First of all, published poet and contributor Tao Yucheng is still hosting a poetry contest, open to all readers of Synchronized Chaos Magazine.

Synchronized Chaos Poetry Contest: We seek short, powerful, imaginative, and strange poetry. While we welcome all forms of free verse and subject matter, we prefer concise work that makes an impact.

Guidelines: Submit up to five poems per person to taoyucheng921129@proton.me. Each poem should not exceed one page (ideally half a page or less). All styles and themes welcome. Deadline for submissions will be in early March.

Prizes: First Place: $50 Second Place: $10, payable via online transfer. One Honorable Mention. Selected finalists will be published in Synchronized Chaos Magazine.

Also, past contributor Alexander Kabishev is seeking international poems of four lines each on the theme of friendship for a global anthology. The anthology, Hyperpoem, will be published by Ukiyoto Press and a presentation of the poem will take place in Dubai in August 2026.

Kabishev says the new vision of the project goes beyond commercial frameworks, aiming to become an international cultural and humanitarian movement, with the ambitious goal of reaching one million participants and a symbolic planned duration of one thousand years.

The focus is on promoting international friendship, respect for the identity of all peoples on Earth, and building bridges of understanding between cultures through poetry and its readers.

Please send poems to Alexander at aleksandar.kabishev@yandex.ru

This month’s issue asks the question, “Who Will We Become?” Submissions address introspection, spiritual searching, and moral and relational development and decision-making.

This issue was co-edited by Yucheng Tao.

Sajid Hussain’s metaphysical, ethereal poetry, rich with classical allusions, reminds us of the steady passage of time.

Jamal Garougar’s New Year reflection emphasizes ritual, spirituality, and the practices of patience and peace. Taylor Dibbert expresses his brief but cogent hope for 2026.

Dr. Jernail S. Anand’s spare poetry illustrates the dissolution of human identity. Bill Tope’s short story reflects on memory and grief through the protagonist’s recollection of his late school classmate. Turkan Ergor considers the depth of emotions that can lie within a person’s interior. Sayani Mukherjee’s poem on dreams lives in the space between waking thought and imaginative vision. Stephen Jarrell Williams offers up a series of childhood and adult dreamlike and poetic memories. Alan Catlin’s poem sequence renders dreams into procedural logic: how fear, guilt, memory, and culture behave when narrative supervision collapses. Priyanka Neogi explores silence itself as a creator and witness in her poetry. Duane Vorhees’ rigorous poetic work interrogates structure: individuality, myth, divinity, agency, culture. Tim Bryant analyzes the creative process and development of craft in Virginia Aronson’s poetic book of writerly biographies, Collateral Damage.

Nurbek Norchayev’s spiritual poetry, translated from English to Uzbek by Nodira Ibrahimova, expresses humility and gratitude to God. Timothee Bordenave’s intimate devotional poetry shares his connection to home and to his work and his feelings of gratitude.

Through corrosive imagery and fractured music, Sungrue Han’s poem rejects sacred authority and reclaims the body as a site of sound, resistance, and memory. Shawn Schooley’s poem operates through liturgical residue: what remains after belief has been rehearsed, delayed, or partially evacuated. Slobodan Durovic’s poem is a high-lyric, baroque lament, drawing from South Slavic oral-poetic density, Biblical rhetoric, and mythic self-abasement.

Melita Mely Ratkovic evokes a mystical union between people, the earth, and the cosmos. Jacques Fleury’s work is rich in sensory detail and conveys a profound yearning for freedom and renewal. The author’s use of imagery—“fall leaf,” “morning dew,” “unfurl my wings”—evokes a vivid sense of life’s beauty and the desire to fully experience it. James Tian speaks to care without possession, love through distance and observation. Mesfakus Salahin’s poem evokes a one-sided love that is somewhat tragic, yet as eternal as the formation of the universe, as Mahbub Alam describes a love struggling to exist in a complicated and wounded world. Kristy Ann Raines sings of a long-term, steady, and gallant love.

Lan Xin evokes and links a personal love with collective care for all of humanity. Ri Hossain expresses his hope for a gentler world by imagining changed fairy tales. Critic Kujtim Hajdari points out the gentle, humane sensibility of Eva Petropoulou Lianou’s poetry. Brian Barbeito’s lyric, understated travel essay passes through a variety of places and memories. Anna Keiko’s short poem shares her wish for a simple life close to nature. Christina Chin revels in nature through sensual, textured haikus.

Doniyorov Shakhzod describes the need for healthy and humane raising of livestock animals. g emil reutter hits us on the nose with cold weather and frigid social attitudes towards the suffering of the poor and working classes. Patricia Doyne lampoons authoritarian tendencies in the American government. Eva Petropoulou Lianou reminds us that we cannot truly enjoy freedom without a moral, peaceful, and just society. Sarvinoz Giyosova brings these types of choices down to a personal level through an allegory about different parts of one person’s psychology.

Dr. Jernail S. Anand critiques societal mores that have shifted to permit hypocrisy and the pursuit of appearances and wealth at all costs. Inomova Kamola Rasuljon qizi highlights the social and medical effects and implications of influenza and its prevention. Sandip Saha’s work provides a mixture of direct critique of policies that exploit people and the environment and more personal narratives of life experiences and kindness. Gustavo Gac-Artigas pays tribute to Renee Nicole Good, recently murdered by law enforcement officers in the USA.

Dr. Ahmed Al-Qaysi expresses his deep and poetic love for a small child. Abduqahhorova Gulhayo shares her tender love for her dedicated and caring father. Qurolboyeva Shoxista Olimboy qizi highlights the connection between strong families and a strong public and national Uzbek culture. Ismoilova Jasmina Shavkatjon qizi’s essay offers a clear, balanced meditation on women in Uzbekistan and elsewhere as both moral architects and active agents of social progress, grounding its argument in universal human values rather than abstraction.

Dilafruz Muhammadjonova and Hilola Khudoyberdiyeva outline the contributions of Bekhbudiy and other Uzbek Jadids, historical leaders who advocated for greater democracy and education. Soibjonova Mohinsa melds the poetic and the academic voices with her essay about the role of love of homeland in Uzbek cultural consciousness. Dildora Xojyazova outlines and showcases historical and tourist sites in Uzbekistan. Zinnura Yuldoshaliyeva explicates the value of studying and understanding history. Rakhmanaliyeva Marjona Bakhodirjon qizi’s essay suggests interactive and playful approaches to primary school education. Uzbek student Ostanaqulov Xojiakba outlines his academic and professional accomplishments.

Aziza Joʻrayeva’s essay discusses the strengths and recent improvements in Uzbekistan’s educational system. Saminjon Khakimov reminds us of the importance of curiosity and continued learning. Uzoqova Gulzoda discusses the importance of literature and continuing education to aspiring professionals. Toychiyeva Madinaxon Sherquzi qizi highlights the value of independent, student-directed educational methods in motivating people to learn. Erkinova Shahrizoda Lazizovna discusses the diverse and complex impacts of social media on young adults.

Alex S. Johnson highlights the creative energy and independence of musician Tairrie B. Murphy. Greg Wallace’s surrealist poetry assembles itself as a bricolage of crafts and objects. Noah Berlatsky’s piece operates almost entirely through phonetic abrasion and semantic sabotage, resisting formal logic and evoking weedy growth. Fiza Amir’s short story highlights the level of history and love a creative artist can have for their materials. Mark Blickley sends up the trailer to his drama Paleo: The Fat-Free Musical. Mark Young’s work is a triptych of linguistic play, consumer absurdity, and newsfeed dread, unified by an intelligence that distrusts nostalgia, coherence, and scale. J.J. Campbell’s poetry’s power comes from the refusal to dress things up, from humor as insulation against pain. On the other end of the emotional spectrum, Taghrid Bou Merhi’s essay offers a lucid, philosophically grounded meditation on laughter as both a humane force and a disruptive instrument, tracing its power to critique, heal, and reform across cultures and histories. Mutaliyeva Umriniso’s story highlights how both anguish and laughter can exist within the same person.

Paul Tristram traces various moods of a creative artist, from elation to irritation, reminding us to follow our own paths. Esonova Malika Zohid qizi’s piece compares e-sports with physical athletics in unadorned writing where convictions emerge with steady confidence. Dr. Perwaiz Shaharyar’s poetry presents simple, defiant lyrics that affirm poetry as an indestructible form of being, embracing joy, exclusion, and madness without apology.

Ozodbek Yarashov urges readers to take action to change and improve their lives. Aziza Xazamova writes to encourage those facing transitions in life. Fazilat Khudoyberdiyeva’s poem asserts that even an ordinary girl can write thoughtful and worthy words.

Botirxonov Faxriyor highlights the value of hard work, even above talent. Taro Hokkyo portrays a woman finding her career and purpose in life.

We hope that this issue assists you, dear readers, in your quest for meaning and purpose.

Tairrie B Murphy: Outlaw Spirit and the Return of My Ruin

I first interviewed Tairrie B Murphy at a coffee house in Hollywood. The setting was intimate, far from the roar of amplifiers, and she teased me about probably eating all the cookies once she left. That playful moment revealed her warmth and humor, qualities that coexist with her volcanic stage presence. During that interview for Juggernaut: The Magazine of Extreme Music, she told me I was her hero for putting Karyn Crisis on the cover. She even hung that cover on her wall. For Tairrie, Karyn represented a kindred outlaw spirit—fierce, feminist, uncompromising.

That resonance was later captured visually when Amelia G and Forrest Black of Blue Blood magazine photographed Tairrie with her own variation on Karyn’s iconic angel wings. Where Karyn had worn angel wings, Tairrie chose bat wings, a darker inversion, a declaration of her volcanic energy. I designed that cover in collaboration with Amelia and Forrest, ensuring the imagery reflected both homage and individuality. At the end of that interview, she leaned in with a mischievous smile and told me she had a hot date with Burton C. Bell, then frontman of Fear Factory. It was classic Tairrie—candid, bold, and unafraid to let her personal life brush against her public persona.

I was also present when Tairrie opened up for and introduced a secret debut of Sepultura with their new singer. On the marquee, Sepultura’s name was disguised as Troops of Doom. Tairrie performed her ass off that night, commanding the stage with volcanic intensity. I was high on cocaine, and when Sepultura launched into the opening riff of “Troops of Doom,” the rhythm tracked perfectly with my heartbeat, fusing the music with my own pulse in a way that felt transcendent. It was one of those moments where the outlaw energy of the scene, the rawness of Tairrie’s performance, and the primal force of Sepultura collided in unforgettable synchronicity. At another concert headlined by Jack Off Jill and Switchblade Symphony, I found myself backstage in a disappointing encounter with Tina Root, who despite once calling me “cool” in an interview, was standoffish and cold. Then Tairrie appeared. Arms wide, voice sharp and affectionate in its outlaw cadence: “Hey motherfucker!” she called out, reclaiming the moment with boldness and warmth, pulling me into one of her trademark squeezns.

That same night, she made a surprise appearance onstage with Jessicka from Jack Off Jill. The two kissed passionately in front of the crowd—not as a stunt, but as an expression of queer solidarity. It was a gesture of unity, defiance, and shared identity, embodying the raw energy of the era while affirming inclusivity and resistance.

Tairrie has always spoken about her career with defiance. She once declared, “Age is meaningless; I have never felt my art came with an expiration date.” She also reclaimed the word bitch as a badge of power, describing herself as “a bitch in total charge of herself.” That ethos runs through her career, from her rap beginnings to her volcanic metal persona. Power of a Woman (1990) established her as one of the first women in gangsta rap. She fronted Manhole, later renamed Tura Satana, then formed My Ruin in 1999. In later years she revisited hip‑hop with tracks like Beware the Crone, infusing witchy Gothic aesthetics into her rhymes. “Sometimes I miss that rapper part of me and the freedom to check a motherfucker with my lyrics,” she admitted, underscoring her refusal to be confined by genre.

Her personal life has been as intertwined with her art as her music. Tairrie and guitarist Mick Murphy married in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee in 2008. Their union is both personal and artistic: together they released multiple My Ruin albums, ran their own imprint, and later launched new projects like SWTEVL. After years in Los Angeles, the couple relocated to Knoxville, Mick’s hometown. Tairrie described it as a “life‑changing move” that allowed them to focus intensely on new music. Their 2011 album A Southern Revelation was written in direct response to political and industry betrayals, sharpening her activist streak. “Being that I’m an ex‑rapper, certain things come very easy to me and I have always loved a good ‘dis’ song. I learned to vent my anger in songs very early on,” she explained.

Her forthcoming My Ruin album, Declaration of Resistance, continues this tradition—a protest record against authoritarianism and censorship, created in the shadow of Trump’s presidency. My collaborations with Amelia G and Forrest Black extended beyond Tairrie. Later, they photographed Dina Cancer and Lesli Spivey from Penis Flytrap for my exclusive interview with Dinah. Those sessions reinforced the outlaw aesthetic that runs through this scene. I remain friends with Lesli and Lucifer Fulci to this day, connections that testify to the enduring bonds forged in underground music and art.

After more than a decade of silence, My Ruin—the duo of Tairrie B and Mick Murphy—are back with Declaration of Resistance. Scheduled for release in late 2025, it marks their first full‑length record in twelve years. The album is framed as a protest record, aligning with their belief in free speech, freedom of expression, and freedom from religion. The lead single, Compromised, dropped in October 2025 to coincide with the nationwide #NoKingsProtest, underscoring their commitment to art as activism. Mick Murphy described the release as My Ruin “getting very LOUD” again, inviting fans to join them on a new journey.

From teasing about cookies in a Hollywood coffee house to bat‑winged photo shoots, from surprise backstage hugs to kissing Jessicka onstage in queer solidarity, from rap beginnings to Gothic witchcraft rhymes, from Los Angeles to Tennessee, from collaborations with Dina Cancer and Lesli Spivey to lasting friendships with Lucifer Fulci, and from the secret Sepultura debut where her performance tracked with my own heartbeat, Tairrie B Murphy has always embodied the outlaw archetype. Bold, feminist, uncompromising, and intensely human, she continues to shape her persona into something completely unique. With Declaration of Resistance, she proves once again that her art has no expiration date—and that her outlaw spirit burns brighter than ever.

Student of the Primary Education Department,

Faculty of Pedagogy, Kattakurgan State Pedagogical Institute

Annotation of Profession-Oriented Literature

Annotatsiya

Ushbu maqolada kasbga oid adabiyotlarning mutaxassislarni tayyorlash jarayonidagi o‘rni va ahamiyati yoritilgan. Tadqiqot davomida sohaga tegishli ilmiy va o‘quv adabiyotlar tahlil qilinib, ularning nazariy hamda amaliy jihatlari ko‘rib chiqilgan. Shuningdek, kasbiy bilim va ko‘nikmalarni shakllantirishda adabiyotlardan samarali foydalanish yo‘llari ochib berilgan. Maqola natijalari ta’lim jarayonida va amaliy faoliyatda muhim ahamiyat kasb etadi.

Kalit so‘zlar: Kasb, kasbiy ta’lim, adabiyotlar, mutaxassis, kompetensiya, nazariya, amaliyot, bilim, ko‘nikma, tahlil

Аннотация 

В данной статье рассматривается роль и значение профессиональной литературы в процессе подготовки специалистов. В ходе исследования были проанализированы научные и учебные источники по специальности, раскрыты их теоретические и практические аспекты. Также показаны эффективные способы использования профессиональной литературы в формировании знаний и навыков. Результаты статьи имеют важное значение для образовательной и практической деятельности.

Ключевые слова:Профессия, профессиональное образование, литература, специалист, компетенция, теория, практика, знания, навыки, анализ

Annotation: This article discusses the role and importance of professional literature in the process of training specialists. The study analyzes scientific and educational sources related to the field and reveals their theoretical and practical aspects. In addition, effective ways of using professional literature to develop professional knowledge and skills are highlighted. The results of the article are significant for both educational and practical activities.

Keywords: Profession, professional education, literature, specialist, competence, theory, practice, knowledge, skills, analysis

Introduction

       In today’s rapidly developing society, socio-economic progress has significantly increased the demand for highly qualified and competitive specialists. Therefore, one of the most important tasks of the vocational education system is to train professionals who possess modern knowledge and practical skills. In this process, profession-oriented literature plays a crucial role as a primary source of information. Such literature contributes to enriching theoretical knowledge, developing practical experience, and enhancing professional competencies of specialists.

      Through in-depth study and analysis of scientific, educational, and methodological sources, students and professionals gain access to current developments in their fields, improve independent thinking, and develop problem-solving skills. At the same time, effective use of professional literature creates opportunities for applying innovative approaches in professional activities.

      In modern education, systematic study, selection, analysis, and annotation of profession-oriented literature are of great importance. Annotation allows the main content of a source to be presented concisely and clearly, ensuring clarity and efficiency in scientific work. This helps researchers and learners save time and quickly identify relevant information. This article explores the role of profession-oriented literature in the educational process, the theoretical foundations of annotation, and its practical applications. The analysis of existing literature and evaluation of its effectiveness serve as the basis for improving vocational education, enhancing research quality, and strengthening professional training.

Main Part

      Profession-oriented literature is an essential component of vocational education and specialist training. It enables students and professionals to acquire in-depth theoretical knowledge, develop practical skills, and enhance professional competencies. This type of literature includes scientific monographs, textbooks, учеб manuals, research articles, and methodological guidelines. The selection and systematization of professional literature are particularly important. The relevance, scientific validity, and practical significance of sources directly affect the quality of specialist training. Therefore, it is necessary to analyze literature in each professional field and identify its key ideas and conclusions.

      The process of annotating literature increases the effectiveness of scientific research. Annotation briefly presents the content of a source, revealing its purpose, main focus, and scientific value. Through annotation, researchers can quickly determine the relevance of a source for their studies. This process also develops analytical thinking skills.

      Moreover, the role of modern information technologies in working with profession-oriented literature is steadily increasing. Electronic textbooks, online scientific databases, and digital libraries make the acquisition of professional knowledge more accessible and efficient. These resources expand opportunities for independent learning and continuous knowledge updating. As a result, the quality of education improves, and students develop skills in searching, selecting, and critically evaluating information, which enhances their competitiveness.

      Profession-oriented literature also broadens specialists’ professional outlooks by introducing advanced experiences and modern approaches. Regular engagement with such literature increases professional responsibility and fosters a need for continuous self-development, ultimately leading to more effective professional performance.

      It should be emphasized that annotating professional literature is not merely a process of summarizing information, but an important skill that reflects analytical thinking, logical reasoning, and scientific approach. Through annotation, authors learn to distinguish key ideas from secondary information and present content clearly and concisely. This contributes to the development of scientific communication skills, professional literacy, and independent decision-making abilities.

In addition, profession-oriented literature serves as a reliable foundation for integrating theory with practice in vocational education. Systematic work with professional sources helps students understand real-life professional situations and apply theoretical knowledge effectively. Such literature also supports the development of critical thinking and analytical skills by encouraging comparison, evaluation, and interpretation of different scientific viewpoints. Furthermore, exposure to high-quality professional literature promotes academic integrity and research ethics among students. The use of annotated sources enables learners to navigate large volumes of information more efficiently and select relevant materials for their studies.

      Profession-oriented literature also contributes to lifelong learning by motivating specialists to continuously update their knowledge. As a result, professionals become more adaptable to changes in their field and technological advancements. Consequently, effective use of professional literature enhances the overall quality of vocational education and specialist training.Moreover, profession-oriented literature plays an important role in forming students’ professional identity and motivation toward their future careers. By studying field-specific sources, learners gain a clearer understanding of professional standards and expectations. Such literature helps bridge the gap between academic learning and workplace requirements. 

      In addition, engaging with diverse professional texts improves students’ academic reading and writing skills. Profession-oriented literature also supports evidence-based learning by encouraging the use of verified scientific information. Through regular analysis of professional sources, students develop the ability to justify their ideas with credible references. This process strengthens their problem-solving skills and independent learning capacity. Ultimately, continuous work with professional literature contributes to the formation of competent, responsible, and competitive specialists.

Conclusion

      In conclusion, profession-oriented literature has significant scientific and practical value in the process of specialist training. It contributes to the formation of professional knowledge, skills, and competencies, while the analysis and annotation of literature enhance the quality of scientific research. The study demonstrates that effective use and proper annotation of professional literature increase the efficiency of the educational process and ensure the competitiveness of specialists.

      Annotation develops students’ analytical and critical thinking skills and forms the ability to present scientific information concisely and accurately. It also helps to better understand the structure of scientific works, improving academic literacy among students and researchers. As a result, the overall quality of education is enhanced.

      Furthermore, profession-oriented literature expands specialists’ professional perspectives, introduces advanced experiences and modern approaches, and increases professional responsibility. Continuous engagement with such literature fosters self-development and leads to more effective professional activity. Thus, studying and annotating profession-oriented literature plays a vital role in improving research effectiveness, enhancing educational quality, and strengthening professional competence. Moreover, profession-oriented literature plays an important role in forming students’ professional identity and motivation toward their future careers. By studying field-specific sources, learners gain a clearer understanding of professional standards and expectations.

      Such literature helps bridge the gap between academic learning and workplace requirements. In addition, engaging with diverse professional texts improves students’ academic reading and writing skills. Profession-oriented literature also supports evidence-based learning by encouraging the use of verified scientific information. Through regular analysis of professional sources, students develop the ability to justify their ideas with credible references. This process strengthens their problem-solving skills and independent learning capacity. Ultimately, continuous work with professional literature contributes to the formation of competent, responsible, and competitive specialists.

References

1.Karimov, I.A. High Spirituality Is an Invincible Force. Tashkent: Ma’naviyat, 2008.

2. Abduqodirov, A.A. Methodology of Vocational Education. Tashkent: O‘qituvchi, 2016.

3. Yo‘ldoshev, J.G. Pedagogical Technologies. Tashkent: Fan, 2018.

4. Qodirov, B.R. Competency-Based Approach in Education. Tashkent: Innovatsiya, 2020.

5. Salimov, T.X. Research Methodology. Tashkent: Universitet, 2019.

6. Law of the Republic of Uzbekistan “On Education”. Tashkent, 2020.7. Ziyomuhammadov, B. Pedagogical Mastery. Tashkent: O‘qituvchi, 2017.

Facing the Sky

The traces she clearly knows,

I may stumble upon by chance.

They need to be covered again,

Most feared—this is a kind of respect.

The wounds she hasn’t fully recognized,

Unintentionally seen by me,

Must remain exposed,

Not feared—this is a kind of impulse.

The purpose is the cycle,

The cycle is the purpose,

I follow the latter more faithfully.

As long as the stars don’t fall,

Let loneliness marry the eyes.

In Your Eyes

Different colors of red I paint on your lips with mine

and one soul has always been shared between us

You have walked every step with me in this life

And we will continue together through eternity

No other hand will ever touch my skin

And no other heart will ever beat with mine

In your eyes I’ve seen the glow of the moon at night

and the beauty of the golden sun at dawn

There has never been anyone who can compare

to the heart which holds all the love within me.

Look upon me as you always have…

Like a thief waiting to steal a precious treasure from within me.

Long Ago I Wrote a Love Poem

Long Ago, I wrote a love poem

that filled the pages of my heart

I never said who I was writing it for

I don’t think I even knew at first

Then I found that something was missing

with each love poem I tried to write

Every poem I had written with you came easily

but without your lines, they felt incomplete

I watched others try to finish your poems

I never spoke a word of discouragement

But in my heart I knew the reason

and now, I think you do too

No one can finish your poem but me

because we write as one person together

And the same goes for my poems without you.

A bond that has always baffled us both

now makes perfect sense… 

Our Colorful Dream 

I have had more intimate conversations with you

looking into your eyes in silence than speaking.

Life was so empty until you appeared one day

as a result of a prayer I prayed in sadness.

You now bring the sun into my once dark life

and have transformed my hues from black to gold.

You became the knight in my once woeful tale

and I long to stay the beautiful dream in your realm.

I have watched our love grow so strong over time

that no evil could ever penetrate our colorful dream. 

You are the love story who became my reality.

Kristy Ann Raines is an American poet and author born in Oakland California, in the United States of America. She is an accomplished Global Poet and Writer who has written and published three books.

* “The Passion Within”, by Kristy Raines

* “I Cross my Heart from East to West”, by Kristy Raines and Dr. Prasana Kumar Dalai

* “Echoes Across the Oceans”, by Kristy Raines and Nasser Alshaikhahmed

Kristy is right now writing a few children’s books, which will be released sometime this year.

A GOODBYE

It was stormy, cold day, autumn breezes were crashing against her window from time to time and Anne was sitting there without blinking her eyes like a statue in Plato’s academy of Athens, lost in the typhoon of her thoughts. Meanwhile, her mother knocked on the door.

‘’Anne be ready, your father is about to arrive, you have to go to the market’’

It shocked her for a while, she quickly placed her sketch book back in her tote bag, her eyes got captivated by her very own laptop, her ‘fantasia’. A river of tears, started to follow through her eyes. Today was the day, she had to go to market to buy a new laptop, as her ‘fantasia’ was no longer working. She had to replace it, although her heart was reluctant to idea of let go of her partner of years, with whom she shared her nights, days, her ideas, her laughter. It wasn’t easy for her to let go.

She took out her diary and began to write something, while tears flowed through her eyes:

‘I loved you as much as I love blue, as much as I love winter. You have been a piece of my heart for so long; no one can take your place. Fantasía. Goodbyes are hard, yet inevitable. Leaves grow from the stem, withstand so many winds, breezes, and storms, until they lose the stem and fall in late autumn. Spring returns with new leaves, but can they replace their predecessor? Just like the Deluge can’t replace the Big Bang. Wounds shed skin, yet when they heal, they leave a scar behind. Oceans dry up, yet they leave behind their remains. Nothing is replaceable. Everything holds a somewhat unique place in space, and this prophecy is eternal, long-standing, and as old as the tiniest particle in the universe.’’

She closed the diary with the hope that fantasia will always accompany her as memory of love and resilience. The storm outside had been silenced just like ashes of pain in her heart.

Fiza Amir is a Pakistani writer and poet, and a medical student by training. Her work grows out of hospital wards, history, and the quiet interior lives of people—where grief, compassion, and resilience meet. She writes with a spare, lyrical voice that turns lived moments into witness, believing that some stories survive only when they are written.

LOOKING THROUGH

Man is trapped in his self 

Main main. (I ..I)

When this trap breaks 

It is You .. you.

There are very few 

Who go beyond this extremity 

When main (I) and you cease 

It is He He He ..

Actually it is He who existed 

Before Main (I) and You

And He will stay

When I and You are blown away 

You are the Buddha 

If you can see through 

Your own face 

Or in the face of you.