictates. Patricia Doyne mocks Donald Trump’s pursuit of grandeur as Bill Tope presents another satirical take on Trump’s proposed arch. Staci Modisette reminds us to protect ourselves while speaking up for peace and justice. Eva Lianou Petropoulou’s gentle words are set to ethereal vocals and a drifting background melody, with an encore here. Аshurоvа Dinоrа Аnvаrqul qizi outlines the role of Uzbekistan’s National Center for Human Rights.

Image c/o Andrea Stockel

Cultural and world history might seem static, but it can also be fluid in the sense that we remember it differently, or remember different aspects of it, over time. What and how we remember can have repercussions in the present. Lan Anh, a Vietnamese economics student in Germany, illustrates the intricate web of relationships between nations, economies, and people, highlighting the invisible boundaries that connect and impact lives in unseen ways. Muhammadyusuf Kozimjonov outlines the historical and cultural development of Uzbekistan. Joseph Ogbonna revels in the intriguing cultural and political history of the island of Corsica. Nozima Gofurova describes the cultural treasures she saw during her tour of Uzbekistan’s Center for Islamic Education. Jernail S. Anand encourages us to look to wise examples from history to create the world we would like to see.

Tasneem Hossain celebrates the richness of the world’s heritage of dance. Federico Wardal highlights an upcoming star-studded event in Rome celebrating Dante Aligheri which will be attended by cinema and theater luminaries. Yatti Sadelli reviews Dr. Bashir Issa Al-Shirawi’s poetry, highlighting his theme of the inner strength and resilience of the world’s women.

Language and literature are part of world culture as well as a bridge among various cultures. Nozimova Shukrona highlights the value and importance of reading as a way to learn and participate in global thought. Jernail S. Anand urges readers to nourish our minds as well as our bodies, with a well-chosen and varied diet. Tursunaliyeva Zilolaxon celebrates the value of books, literature and libraries. Joseph Nechvatal’s review of Rus Khomutoff’s poem “Kaos Karma” examines the work as an abstract machine that combines literature and chaos magick philosophy, exploring themes of multiplicity, singularity, and the relationship between poetry and passion. Yulduz Kurbоnоvа explores how courtesies embedded in the Uzbek language can get lost in translation to other tongues. Delo Isulfi pays tribute to Rohini Kumar Behera, reflecting on his poetry, highlighting Behera’s themes of peace, gratitude, and nature, and how they convey a sense of spirituality and universality.

Education serves as a vital site where tradition and innovation meet—a place where societies negotiate fluid continuity and change. Many contributors discuss best practices for teaching language and other subjects in school. Subanova Dilafruz discusses audio aids for young language learners. Charos Mansurova discusses the phenomenon of English “loan-words” in Korean. Azimova Nilufar Egamberdiyevna compares word structures in English and Uzbek. Pardayeva Yulduz outlines methods of English-Uzbek idiom translation. Abduraufova Nilufar Khurshidjon kizi highlights the need for parents and educators to work together to teach young children. Qurbana Mubinakhon Umidjon qizi discusses how parents and educators can cooperate to inculcate national values in Uzbek children. Usmonaliyeva Bahora Abduvali qizi explores the role of idioms in Uzbek literature. Ahadova Feruzakhon looks at ways to improve student vocabulary knowledge.

Image c/o Omar Sahel

Abduhalilova Sevdora Xayrulla kizi asserts the importance of physical education in school. Isakova Mukhlisa Khusanboevna illuminates exercise as a stress reliever for students. Bakhromova Gulsanam discusses the importance of inclusive education for students with disabilities and practical ways to make that happen. Abdullajanova Shahnozals’hoqxon suggests ways to help shy language students feel more comfortable speaking up in class. Dildoraxon Turgunboyeva explores how to create nurturing and educational preschool environments. Abduhalilova Sevdora offers up a polylexical analysis of English language phraseology. Turdaliyeva Mohidil Baxtiyor qizi discusses classroom activities to enhance student vocabulary. Dildoraxon Turg’unboyeva highlights the value of dictionaries in education. Ahadova Feruzakhon suggests ways to work with vocabulary when teaching young students their native language. Shahnoza Amanboyeva points to 3D modeling and artificial intelligence as tools to enhance science classrooms.

One of education’s important social functions is to prepare students to join the workforce. The global economic landscape is continually in flux, as several contributors discuss. Satimboyeva Risolat Ilhomboy qizi outlines future prospects for job growth given emerging world technologies. Azamova Feruza Abduholiq qizi suggests ways to improve the service sector of Uzbekistan’s economy.

Turning to medicine, Mamadiyorova Durdona outlines the structure and function of the human placenta. Ashurova Parizoda explores the biological characteristics of the parasite Ascaris and its effects on the human body. Xamroyeva Shaxlo discusses the process of blood formation in the human body.

For a look at a widely discussed technology, Rahmonova Barno Kilich qizi probes the economic future of our world after the growth of artificial intelligence. Nurmatova Charosxon Pirnazar qizi also explores how artificial intelligence is reshaping education and the global economy. Toshbotirov Bekjaxon Asliddin o‘g‘li outlines useful roles for AI in the classroom. O’rinboyeva Ziynatjon Anvarbek qizi points to effects of artificial intelligence on society.

Image c/o Andrea Stockel

Dildora Sultonova celebrates human intelligence, singing an ode to her resplendent and resilient dreams. Eva Petropoulou Lianou interviews poet Eldar Akhadov, highlighting his optimism and respect for the next generation.

A common thread in this entire issue is the persistence of human connection in the face of change. Each contributor grapples with how individuals and communities relate to each other, to history and culture, to the natural world. Smaller scale personal narratives and larger stories intertwine as overlapping dimensions of the human story. The blending of artistic forms and styles in several works evokes the complex flowing of ideas within the creative mind, a current that dissolves rigid boundaries among ideas and cultures.

The collection suggests that while much of our lives inevitably flows and shifts with the passage of time and with cultural and technological change, the underlying human impulses to connect, to understand, and to create meaning remain constant..

Poetry from Sayani Mukherjee

Festival

The freckles of festivity

Comes nearer to me

As I ride along the silhouetted past

Dim lit crevices of my heart

The birdsong knows my happiness

Knows the sorrows of my unfolded dreams

Little by little I get deeply personal

The horizontal dreams are rushing again

The rose dreamt of Jerusalem and heaven

The nocturnal past of Shakespeare’s heroines

The flute of Krishna is forever love

I come together with love and festival.

Essay from Toshbotirov Bekjaxon Asliddin o‘g‘li

AI in the Classroom: Educational Revolution or Intellectual Laziness? 

It’s hard to ignore how much AI has crept into our daily lives lately, and education is probably where we see it most. Whether it’s students looking for a quick explanation or teachers trying to organize their week, everyone seems to be using it. While some people are excited about how much time it saves, others are honestly a bit worried about where this is all heading.

One of the coolest things about AI is how it treats every student as an individual. Let’s face it: no two people learn at the exact same speed. AI tools can actually track how you’re doing and suggest materials that fit your specific level. For instance, a lot of people nowadays use AI to polish their English or get ready for the IELTS. It lets you skip the stuff you already know and focus on your weak points, which makes the whole process much faster.

Plus, it just makes learning less of a chore. Instead of staring at a dry textbook for hours, you’ve got interactive apps and smart systems that keep things interesting. It also takes a huge load off teachers’ shoulders. By letting AI handle the “boring” stuff—like grading repetitive homework or prepping basic handouts—teachers can actually spend more time talking to their students and tackling the tough topics together.

But, it’s not all perfect. There are some real red flags we shouldn’t ignore. The biggest concern is that students might start leaning on AI a bit too much. If you let an app do all the thinking for you, even for the simple tasks, your own problem-solving skills are bound to get rusty. If we stop challenging ourselves, we aren’t really “learning”—we’re just outsourcing our brains.

There’s also the issue of fairness. Not everyone has a high-speed internet connection or a brand-new laptop. While some students are getting ahead with these fancy tools, others are being left behind just because they don’t have the access. This digital divide is a massive problem, especially in developing parts of the world.

In my view, AI is a fantastic tool, but only if you know how to use it without letting it take over. It should be there to support your learning, not replace your brainpower. At the end of the day, it’s all about finding that balance. If we use it wisely, AI could be the best thing that ever happened to education, but we have to stay in the driver’s seat.

Toshbotirov Bekjaxon Asliddin o‘g‘li was born on April 9, 2009, in Nurobod district of Samarkand region.

He studied at Secondary School No. 1 in Nurobod district from 2016 to 2025. Currently, he is studying at Nurobod District Technical College (Technical School).

Achievements: B2 Multilevel certificate, Ibrat Academy 2+6 program participant, certificate in Artificial Intelligence, member of the National Program.

Interests: Artificial Intelligence and IT.

Essay from Delo Isulfi

By Delo Isufi, Albania

Homage to the Indian Poet Rohini Kumar Behera

I write these lines with a sense of احترام and inner gratitude, as a translator who had the privilege to bring his poetic voice closer to Albanian readers.

On March 12, 2026, the world of poetry lost a noble and gentle soul—Rohini Kumar Behera, a poet from Odisha, whose verses carry a rare purity of thought and a quiet spiritual depth. His poetry became part of my literary journey during the preparation and translation of the anthology White Fog, where, among many distinguished Indian poets, his voice revealed a sincerity that is both disarming and enduring.

I also recall with deep respect his life companion, the poet Swapna Behera, whom I had the pleasure to meet twice in India, during poetic festivals. Those encounters remain for me not only memories, but moments where poetry stepped out of the page and became human presence.

This homage is written in my name—as a reader, as a translator, and as someone who believes that poetry builds invisible bridges between cultures.

Peace For Mankind

Peace is sweet and adoring

A world of peace is endearing

A daring venture in present commotion

I dream of a World of Peace

Happiness is more a choice

Peace is kindliness of divine care

A heart comprehending each other

A soul reaching out to one another

Peace is where everything is silent

Peace is a petite gift from God

To nurture for the entire Mankind .

This poem unfolds as a lyrical meditation on peace—not merely as an abstract ideal, but as a lived, spiritual condition. The repetition of the word peace functions as an anaphora, reinforcing its centrality and transforming the poem into a quiet incantation.

Through metaphors of tenderness and divinity, peace becomes “a petite gift from God” and “kindliness of divine care,” elevating it from a human desire to a sacred value. The imagery of “a heart comprehending each other” expresses empathy as the foundation of harmony.

Message:

Peace is both divine and human—something to be nurtured within and shared universally.

My Gratitude

Happiness is my gratitude of veiled wish

Is the key to a life of hallowed bliss

Each moment with love , grace and generosity

A tender feeling of cordiality and positivity

Blessed are those who give without remembering .

Gratitude is riches , complaint a poverty

It can turn a negative into positivity

Is a secret door to ultimate happiness

Is a magnet to all life’s loveliness .

Gratitude can turn a meal into a feast

A house into a home , a stranger into a friend

Has a mission for tomorrow’s Vision .

Grace heals the heart that aches

Mends the wounds and patches the scrapes .

Let us embrace gratitude as our maxim

To express splendour of divinity in true axiom .

In this poem, gratitude is elevated into a life philosophy. Through extended metaphors—gratitude as “riches,” “a magnet,” “a secret door”—the poet reveals its transformative power.

The antithesis “Gratitude is riches, complaint a poverty” captures a profound ethical stance. Everyday realities are reshaped: a meal becomes a feast, a house becomes a home—clear metaphorical transformations that show how inner perception creates outer meaning.

Message:

Gratitude is the essence of happiness and spiritual richness, capable of healing and transforming life.

Nature Is Often Queer Magical

Nature is often queer magical

Present to us transcendental

A miraculous scene of allure

Seldom found in blue yonder

At horizon Sun takes farewell

The Moon bids being celestial

A rare view of holy Communion .

This brief yet evocative poem reflects Behera’s contemplative vision of nature. The phrase “queer magical” suggests mystery beyond logic, while the horizon becomes a stage for a cosmic ritual.

The meeting of sun and moon is rendered as a “holy Communion”—a powerful metaphor of unity, blending the physical and the spiritual. The imagery is minimal, yet deeply symbolic.

Message:

Nature reveals the sacred through its silent, eternal rhythms, inviting the human soul toward reflection and transcendence.

Rohini Kumar Behera’s poetry is marked by simplicity, sincerity, and spiritual depth. His themes—peace, gratitude, and nature—form a universal triad that speaks to all humanity.

This homage, bearing your voice as translator and witness, is not only a tribute to his passing but a celebration of a poetic spirit that continues to live through his words.

Short story from Shlok Pandey

Wombs of World War 2 

Time crawled, dates changed. August 31st was gone, September 1, 1939, stood there, a ghost for all.

One could see the darkness spreading all around as the sun rose over the horizon, marking its arrival. This was because the Germans had attacked the Polish border. Some real screams of the dead were heard. Many silent screams were heard, not by the ears, but by the ears of the heart—a prediction of what more was to come. Everyone’s eyes saw the blue river appearing red today, in the sky of doomsday. Everyone was dead silent, expressionless with a single thought – “Whatever is to come, will we have anyone by our side to lend us shoulders?”. This thought was frightening, and it squeezed the heart out of anyone. 

Hanna lived with her only son in Toruń. She was divorced from her husband who was a famous Polish writer and journalist. She was a single mother, and she raised her son all by herself who later joined the army.  The order had come, and her son had already left to fight the war from Poland’s side, following the mobilisation and careful, strategic organisation of the Polish army which became really chaotic due to German invasion. Since Toruń was a military hub, he never knew before he left that he would be told to join a unit that will be sent to Warsaw to fight, and many of the soldiers will perish on the way. 

The day before he was going, she couldn’t think of anything else except his going. In the evening, she sat at the old armchair in her living room, keeping the lights off except for a dim bulb. She sat expressionless with tears just flowing down, and her son sat on the floor with his head on his mother’s lap and kept staring ahead. 

That night, he slept cuddled to her, and she held him like a baby. The next morning, he got dressed, ate his favourite breakfast made by his mother, and started putting on his boots to leave. She walked towards the door with trembling legs and couldn’t control her tears. She couldn’t explain how scared and uneasy she felt.

“Promise me, you’ll take good care of yourself,” he said, his wet eyes full of emotion. 

“I will,” she somehow managed to reply. She kissed his forehead and combed his hair with her hands. He left, then, and she stood there until his body disappeared from her sight. 

She went back in and lay on the bed fatigued and weak due to the immense stress had taken over. Her eyes, now wrinkled, suddenly became too tired, and her face grew pale and dull due to the tension – what would happen to her son? She was finding it too difficult to survive a few hours after he had gone, she thought about how would she manage to live all these days as he would come back after months. 

She could barely eat anything, always thinking about what condition her son would be in at that moment, and could never find herself at peace. As days crawled by, she would keep her hand on her heart as she heard the casualties from the neighbours. She also kept track of what was happening in the neighbourhood, who came and who went. She hardly ever got to listen to the radio as Toruń had been occupied by the Germans by the end of the first week of September, and this was followed by the gradual forbidding to listen to foreign BBC radio and Polish radio stations which were the main sources to get to know about the proceedings of the war. To gather information about what was really happening at the site of fighting or to learn about the real sufferings of the people, returning soldiers, local authorities passing by, and neighbours were the only sources of information about any new news and harm done. She waited daily, and asked her neighbour about who came back, and who departed to heaven. The feeling of dependency, and not knowing immediately what had happened was very difficult to tackle. 

During the Siege of Warsaw in September 1939, Civilians were being killed, and even the soldiers were dying. This news sent chills down her spine; she didn’t know where her son was. She was torn apart between negative thoughts, great worry, and a little bit of hope that everything would be all right. She used to sit all day with her eyes closed, praying for him and sending him blessings of long life. She hoped it reached him. But did this Great War care about anyone’s sufferings? Definitely not. 

She woke up one day, and was way too tired that day, and mostly lay down. She had taken an immense amount of stress which had clearly degraded her mental well-being and physical health. There were no thoughts in her mind that day, just his face going on in her head. 

The next day, while she sat on the sofa lost in her thoughts, she suddenly felt pain in her stomach. She couldn’t figure out why, but it didn’t go away. Two days later, she was told that Warsaw had been besieged and had to surrender. She felt restless, and sat every day the upcoming days at the entrance of the willing to spot her son from the very few soldiers who were returning. Sadly, she couldn’t spot him coming home. 

Many days later, in the last week of October, a gentleman knocked upon the door of her house. She didn’t recognise him but welcomed him inside the living room. 

“I must sadly tell you that your son has sacrificed his life for our country, and has departed to heaven,” he said with moist eyes as his voice trembled, his hands shook, and he couldn’t look into the eyes of the mother. 

Hanna sat there expressionless, eyes wide open, and she forgot to respond. She felt as if she had fallen into a black hole and was sinking down and down. 

“How did you come to know?”, she managed to control her emotions and ask him. 

“ You have never met me, but I live quite a few crossroads away from here. I met him on the day we were being sent to Warsaw. We were the few lucky ones who managed to go and fight in Warsaw.  There we fought bravely on the streets of the city. Some soldiers who had spent a full day fighting, used to go back to the basement of a school that had been shut down during the war. We would rest at night along with other soldiers, we were both among them. Every night we hid in the basement, and we would see who had come back. The one who hadn’t come back had gone to heaven for sure. The day your son passed away, I scanned through the entire basement, but he was nowhere to be seen, and never came back. Then two days later, all the other fellow soldiers who were most of the time seen with him, were worried about his absence. This news might look uncertain, but trust me as I am also a soldier, and I have seen many of them die, your son is dead, as the one soldier with whom he mostly fought and was mostly there with him didn’t know where your son was. This probable news is the only thing what the families get.  But very shortly, Warsaw had been besieged, and I was a captured soldier. With great difficulty and immense risk I managed to escape. I decided to disguise myself as a civilian, got rid of my uniform, and ran away with difficulty. I blended in with many Polish people who were moving around. I walked down long rural routes, moving at night and taking food and water from the kind people whose homes I passed by. I came back home yesterday”. 

She couldn’t control her tears after listening to this. She started yelling and sobbing and beating the sofa with her hands. He tried comforting her, but he knew nothing could help her except bringing her son back. 

“I can’t even see the dead body of the child I nurtured in my womb for nine months,” she said as her pain knew no bounds. 

“I live at the sixth crossroad. Tell me if you need anything. Take care,” that was all he could manage to say and he left her alone to heal herself. 

She sat at the window of her bedroom. Her eyes saw a bird chirping loudly, crying in its language and panicking, as she came back to the tree finding her egg broken and fallen on the ground. Now, she couldn’t control herself. She started weeping and moaning and cursing god. She felt as if her womb, which nurtured her son and shed blood to let him out into the world, was now being stabbed and set on fire. She cried for hours nonstop, seeing his photos and begging him to come back. Her emotional pain had now converted to physical pain. The burning sensations throughout her body and the immense weakness she experienced were nothing compared to the terrible pain one experiences while giving birth to a child. She sobbed loudly, her hand on her womb. 

“Why?”, this immensely loud cry of hers echoed through the silent neighbourhood filled with the vacuum of terror and hopelessness. It shook the souls of those who heard this haunting cry, as nobody could understand why this war had to take place. People lost their limbs, were burnt alive when bombs fell upon them, some starved and many lost their children and loved ones, but what problem in the world can be so big for the leaders of their countries to give rise to such a bloodshed, nobody could understand this. 

The next day, she couldn’t bear it and thought of committing suicide. She wanted to go back to her son. She had prepared herself to burn herself alive, and just at that moment came a voice – the last words her son had spoken to her. He wanted her to take care of herself. But how could she when she had died from the inside now? She continued to live for him, fulfilling his last wish, like an almost-dead person, until death actually came to her. 

She prayed for death to come, for days, but she knew she had to live for him. That’s when she one day stood up, and re-assembled his crate. She made soft balls of his clothes which carried a very slight scent of him into the shape of a baby, and fixed his photograph on it. That’s where she was always, singing his favourite lullaby to that baby she had made. Seeing it, she was sure that just like how this lullaby made this baby sleep, it would also reach to her son resting peacefully in heaven. 

Hanna used to learn about these events days after what had happened through the neighbours and trusted people who were a part of the tiny, secret and illegal presses who told people to pass on the course of events as they met other people; and the ones who could bring in the courage of listening to forbidden radios which was prohibited by the Germans and could bring a death sentence. Every time she learnt any horrible news, she became more and more ashamed of being a human. But there was more tragedy to follow her. 

On the night of 25th October 1939, German officers banged her door. When she opened the door, she came to find out that they had come to capture her as she was the ex-wife of a famous Polish journalist who was actively spreading nationalism among Polish people and was caught running an illegal and secret press that informed the people, hence she was also misunderstood in being an influential nationalist. The Germans arrested anyone who could be a part of spreading Polish nationalism, or if they were linked by relation to any such elite person and were assumed to be guilty. There she was being taken away, with very few basic belongings like a few clothes. She carried her son from his crate and tried to hide it from their eyes but couldn’t. Those German soldiers quickly examined her and told her to hand over. As she handed it over to them, and they saw that photo, they threw her assembled baby on the floor and did not allow her to take it with her. 

“Please I beg you, I will do whatever you say, I will obey you and go where ever you tell me to. He is dead, this is all his memory I can have with me,” she begged them as she wept looking at the photograph of her son on her baby that had been thrown on the floor. They dragged her away to Fort VII, and there kept her with other many captured Polish people. She was always kept in extreme hunger, and in poor conditions, letting her shiver if she felt cold. That incident, when they didn’t allow her to keep her son’s clothes and photo, had made a serious impact on her. She screamed and wailed loudly, and shivered continuously murmuring. “I want him back,” she used to yell.  

But there was good news awaiting her. She was one of the many guilty nationalistic Poles were taken from the Fort VII in Poznań to the Barbarka Forest to execute them. They were killed here as these forests were away from the normal areas where people lived and getting rid of those dead bodies would be easier here in these forests. She could now go and reunite with her son in heaven – the moment for which she was yearning and tormenting for so long now. She was shot by the Germans and blessed the soul who freed her from this suffering of maternal loss as she fell down on the ground. 

Shlok Pandey is a 17-year-old Indian writer who is a student of a completely different field and practices writing and reading in the very little spare time he can manage from his studies. His stories have appeared in the Wise Owl Magazine, Setu Journal, The Drift and Dribble Miscellany and Wildflower Post and his poems have appeared in/ forthcoming in The Crossroads Review, cloudymoon lit mag, The Utrecht Pigeon Magazine, Poetic Practice and Aesterion magazine.

Essay from Sevara Matnazarova

What It Really Means to Grow Up

Growing up never came to me as a clear turning point—it arrived quietly, almost in the background of ordinary days. I used to imagine adulthood as a stage where everything finally makes sense, where decisions feel natural and confidence is constant. But the first time I truly felt something shift was much less impressive. I remember making a decision I thought was right at the time—nothing dramatic, just something small I didn’t think through carefully. Later, when things didn’t go as expected, there was no one to correct it for me, no one to take over. I had to sit with the result and admit, at least to myself, that it was my responsibility. That moment stayed with me, not because it was big, but because it felt honest. It made me realize that growing up isn’t about having control over everything—it’s about accepting that you don’t, and still taking ownership of your choices.

Over time, I began to notice how much of growing up is tied to uncertainty. There were situations where I had to decide something important—what direction to take, what to prioritize, when to let go of something that no longer felt right—and I didn’t feel ready for any of it. I kept waiting for a moment where everything would feel clear, where I would feel completely sure. But that moment never really came. Instead, I acted while still doubting myself. Sometimes it worked out, sometimes it didn’t, but each time I understood a little more. I realized that confidence is not something you have before making decisions—it’s something you build after facing the consequences of them. That shift changed how I see progress. It’s not about avoiding mistakes anymore; it’s about being able to continue despite them.

       Another quiet change happened in how I see people. I used to think in simple terms—someone is either right or wrong, kind or not, trustworthy or not. But real experiences made those categories feel too small. I’ve had moments where someone disappointed me, even though I believed they wouldn’t, and other moments where someone showed unexpected understanding when I needed it most. It forced me to pause before judging too quickly. I started to realize that people carry things you don’t always see—stress, fear, personal struggles—and sometimes their actions reflect that more than their intentions. Growing up, for me, meant learning to look beyond first reactions and trying to understand before forming conclusions. It didn’t make everything easier, but it made things more real.

At the same time, I had to learn how to deal with my own emotions in a more honest way. There were times when I felt overwhelmed or frustrated, and my first instinct was to ignore it, distract myself, or pretend it didn’t matter. But those feelings don’t disappear—they stay, quietly affecting your thoughts and reactions. I remember a situation where I almost responded impulsively to something that upset me, but instead I chose to step back and think about it later. That small decision—to pause—changed the outcome completely. It made me understand that growing up isn’t about not feeling anything deeply; it’s about not letting those feelings control everything you do. It’s a slow process, learning when to speak, when to stay silent, and when to simply give yourself time.

My expectations of life have also changed in ways I didn’t expect. I used to believe that if you worked hard and stayed consistent, things would naturally fall into place. And while effort does matter, reality doesn’t always follow that pattern. There have been moments where I did everything I thought was right and still didn’t get the result I hoped for. At first, that felt frustrating, even unfair. But gradually, I began to understand that life doesn’t owe us predictable outcomes. What matters more is how you respond when things don’t go according to plan. That realization didn’t make things easier, but it made them clearer. It shifted my focus from trying to control everything to learning how to adapt.

What surprised me the most is that growing up isn’t about losing who you were before. It’s not about becoming cold, overly serious, or detached from your own hopes. In fact, I feel like I understand myself better now than I did before. The difference is that my expectations are more grounded. I still care about things deeply, but I’ve learned where to invest my energy so it doesn’t drain me completely. I still have goals, but I no longer expect them to happen quickly or perfectly. Growing up, in that sense, feels less like changing into someone else and more like becoming more aware of yourself—your limits, your strengths, and your patterns.

       In the end, what feels most real is that growing up is not a destination you reach, but a way you learn to move through life. It’s in the small decisions, the quiet reflections, the moments when you choose responsibility over comfort. I still don’t have everything figured out, and I don’t think anyone truly does. But I’ve learned to stand by my choices, to accept uncertainty without letting it stop me, and to keep moving forward even when things feel unclear. Maybe that’s what growing up really means—not having all the answers, but being willing to live honestly without them.

By Sevara Matnazarova 

From Khorezm, Uzbekistan

Essay from Muhammadyusuf Kozimjonov

History of Uzbekistan: Stages of Development from Ancient Times to Independence

University of Business and Science, Faculty of History, student of group 22-06, Muhammadyusuf Kozimjonov

Abstract 

This article analyzes the stages of Uzbekistan’s historical development from ancient times to independence. The study examines early states formed in the region, including Sogdiana and Bactria, within the broader context of historical processes. It also highlights the political, economic, and cultural significance of the period of Amir Timur during the medieval era. The research is based on historical, comparative, and source-analysis methods. The findings indicate that the territory of Uzbekistan developed as an important center of civilization across different periods, with a continuous and interconnected historical evolution. The article aims to provide a systematic overview of the key stages of Uzbekistan’s history.

Keywords: History of Uzbekistan, ancient period, medieval period, statehood, Silk Road, culture, independence.

Introduction 

The territory of Uzbekistan has long been one of the key centers of human civilization. Since ancient times, this region has been characterized by the development of advanced culture, science, and statehood traditions. Located in the heart of Central Asia, it has served as a crossroads of various civilizations, states, and peoples throughout history. In particular, the Silk Road played a crucial role in fostering economic growth and cultural exchange in the region.

The history of Uzbekistan can be divided into several major periods: ancient times, the medieval era, the modern period, and the period leading up to independence. Each of these stages has distinct political, economic, and cultural characteristics that significantly contributed to the country’s development. In ancient times, states such as Sogdiana and Bactria emerged, while in later periods, the empire of Amir Timur left a profound mark on the region’s political and cultural life.

This article examines the stages of Uzbekistan’s historical development from ancient times to independence, highlighting the distinctive features of each period based on scholarly analysis.

Literature Review 

The study of Uzbekistan’s history from ancient times to independence is based on a wide range of scholarly works by both local and international researchers. In particular, the works of Vasily Bartold provide a comprehensive scientific analysis of Central Asian history, offering valuable insights into the region’s political and cultural development. Additionally, archaeological research conducted by Sergey Tolstov has played a significant role in uncovering the history of ancient civilizations, especially that of Khorezm.

The contributions of Boris Gafurov are also essential in understanding the historical processes of Central Asia, as his works present a holistic analysis of the region’s development. Furthermore, studies by Uzbek scholars such as A. Askarov and E. Rtveladze have significantly enriched the understanding of different historical periods in Uzbekistan.

For the medieval period, written sources such as “History of Bukhara” by Narshakhi serve as key references. Likewise, the work “Zafarnama” by Sharaf ad-Din Ali Yazdi is an essential source for studying the era of Amir Timur.

In the modern period, research on Uzbekistan’s history has evolved significantly, especially after independence, with new methodological approaches and interpretations. Publications by the Academy of Sciences of Uzbekistan have contributed greatly to reassessing and objectively presenting national history. Overall, the existing body of literature provides a comprehensive foundation for studying the various stages of Uzbekistan’s historical development.

Methodology 

This study employs a комплекс of scientific approaches to examine the stages of Uzbekistan’s historical development from ancient times to independence. The research is based on the principles of historicism and logical analysis, meaning that historical events are analyzed in their chronological sequence and in terms of cause-and-effect relationships.

A comparative-historical method is used to identify similarities and differences between various historical periods and to reveal their developmental trends. In addition, a системatic analysis approach is applied to study the interconnections between different political entities that existed in the region, including Sogdiana and Bactria.

The source-based (historiographical) approach plays a key role in the research. Written and archaeological sources are critically analyzed, including important works such as History of Bukhara and Zafarnama. Furthermore, modern scholarly publications, particularly those issued by the Academy of Sciences of Uzbekistan, are utilized to provide a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

The study also employs methods of analysis, synthesis, and generalization to construct an integrated view of historical processes. This methodological framework allows for a thorough and systematic exploration of the different stages in the history of Uzbekistan.

Results and Discussion 

The results of the study indicate that the historical development of the territory of Uzbekistan has evolved in a consistent and stage-by-stage manner, with each period characterized by distinct socio-political and cultural features. In ancient times, the emergence of states such as Sogdiana and Bactria demonstrates the early formation of statehood in the region. During this period, trade and economic relations flourished, particularly through the Silk Road, which enhanced the region’s international significance.

In the medieval period, the region became a major center of science and culture. The empire established by Amir Timur ensured political stability and created favorable conditions for economic and cultural growth. Significant achievements were made in science, architecture, and urban development.

During the modern and especially the colonial period, the political independence of the region was limited; however, notable transformations occurred in the socio-economic system. Industrialization processes and new administrative structures were introduced, although these changes often served external interests rather than local needs.

On the eve of independence, there was a growing awareness of national identity and a renewed interest in historical heritage. This created the foundation for re-evaluating history and restoring national statehood traditions in the independence period.

The discussion highlights that all stages of Uzbekistan’s history are closely interconnected, with the achievements and challenges of one period directly influencing subsequent developments. Therefore, a comprehensive and systematic approach is essential for understanding the country’s historical evolution.

Conclusion 

In conclusion, the territory of Uzbekistan has long been one of the significant centers of human civilization, with a historical development that has evolved consistently through distinct stages. The emergence of early states such as Sogdiana and Bactria demonstrates the deep roots of statehood traditions in the region. During the medieval period, the era of Amir Timur marked a time of political stability and remarkable achievements in science and culture.

Although later historical periods, particularly the colonial era, had complex and sometimes adverse impacts on the region’s development, the process of national identity formation continued. This process intensified on the eve of independence, laying a strong foundation for the restoration of historical heritage and the development of national statehood.

Overall, all stages of Uzbekistan’s history are closely interconnected, with each period contributing to subsequent development. Therefore, a comprehensive and systematic study of the country’s past is essential not only for academic purposes but also for strengthening national identity and guiding future progress.

References 

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[2] S. P. Sergey Tolstov, Ancient Khorezm. Moscow, Russia: USSR Academy of Sciences, 1948.

[3] B. G. Boris Gafurov, Tajiks: Ancient, Ancient, and Medieval History. Moscow, Russia: Nauka, 1972.

[4] A. Askarov, The Beginning of the Early Iron Age Culture in Central Asia. Tashkent, Uzbekistan: Fan, 1993.

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[6] Narshakhi, History of Bukhara. Cambridge, UK: Harvard University Press, 1954.

[7] Sharaf ad-Din Ali Yazdi, Zafarnama. Tehran, Iran: Institute of Oriental Studies, 1957.

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[13] A. Khalid, The Politics of Muslim Cultural Reform. Berkeley, CA, USA: University of California Press, 1998.

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